I've been suffering this porn addiction for long enough and I wanted to know whether I should do a vow to restrain myself. It's been becoming horrible and I want to know if taking the vow helps... Thanks for all the help and this is an awesome community.

HI Ashbalt!!!

I don't know if the vow works or not(i'll let others answer that). But posting on the forums and reaching out do work for sure.

So make sure to hang in here and keep in touch.

KOMT!!!!

My experience with making vows is that it helped for about a week. After that it not only didn't work but I ended up breaking my vows too. But that's just me.

Do you see this as a matter of willpower? For example, I know someone who's allergic to dairy. He likes dairy but he likes not being ill even more so he just doesn't eat it, that's the end of it. As far as I know he didn't join an online forum for people suffering from food allergies.

I think masturbation damages me, I want to stop. Sounds simple, so why do I keep going back to it? There must be another reason, something much deeper than 'because I like it'. As I said, my friend likes dairy but that doesn't mean he keeps eating it despite the damage. why do I?

The freedom from the addiction lies in answering that question.

Watson - those are wise words.
ashbalt, listen to the recordings of "the big book by Charlie and Joe " the link can be found on this website. It's excellent and wI'll open your eyes to many things.
good luck.

Welcome, Ashbalt!

Simply making a vow is rarely effective, but the Taphsic Method is something to check out.

guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/20-tools/item/tool-10?category_id=278

R' Ashbalt,
I am not sure if you realize what you just did. You walked into the Waldorf who happens to have a special going for a package that includes luxury room, meals and all amenities and you asked if you can pitch a tent on the road outside.
GYE is not a website, rather it is a real live community of tzaddikim who have gathered to deal with precisely the challenge you are facing. Please look around here and find the live anonymous telephone conferences and make connections where you will be embraced and empowered to finally free yourself of these struggles.
Please feel free to email me privately if you wish and I can tell you whatever you wish to know and answer any questions about this wonderful place.
pischoshelmachat@gmail.com
You surely came to the right place.

Vows can help.
12 steps can help.
phone conferences can.
Openin' up to real people can.
Mussar could be beneficial.

Lots of stuff.

What you gonna do?

b'hatzlachah

I want something that doesn't make me rely on an internet connection the entire time because
1) I don't have it all the time
and 2) With my experience the internet can be a trap fall.
I need something that truly stops the craze and makes a person embarrassed to do so. I'm not saying it has to be the first time but that'll be good.
Anything there like that or I just too imaginative?

I don't understand the last post (my fault, not yours), but it sounds to me like you're searchin' for somethin' that really isn't out there.

Recovery comes thru change from within.

b'hatzlachah

You're one hundred percent right. But I can't be on the internet everytime I have a desire. That's dangerous. I can also masturbate without the internet. Does anyone want to share this burden so that we can be phone buddies or something? Come to think of it, I think that's the best way to go.

i have not posted for years but i feel i must say something here.you say you want the desire to go away.the desire will go away at 120.until then, you are just going to have to deal with it the best you can.
jack

Who have you reached out to for help? You don't have to get help on the internet. Friends, rabbeim, rabbonim, therapists, phone groups, SA groups are all places that you can get help from people. None of the things I just mentioned require internet.

jack wrote:


Agreed!

And Jack
Welcome back!

well since you welcomed me back, i'll say a little more.not too many people posting now remember me, i dont recognize too many names here, but i'm an old-timer from GYE.i started in 2008.in fact sept 3 2008 was my first clean day (lav davka the first) for my entire adult life up till then. i've learned a few things since then which i'd like to share when i have time.i do NOT have internet at home, so i must post from work.i happen to be busy now, so i cant say that much.but i'll post a little of what i learned as i get time.
1 - jack is NOT my real name.
2 - i found the 90 days to be a crucial jump-start in my recovery.without those torture-filled days & nights, i would never have been able to get started.and without the group support i got on this forum - i NEVER would have gotten anywhere.
3 - i found the 12 steps very good - but they come later - you dont start with that - depending on how long one has been addicted.the pull of the magnet gets stronger the longer we feed the addiction.it can become a super-duper-magnet.but the good news is we CAN weaken that pull - the amount we can weaken it depends on how long we've been addicted.and success is measured NOT by where we are now, but how far we've come from where we started.more later.
love y'all
jack

Jack - great to hear from you!

I'm not sure whether to say Hallel, skip Tachanun at Mincha, or both!