Bh still going stong, hasham should help , i still cant believe it but bh bh 

hashemisonmyside wrote on 16 Jul 2025 18:35:

I did it, I changed my username to "ICanAndWIll" 
And yes i Can beat this issue I have been living with for over 25 years, and Yes I WILL beat it 
B"H I am at 35 days, and B"H for some reason it has not been hard, B"H I have not had any urges or even when i did have it was small, I cant really explain it, a few things come to mind that i will write below, 
I also know that even thought i am so strong right now, people fall after 100,200,300 days, so i know i am not cured and I am still worried, but also much more confident that i will IY"H beat this, and I will get out of this IY"H.

now to explain what happened suddenly that i dont have those strong urges, and please understand, that for over 25 years I did it almost every single day with short breaks here and there, so for someone like me 35 days is huge, and 35 days without any major urges is even bigger.

so it could be a few things,
1. for the first time in my life, i chatted with a mentor here on GYE and told him everything, and even thought my situation sounded so complex and he was not able to help me exactly what to do, the fact that for the first time in my life i explained it in great detail , I think helped me get it out of my system somewhat, maybe.
2. I always davened privately to the heilager bashefer and i told, its very hard for me to do it myself, please please help me, i want to stop but its so hard, please help me, i need your help, and he answered and he said to me, just start and i will give you the strength and help you, Just a thought.
3. without many preparations or before thought, i closed all of my private emails and social media accounts that I used to get to what i wanted, and this closing myself off that world did something, yes i can always open and i can always go back and find new, but the actual action of closing and from one minute to the other, did something to me, Just a thought .

Anyway, I am so thankfull to everyone here and I have so much respect for everyone that wants to help themselfs, and have an amazing shobbas 

Hi everyone 
bh 47 days clean, and i still cant believe it, it is getting a little harder than in the begining but i am confident in myself

One negetive thought that keeps poping up in my mind, if it feels so easy now, why didnt i do it till now, why did i spend 25 years in this mess.

icanandwill wrote on 20 Aug 2025 12:52:

Very relatable thought. Also one hundred percent a trick of the yetzer hara. 

It's a difficult struggle. Doing well now is not a reason to negate the struggle. Aderaba, it's a reason to feel proud now. 

When you've been clean a year or two we can talk about teshuva on the past. Right now just keep laser focused on the present. 

KOMT!!

icanandwill wrote on 20 Aug 2025 12:44:

WOW!!! That is a lot of days! Keep it up!

I just joined, I'm in yeshiva, and I have these mixed feelings about wanting to stop but not really, and I'm not sure how to get a strong desire to stop, I have a desire from intellect to live every second of my life for Hashem but I don't have any emotional desire so, lust takes me over and says who cares about anything just focus your whole life on getting lust and don't care that you have to start shidduchim soon and life can get really complicated and the lust puts in my head all these uncertainties like maybe it won't destroy your life maybe you can sneak a smartphone w/o your wife knowing or you can go work which will allo you to have internet, can anyone help? 
and also how to I personally connect with people ?

bennun wrote on 21 Aug 2025 09:41:

Shalom Brother bennun, and welcome! 

If you know how, please start a new thread for yourself

There is a great him book for getting positive motivation in this fight. The Battle of the Generation is available here (and on Amazon)  https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

Give it a look and see if reading one chapter each day/night gives you some clarity on connecting  to this emotionally.

To make connections, keep posting on the forum (and reading them), start messaging with some people, and see who you click with. There are a bunch of great folks and special mentors to get to know. As you network a bit you can choose some more personal connections. 

If you are up for it, send a message to our chief mentor Rav HHM (Michelgelner@gmail.com). 
Hopefully someone can post information for the other available mentors.

FYI, even if your future wife never found out, the double life and secrets would be not just a rift between you, but an internal conflict within yourself. You can't build life on lies. 

Looking forward to hearing more from you. Hatzlacha and Kol Tov!

never look back. לוט wife looked back and because of her we enjoy thy dead sea today
never looking back always looking forward!!

Wow wow wow, 
good job by me, 55 days, on my first attempt .
never in a million years did i think i woukd be able to reach this in my first attempt.
guys never ever give up hope.

to be honest, when i first saw the 90 days tracker thingy i thought it was childish, like my kids have a chart and gets rewards, but truely its a major help and determenation , because when things get a little hard the first thing i think of i dont want to break the streak.

one thing thag did help me with my streak is the fact that i started at 7, meaning i came in here when i was already a week clean, it wasnt like the grand decision that i am officially starting, that i did a bunch of times with no succees, it happened sort of withiut thinking about it much, i disconnected from some social media accohnts and was super busy and felt good and accomplished during the week befoee .
so what i feel is that to get on the right track u sometimes have to get on the track by chance.

wow!

keep going strong!!

Hashem is super proud of you....

icanandwill wrote on 20 Aug 2025 12:44:

Wow! 47 days that's A  number!! I wish I were where you are. You must be such a strong person to have gone through so much and still be abble to say Enough is enough!!

My 90th day falls out, let me see if somone can guess on ?

Zos Chanuka? The Yartzeit of Reb Yeshaya ben Reb Moshe?

icanandwill wrote on 29 Aug 2025 20:23:

Yom Kipor