Welcome, Guest

Shabbos afternoons
(0 viewing) 
If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Shabbos afternoons 1763 Views

Shabbos afternoons 19 May 2013 09:08 #207332

  • inastruggle
  • Current streak: 25 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
  • Posts: 1263
  • Karma: 35
I've noticed that a lot of people (myself included) having a harder time on shabbos afternoons, so i want to say some stuff that are working for me and if anyone else has some ideas that are working for them then please post.

The things that might be causing it to be a bit harder
1)there's less physical activity on shabbos
2)a lot of unstructured time without being able to do some things that would normally keep us busy
3)the shabbos nap that a)puts you in bed when you aren't so tired b)keeps you up later at night c)makes you a bit sleepier when you get up (that's the way it is for me, at least for a while after i wake up)
4)maybe that shmiras einaim is harder because everyone is dressed up

so far what i've been doing.
1)trying to take a long walk
2)trying to learn a bit more, i try to do things that are light and interest me like pirkei avos, nach,and small dvar toras on the parsha
2)reading kosher magazines (there may be problems with reading the news section on shabbos), biographies, and plain kosher fiction
(like the tale of an emu and giraffe soon in a store near you)
2)maybe find a shiur
3)i decided not to go to sleep at all during the afternoon

another thing i found helpful was to learn in a shul and not at home, it's fuller there plus i find that i think about lust less there.


if anyone has any ideas please post since these aren't really filling up the whole afternoon especially since i'm not sleeping.
Last Edit: 19 May 2013 09:10 by inastruggle.

Re: Shabbos afternoons 19 May 2013 09:15 #207333

  • gevura shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1248 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4179
  • Karma: 505
Something

(Inna asked me to write something)
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Shabbos afternoons 19 May 2013 09:16 #207334

  • inastruggle
  • Current streak: 25 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
  • Posts: 1263
  • Karma: 35
that does not count.

try again

Gevura:

uhhh you messing wit me? cause you better not be messing wit me...
Last Edit: 19 May 2013 09:19 by inastruggle.

Re: Shabbos afternoons 19 May 2013 09:21 #207335

  • gevura shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1248 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4179
  • Karma: 505
See what happens when you take a looooong Shabbos nap and then you're up late and bored?
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Shabbos afternoons 19 May 2013 23:03 #207371

  • zvi
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 224
  • Karma: 11
I have no idea where you live, but I know that in my area there are a million and one shalosh seudos's (no idea how to write that in the plural :-) ) for bochurim/teenagers. Find one and go to it- that'll take up the last hour and a half-2 hours of Shabbos afternoon.
Life’s a mountain. You just gotta keep climbing…

Re: Shabbos afternoons 22 May 2013 20:53 #207554

  • mr. emunah
  • Current streak: 121 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1139
  • Karma: 43
Try meditation..

Re: Shabbos afternoons 31 May 2013 06:45 #208119

I find the best thing is to learn with a chavrusa. Boruch Hashem, I've never had a mishap on Shabbos. After Shabbos is a different story... no matter how amazing my Shabbos was.

Re: Shabbos afternoons 31 May 2013 18:27 #208159

for me it doesn't work. first of all the say in hebrew that if you eat cholent you are "chayav-mitah".... (ok not missa - moves. but mitta - bed to sleep)
as far as magazine - as you said it is a problemic idea - especially when you can't avoid the advertiesments there.
taking a walk? is shabbos becoming our exesise day?
finnaly learning. beside the point that except of parsha/shnaim mikro i have a very short daly learning (nach) other than that i don't open a sefer unless i need to learn with my boys (or i find another even-hoezer tshuva) the ר"ת of the word שב"ת we all know it's either שינון בשבת תענוג or שינה בשבת תענוג. r' yaakov galinsky said i's not a stira. you can be יוצא ידי שניהם. just open the sefer & fall asleep on top of it... (better מס' שבת or כתובות, the other ones are not as thik pillow)
I need to remember that:
I'm no a bad person; I'm sick.
I'm not A Choteh. I'm A Chole.
It take time & effort to stay sober but it worth it.

Davening to hashem to keep me sober 1 day @ a time since יום ג שבוע של יום-הכיפורים ו תשרי ה'תשע"ד 
10 Sptember 2013

(and to keep this date)

Re: Shabbos afternoons 31 May 2013 21:57 #208195

  • gibbor120
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
  • Posts: 5251
  • Karma: 166
צדיק גמור wrote:
taking a walk? is shabbos becoming our exesise day?

Better than our masturbation day - no?

Re: Shabbos afternoons 31 May 2013 23:00 #208205

  • inastruggle
  • Current streak: 25 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
  • Posts: 1263
  • Karma: 35
if you take a walk after the cholent (especially to an air conditioned beis medrash) then i don't find it too hard to stay up.

Rema shin aleph, sif beis says it's mutar to go on long walks.

about the advertisements, i think i remember reading in the daily halacha discussion that it isn't l'katchilah and b'nei torah should rather learn, BUT if your wife and kids enjoy it then ain mochin. I would assume that if it stops us from hirhurim then it's probably pashut that it's muttar.
Also if before shabbos you cover the advertisements or take the pages out, (this is easier in some magazines than others, it would be a lot less problematic (though lav davka l'katchilah))

about the learning, there are plenty of good english seforim on all sorts of interesting topics.Also there are plenty of gedolim story books and biographies.

DISCLAIMER: I don't take responsibility for the following links, since i don't know about this site, but the articles i linked to seem to be ok.


here's an article about newspapers on shabbos:
torahmusings.com/2012/11/newspapers-on-shabbos/

here's one that mentions walks:

torahmusings.com/2013/01/shabbat-changing-one/
Last Edit: 31 May 2013 23:03 by inastruggle.

Re: Shabbos afternoons 03 Jun 2013 21:07 #208304

gibbor120 wrote:
צדיק גמור wrote:
taking a walk? is shabbos becoming our exesise day?

Better than our masturbation day - no?
i don't have "masturbation day" i do it 24/7
I need to remember that:
I'm no a bad person; I'm sick.
I'm not A Choteh. I'm A Chole.
It take time & effort to stay sober but it worth it.

Davening to hashem to keep me sober 1 day @ a time since יום ג שבוע של יום-הכיפורים ו תשרי ה'תשע"ד 
10 Sptember 2013

(and to keep this date)

Re: Shabbos afternoons 03 Jun 2013 22:54 #208311

  • mr. emunah
  • Current streak: 121 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1139
  • Karma: 43
so don't

Re: Shabbos afternoons 04 Jun 2013 01:13 #208325

  • chachaman
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 211
  • Karma: 10
Tzaddik Gamur:

what happened to joy in learning? is Shabbos just a day of torture due to restrictions, or is it a day of spiritual growth and regeneration?

Re: Shabbos afternoons 05 Jun 2013 02:07 #208388

yes you are a chacham-man
I need to remember that:
I'm no a bad person; I'm sick.
I'm not A Choteh. I'm A Chole.
It take time & effort to stay sober but it worth it.

Davening to hashem to keep me sober 1 day @ a time since יום ג שבוע של יום-הכיפורים ו תשרי ה'תשע"ד 
10 Sptember 2013

(and to keep this date)

Re: Shabbos afternoons 14 Aug 2013 05:01 #216075

  • sib101854
  • Current streak: 4133 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 517
  • Karma: 25
For starters, try taking a nap for the same time and duration as your wife, and think about a short nap followed by a walk with your wife,and arrange for a seder in some area of Torah followed by Mincha and Seudah Shlishis.
  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.53 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes