Day 70!!
I can't believe I got this far after nearly ten years of struggling with this. It has gotten easier over the past few weeks. And only 3 days left till my horrible Kabalah

Good luck, we are all rooing for you ! 70 and climbing

I definitely can understand that kaballos are not the optimal route for many, but prepare for how you’d like to continue your ten weeks of cleanliness so you don’t fall the minute your Kaballa is over…

Make the call i did it and im a different person since and im only a few weeks in

sunnyswan68 wrote on 25 Nov 2024 16:00:

Welcome,

Seems like your doing great. I also started my journey in israel. keep on going 1 day at a time

I made it to say 75! However, after that I had a fall. Still, I'm happy with my progress, I never thought I could go that long.  My next goal is to match that, hopefully doing those 75 days better, without slips or fantasizing too much.

Hey R' Sunnyswan6 shlita,

Sorry to hear about the fall.  You sound like you have an amazing mindset despite that, big big inspiration to all my friend.

Just remember that you are a person with 75 days under your belt and NOT starting from scratch.  HHM gave me a great moshel, if you're half way up the mountain and you lose your footing and get back up, you didn't roll down the hill to the bottom, you're starting from where you fell.
Hatzlocho & a Lechtege Shabbos!!

Had a rough few days, with a couple falls. I think it has to do with me not exercising and also going back to my old mindset of it not being so bad, it's just biology. But hopefully I'll get back to it starting today.

R sunnyswan !!!(how the flip did you think of that name). Just caught this thread read through it with trepatation  so sad you fell ....   Was really rooting for you it's nice to see young blood taking on the fight.    I know you heard this a bunch of times already but JUST PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL.   I can't emphasize it enough when I was your age I called gye sed hello then freaked out and hung up. He called back I ignored and I promise you not only do I regret it I cry for that stupid mistake of not talking to someone and letting it off my chest and getting help.     My holy brother do it or your kids if you're not holding by doing it for yourself!!!!               With tears and hugs your friend 

Don't really have a reason to call, kinda have it figured out. I don't mean that I won't struggle and fall, but I know what needs to be done, and it isn't ruining my life. 
Also my username was what gye randomly gave me, honestly didn't care to think about one since I thought that this would be like every other time I signed up - and after a week I would never use it again

My friend, having a friend to hold your hand is THE best thing you can do for yourself. Do yourself the favor and reach out

Brother don't mean to make you feel stupid but if you know what to do then you wouldn't fall right??...  obviously there's more at play  that you can't figure out yourself and you'll only get ,through talking it out with someone who didn't figure out but IS figuring it out.   We all know the answers on paper but when it comes down to it we fail a lot        be smart reach out you have nothing to be afraid of the guy your calling watched the same p*** as you.                     Much luck and hatslacha

No, knowing what needs to be done does not mean I won't fall. It means that I can manage my struggle and go for long periods of time without it or without it ruining my life. To think that I would be rid of this struggle entirely is unrealistic and a goes against biology. I have spoken with a few rebbeim and so called "experts" (none from gye), some things they said made sense and/or helped, other things were just stupid.

sunnyswan6 wrote on 29 Jan 2025 23:39:

Wow I've definitely been there, 65 days and didn't reach out to anyone thought I had it all worked out but to quote the famous R' odyosefchai

"Surely if you needed some info on a tax question, you would be in touch with an accountant, and a medical question would go to a Doctor. 
Same here. 
We are trying to get clean. Why not shmooze to people who were in your situation and figured out how to do it. They are the real experts. They didn't just hear something from someone, they went and figured it out and changed themselves a and shteiged and won! And changed their lives! They are the BEST people to learn from."

I'm not here to convince you of anything, you have to do whatever you're comfortable with, but I can tell you from my own experience he's right reaching out to someone is a game changer, even if you think some of the things that person says are stupid (which they're probably not) sometimes even with knowing all the facts you just need to hear things from another person's prospective (besides for the fact that they've been there done that gotten clean, and know a little bit about dealing with this parsha), and why not unburden yourself to someone else, someone you can be truly honest with without the fear of being judged.

Sof sof you won't regret it if it doesn't work out just don't call again and if it does you'll have an amazing partner/mentor you can reach out to if the going ever gets tough.

Whatever you decide rooting for you and wishing you much hatzlacha!!!!!!!!

sunnyswan6 wrote on 06 Feb 2025 10:27:

Shalom Brother SunnySwan,

Can I pick your brain a bit?

#1 When you say that being rid of this struggle is unrealistic, what is the context? Do you mean you don't think you can ever never fall again? Today is what matters, not the rest of your life. Even if the struggle persists, that doesn't mean you need to eventually succumb. 

#2 You have called it "biology" and while these tayvos are normal (and certain tayva, like to connect with your wife, is healthy), biology isn't an excuse. It kind of sounds like you can't help it - and if you think that, then you won't. G-d created both my biology (guf) and the natural tayva; He also created in me the ability to make choices (maybe actual addicts would need a different approach) and I can control my body. It might be hard and take time to develop, but my biology does not get a final say in how I react and behave - I get to decide that. Having a shmooze with one of the great mentors here could probably elaborate on this more clearly.

#3 I'm sorry you got some bad advice. You could refer me to a well-known expert herbologist, and I'd call it mostly wooji wooji, despite all the people that swear by those remedies. I'm going to the pharmacy to get antibiotics, not drinking some funky "natural' elixir. That's just me. Point being, some well-meaning experts are only experts withing their wheelhouse and different things work for different people. The mentors here have first-hand experience (that I'd venture to say many experts don't have), so I would not dismiss them as something you've tried already. Your choice of course if you want to call or not.

You seem to be in a pretty good place, and a little change might be all you need to do what you think you cannot.

If you keep making new accounts and coming back, why do you leave and what do you want to be different this time?

Continued Hatzlacha and Kol Tov!