Machshovo Tova wrote:


Correction: It is not sefer Chareidim. It is sefer Kuzari (brought in Alei Shur chapter 10).

MT

I learned something new about talking to Hashem this past Friday.

It takes a lot of emtional energy. I didn't have it on Thursday night and Friday, and I "slipped" (according to GYE rules, I would call it a fall) terribly on Thursady night. I just couldn't bring myself to be open with Hashem. It was very very dificult, and I didn't want to. I finally called my named friend, and told him exactly that. That I owed Hashem a conversation, but I wasn't ready to admit what I had done wrong, and to accept what Hashem was going to give me, as there are some potentially stressful situations coming around the corner.

After i did that, it put away half of the dificulty of opening up, and I was then able to talk openly to Hashem.

So what I learned is the following:

The most honest opening up can only be done to Hashem, but there are times when the only way to get there is to first open up to a friend.

So friends are as imoprtant as Hashem for without them I can't get to Hashem. But friends themselves are not enough.

and regarding the importance of friends, this is from the Hanhagos of R' Asher of Karlin, brought in Beis Aharon



Translation is welcome

Pidaini wrote:


One should be careful to have a good and trustworthy friend and can keep secrets and should talk to him even half an hour every day and uncover his most deepest secrets and thoughts and feelings of the Evil Inclination because it waits upon the man to kill him etc'...
Sorry, I don't know exactly how to translate the rest...

This sounds very similar to what I do. I talk to Hashem every night after I say the Shema. I always start with, "Hi Hashem." Then I tell Him about my day, whatever happened, no matter how mundane. I just tell him whatever I want. For the first two weeks, I felt uneasy. Now it feels incredible. I think that I can actually feel His response. What happens is that I would feel comforted, like when my rabbi give me a hug. It is just so special.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

Hi. As everything that yidden do generally has a mekor, and as it says " im einon neviim bnei neviim heim". We are holy and and all our movements stem from a higher source, even though we are not consciously aware of it at times.
I saw that the word "davening", which might be irksome initially to some, as it seems to cloud over the depth of what davening is about, being close to hashem, unsurprisingly has a holy deep meaning as well.
"Davennen" aka davening, is a loshon of - D'avinon, from our fathers.
Our holy forefathers enacted it, and their merit is with us at all times.

so, in middle of mevarchin hachodesh this week I was havin' a drop of kavanah (strangely enough), and there in yechadshehu, in the parenthesis (in my chassidishe siddur) was starin' at me....for elul, zug l'teshuvah sheleimah....so I stopped for a second and said to God: Ribbono shel Olam, to me, lately, every month is Elul, and I had everyone here in mind when I (in middle of kislev/teves) said l'teshuvah sheleimah!

I have everyone in mind when responding



AMEN!

I'm not going to repost what I wrote on the Yaakov's Ladder thread. But please look there as it is very nogeiah to this topic.

After that, when I was davening Shemonah Esrei and came to "מלך עוזר ומושיע ומגן" I remembered what my rebbe had told us, that there are three points where Hashem helps, 1) guards bad things from happening 2) Helps out of situation, with letting the person do hishtadlus as well 3) Saves a person from a helpless situation.

When I first heard that I thought that the greatest is the first, that He guards from bad things happening. But today I looked at it entirely differently.

The Kedushas Levi obsereves about the pasuk "אומר לה' מחסי ומצודתי אלהי אבטח בו" that "I will trust in Him" is in future tense, whereas it should seemingly be in past tense. He therefore explains that Dovid Hamelech is telling us that when we see something that tests our bitachon, we should realize that the reason it is coming is in order that we should be able to strengthen our bitachon and come to a new level, hence the future tense "this is coming so that I should trust in Hashem more"

So if a person would strengthen his bitachon right when he sees trouble, then the trouble would pass without incident. But I let myself go deeper and deeper before I remembered that Hashem is waiting for me, and still He is there for me, even though a human could say "I gave you so much time, so many chances to turn to me, now it's too late".

So the fact that he saves a person from such a situation is a much greater action of chessed than if He is able to guard someone since that person had the right bitachon to begin with.

Hashem, please let us all be able to remember that you are always there, waiting for us to recognize you for what you truly are, a loving father, a caring parent, and the true controler of the smallest details of our lives.

Thanks you all - very inspiring

It sounds very much like Rav Sholom Arush he says we all need to speak to Hashem for at least an hour a day - and he's not even talking about sex addicts!!!

I always try to work on being Omed Lifnei HaShem, when I daven. However, when before I joined this website, my kavanah would plummet basly before I recognized that porn and masturbation were cheap fantasy based substitutes for emotional intimacy.

What else does this book provide? I don't want to buy it unless I know it really will be affective. Thanks

I relate to you 100%. I always want to be in control. It's my biggest weakness. I see that at times when things are out of my control, or when things get out on control, I get very very anxious and worried. Even tense, jumpy and somewhat impulsive. When dealing with shadchanim, or when dealing with potential girls I will date or am dating, it really comes out the most. I have to believe that hashem gave me this difficulty and personality for a reason. To work on it. To overcome this negative emotional state of mind. It has a lot to do with my emaunah in hashem and bitachon that he will do what's best for me. I hope to overcome this through hard work!

All feedback and practical advice is welcome!

For me (and everyone here, I think) one of the main challenges is changing what we do, even though we know we have to change... for a variety of reasons... for me, I like to feel "safe", and changing got me out of my comfort zone... so if I was able to alter just one little thing at a time... then get used to it... that was what worked best for me, be"H.

Have a great Shabbos.

I did it! I spoke to Hashem. I was very stressed because of school and work. So approached Hashem and said I am scared that i won't be able to get my work done, I won't get a good grade. I am scared i will be a failure. Please Hashem, please help me. (Something like that)

And it worked!!!! i was extremely stressed but my anxiety went way and i did work!!!! It feels so good, I may have to do this again tomorrow.

shefflover87 wrote:


Hey Shefflover.
Glad to hear you're working on understanding that we're not in control, Hashem is.

I am powerless

He is powerful

He is ready to share that power with me if only I am ready to let him in and take charge. That's why I say to him:
Hashem, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.