Hello everyone I’m 23 years old and a bochur in bmg. 
I’ve been really struggling for the last few years with p&m and feel horrible and shameful about it yet I feel there is no way out for me. 
it really makes me feel like I’m a complete hypocrite and everything that yiddishkiet means to me must be fake because in such a crucial inyan I am so badly stuck. I really believe this has impacted every area of my life yet I have no control. 
worst off I feel I am so badly down this hole I have absolutely no way out and with life as an adult just beginning I see no future. Do I have the right to go into shidduchim? Is my relationship with my friends, family and most importantly hashem a complete scam?
I just feel utterly hopeless to get out of this mess and to clean this up although I want to so badly
honestly I’m scared to know what help looks like bec it will be extremely uncomfortable figuring out all the reasons I turn to p&m and rewiring  my brain but I really want to give it a real shot and beat this for real
i don’t even know how to go about correcting this problem so if anyone can help me that would be amazing
thanks for reading 

Welcome !

Youre coming with thoughts and feelings so many of us had and BH this forum has taught us that there is HOPE. Hope to break free of this damned menace. Hope to live life without the constant guilt and shame. Hope to be clean, pure, and not constantly white-knuckling. Stick around, learn the ropes, and gain from all the support there is on his forum! Reaching and speaking to others seems to be a super powerful resource here. Many of us would like nothing more than to be of whatever help we can. 

Might I suggest you reach out to Hashem Help Me (michelgelner@gmail.com)? He has helped many, me included. 

Here’s wishing you much sustained success,
Muttel

I would highly recommend that you reach out to HHM at michelgelner@gmail.com 
He's helped many people in your situation and worse. (Myself included!)
Feel free to pm me.
Hatzlocho rabbah!

To add to the list: I was helped by him as well (I can't say I'm fixed but he defiantly sets you on the right path).

Welcome Bachur to the forums. I second the call that the good people here are telling you. Call HHM. Your situation is far from hopeless. There have been many, in situations a lot worse and are now completely clean. I would make a small additional recommendation. As you wrote, you are in BMG, one of our great generals learns in BMG. HE goes by the username Iwannalivereal. Much of what you wrote is very similar to the experience he has gone through. He has helped many people in his own right, is an extremely compassionate individual, will be an amazing friend, and is a great resource for Chizuk and encouragement. There is no substitute for a face to face relationship that you can forge on a daily basis with a person of his caliber. Hatzlacha on your journey.

P.S. If you noticed signs on the bulletin boards of BMG, that offer help in this area, he's the guy behind them. Many have already taken advantage of his offer and broken free, why not join them. 

Welcome! If you're not ready to talk to anyone just yet, you can start by checking out The Battle of the Generation (free ebook) and The Fight (audio series). See below in my signature.

Welcome! My dear friend, I want to just give you such a tight hug! I'm so sorry for the terrible feelings that you feel. I know just what you mean. I was, and still am, in a similar place. And so do so many of us. Perhaps almost all of us. Until we come here and learn how we can break free we really believe there's (almost) no way out. But here you will learn that there is hope. There is help. There are friends. There's a way out for you. I'll second (or third) what the oilam has suggested, that you reach out to HHM. I'll add that reaching out to some others to be your friends, such as muttel,and amevakesh, who have posted above, can make all the difference in your journey.
Please don't go it alone. Reach out. Connect. Stick around. Read some threads. 
Looking forward to seeing you around!

Thank you everyone for caring so much! I know this will be hard but we gotta fight

You’re incredible just for coming here

Welcome to GYE!

As a member of BMG myself, your pain resonates with me on a whole different level. Everything you wrote is super relatable. I remember all too clearly the pain I went through, with the 15 years of struggling I endured.

B'chasdei Hashem I am now just about a year clean, and boy does it feel good!

Looking forward to your success and hatzlacha!

Feel free to reach out to me, my email is in my signature. (And do check out my signs in BMG if you can find them before they get ripped down... the one in the coatroom on the top floor of Bais Yitzchok seems to stay up for a nice while)