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TOPIC: hI 1352 Views

hI 27 Oct 2011 19:52 #123070

  • MELROSE
I am new and I do not know how to do this posting business. I have know idea if I am in right forum.  I'm too shy right now I never talk about meand drugs to anyone. EVER.

I can't believe I just wrote that.  Went to rehab had 4 years no drugs.  It was so easy.  But I realized my life hadn't changed. I was thinking one day as the realization hit me like a 44magnum being held to my head!!  My life is no different now than it was when I did drugs so who cares?  What's the big deal.  So since I've been back on the West Coast for a year and a half I have done meth about 6 or seven times.  I buy 20.00 worth so I don't get crazy but I know there's gotta be another life.  Ok there is another life over some rainbow over somewhere but I am so indolent I wont even try to touch the rainbow cuz I know I can't reach it.  I'm not driven anymore. I just don't believe things will ever be different cuz I don't believe in me and for good reason  Self esteem lower than the Dead Sea no self efficacy, no confidence. the whole deal.  Paralyzed by fear so this dark dark cloud looms over and through me every breath I take.
Melrose
I cant
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Re: hI 27 Oct 2011 19:56 #123071

  • gibbor120
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Hi,

Do you have a 'lust' addiction or only a drug addiction.  I'm sure all addictions have a lot in common.  This forum is for lust addiction.  Many people turn to 12 step programs.  Have you tried that?

Nice to "meet" you!
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Re: hI 27 Oct 2011 20:16 #123085

  • gevura shebyesod
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Hi Melrose,

This site is not really about drugs, but I'm sure that all addictions are similar. I hope you find help here that is useful to you.

Good luck!

Gevura!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
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Re: hI 27 Oct 2011 23:50 #123115

  • obormottel
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Friend Melrose,
I was gonna send you a private message but by your own admission you're not savvy in the blog department, so here comes:
This place is not for drug addictions, so while we can still be friends, we can only offer help that is not as meaningful as another drug addict can offer you.
So if you send me a private message (move your mouse over a little envelope under my username to your left and click it to open a window for messaging) I will connect you with a proper, drug-related group of friends on the West Coast. With Hashem's help, you'll be clean once and for all. 
Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.
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