Hey just wondering, does anyone else also find some of the threads to be slightly triggering? I don't feel its helpful when a guy is describing a nisayon he went through, and he posts it with all the details about said woman or whatever the nisayon was. Especially for us guys who are struggling/have struggled with these things, a description can very often bring back unwanted thoughts and images. Could be it's just me but wanted to put this out there an see what you guys think. Keep winning!!

I haven't usually found anything triggering but the few times I did I reported them to the moderator. If you find a whole thread triggering then just don't read it. If you find a single description or post triggering you can sometimes request the person posting to reframe those words but generally speaking it is better to report to the moderator.

You're right. Its not that often. Re reporting it to the moderators, after seeing some of the messages that some moderators put out, I don't really have faith that they will understand an issue. Don't want to get in to more detail on forum but you can pm me

I think there is a way to speak and a balance, also personal preference. GYE has all walks of life. I definitely can hear you that some posts have additional details that could be worded differently or left out. 

Basically regurgitating what yitzchokm said, many threads or users can be avoided once you are aware of the content bothering you. 
Some people choose to avoid the forum except for their own personal thread. You can also identify some members that you are ok with and maybe converse on their threads.

If you want to discuss the things that are bothering you in more detail, I'm happy to discuss, via pm if you'd prefer, and see if we can come up with anything that might help. 
Hatzlacha 

Thanks for the response. You raised a good point about the different backgrounds. Do you think though that maybe there should be a standard that people should not cross and the moderators should be on top of?

The moderator is very on top of things and there are posts that get deleted because they are triggering. If you are triggered by many threads of many members then perhaps you aren't struggling as much as most of us are or were and the forum is not for you. See the PM I sent you about this.

For some people it might be triggering and if anyone feels that this place is not helpful for their struggle, they shouldn't be here (I know of a few people that made that decision). 

But for others, journaling is therapeutic. To just write that they fell, doesn't feel the same as describing a bit what they went through. That being said, a person should be cautious not to trigger others (but no need to walk on eggshells if it's letoeles recovery). 

And many times, when a person describes their challenges a bit and then posts how they're standing back up and moving along, it's a tremendous chizzuk for others that are in the mud. 

So basically, of anyone feels it's not for them, it taka isn't. I think the moderators do a fantastic job (speaking from all my encounters with them) and I have much faith in their tireless work. 

Regardless, KOT!

- Yiftach'l 

There are definitely lines that should not be crossed. Between moderators and also members both stepping in, I've seen them speak out against certain posts. Usually the more extreme ones though.
With subtlty and lashon naki, it's usually possible to make a point.

Given the subjects we're dealing with on GYE, I think it would hamper some functionality to be too strict with posting rules in a way that members might feel restricted and not know how to express themselves.

Avi, you are not alone in feeling that some threads are triggering. Just avoid anything that triggers you, my friend. For the writer, there are obvious benefits in sharing. As long as they are not oversharing details, which the moderators decide what is oversharing
How are you doing in these struggles?

Personally, I don't get triggered when people share details (except for some extreme ones) as long as it stays in the vibe of recovery and getting better. 
What really annoys me is when people ask for advice on how to improve their personal bedroom life, it loses the whole feeling of why we are here, and it's usually those threads that I find teasing. I understand that sometimes this is a part of someone's journey to recovery, but I don't think that Gye is a place where you can get personal guidance in this area, and usually, those threads are going totally off track. sometimes, even just the titles of those threads are teasing to me.   
-just my opinion.

crispy wrote on 02 Sep 2024 22:48:

This belongs in the BB forum. Please don't respond to it here.

yitzchokm wrote on 02 Sep 2024 23:18:

Sorry!
If it's unappropriated here. pls ask the mods to delete.

       Yes I do. I posted about this before. 
Basically its up to you to know which threads are helpful to you or not.
       A couple of months ago a specific thread might have really helped me but now it actually could be detrimental. If something starts to trigger you then avoid that thread. I avoid a few myself.

This is what I posted,

Started to realize I was reading certain posts here that could possibly start having negative affects like fantasy and such. Crazy thing is that half a year ago I would have considered these thing so mundane.There's a point I (and maybe others here) have to decide wether reading a post is beneficial or detrimental to overcoming this nisoyon. Everyone is on a different level at different times so a post that would have been beneficial 6months ago can be more harmful now after so much progress to distance ourselves from these thoughts.