I'll tell my friends a little about who I am, in short (more will hopefully follow).
I am a Jew (!) b”H. חרדי. חסידיש (Chasidish).
I grew up, and still live in the Hasidic world, (which I look at today with a different & more positive view than before… I got to GYE/HDA), and I thank G-d that I was born to fruma erlicha parents, and an erlicha ultra Chasidish community, studied in erlicha מוסדות, from top/bottom (all ages & stages)
Somewhere around the age of 12-13, Bar Mitzvah year, a wheel started to turn up and down constantly, when the toy was covered on one's own body, even though I had a feeling that I It's not right, and this is the worst of the worst, but I couldn't help myself,
And constantly (sometimes a few days in a row, sometimes with a break of long weeks or months), happened to play and do things that I didn't really want, but felt some good(!) feeling about it
So until after the wedding, which I married B”H Fine, with a real wife of courage in all respects, thank G-d. but a few months later, everything came back and even more. after a good couple of years, starting to have access To the internet, i started to recognize new things, new ideas, things that I have תאוה to, but I didn’t know its happing in real life, and of course sew/watched ....yeah....things that I was very curious(!) to see, (but didn't really want to… you know that? You or maybe familiar with that inside מלחמות…)
And so things started to get worse......
Until… until…. I discovered the holy site, first/mainly the Jewish site היט דיין אויגן 'Keep Your Eyes' and a little later also here the English site (even its not my language מאמע לשון, (FYI: to this post I used Google Translate…)
And here I stand today with almost 200 days (one day at a time), may God continue to help
I have a long way came till here, and I have a more, biggger, stronger, heavier way to follow up רק בעזרת השם
אייער פריינד
Thanks to hatzadik & Rabby HHM for being the שליח to stay wear I m today, (and say all thanks for @rebakiva to pusing me to this post)