lamaazavtuni wrote on 16 Jul 2025 20:14:
I fell today ..... Trying to capture the moment now and capitalize on it to make a good plan going forward,
gonna list y I want to stop to have it on paper when i need it.
#1its not that enjoyable the main pleasure is the fantasy before .
#2 it's cheating on my wife and although I dont fully feel like shes keeping her end of the deal I'm definitely not keeping mine.
#3after I feel so distant from kedusha halacha hashem.
#4i feel very guilty and end up being snappy and not happy with anything good I do cause its just to get rid of my feelings of worthlessness.
#5 similar to reason 4 it makes me depressed after sad hopeless and not enjoy anything I do whether physically or emotionally.
#6 it takes a long time after to get to a emotionally healthy place.
#7it makes me waste time and not live life while theres so much productive stuff i could do and accomplish.
#8 it makes me feel like the biggest loser ever that cant get his act together.
#9it makes me uninterested in my wife and then our realationship becomes even worse cause now theres no sex drive even.
great work buddy!!!! it is so crucially important to have
our own clarity why we wanna stop why we don't want this, not someone else's clarity, it is vital (for me) to have made that adult decision that this is not something that i want for myself at all costs, it is the foundation of it all, once we have that decision clear (let's be honest were all here for the same intention, stopping to act out...., so it is what we all really want somewhere deep down...) than the struggle is that much easier, there's no more tug of war, yes the yh is here to stay and there will always be a battle, but at the core we are clear that we don't want this for ourselves, we know it and believe it and feel it, so dear lama this list of yours is a helpful tool, let those messages sink in..., and keep it with you for the future when the waters might get a little muddy......,
here's a mirrer hug (i know we all have our chesronos... hugging aint a mirrer trade, although ר' ירוחם has a fiery מאמר on חבוקה ודבוקה בך.....)
kol tuv, and hatzlocha raba!
