brothers! since I got to know this upgraded web site about 10 days ago- I became literally addicted " to stick around you -warm, accepting, non judgemental, hard working -on themselves - people. I got to speak to some. b"h the last few days I am walking around relaxed connected to myself and my feelings. I got to realize that my main struggle and trigger is when I feel bad about my self or when I feel resentment ..... and resentment to me mainly comes from taking personally when someone talks against my family shul community city yidden in general ...all  of that I take it as if he meant me. but b"h the last 10 days I am very conscious about it and I feel much lighter. can you identify?

friends...........I had a slip.... b"h not physically but I bought and watched .......
I know it stems from a very emotional week - I was working so hard.
my trap is WHEN I FALL INTO SELF PITY.... this is what happened because my son changed yeshivah and is miserable
and rightfully so.
people help me stay strong 

relaxed wrote on 30 Aug 2024 04:28:

I feel for you my friend, falls are painful. Recognizing why you fell is a good thing for the future. Please don't let it get at you because that is the YH trying to get you to fall again. Hatzlacha Raba. Good Shabbos.

I am an amazing rabbi. I am considered by all of my students to be THE BEST RABBI. and the reason behind it is because I'm really interesting and exciting. and I show real care and understanding to every child. b"h since my teenage years I don't struggle with hoitzuas zera levatule. what I do struggle is with fomo and a bit of porn. b"h not too much since I don't have access to computers that  are unfiltered. so what IS my problem. I have low self esteem and I give all to my students but it is NOT from a healthy place. its from a place of not being able to say the word NO. so I become every few days DOWN and then I will daven just to be over and guess what? I never enjoy my life because I over think or I WORRY ALWAYS for the future. if I have some errands or  I woke up late - that is very often- I just daven 123 AND IT IS SO NOT ME I am a very emotional person by nature that is never happy and wants clarity in life and wants to grow constantly.  I don't remember my learning although I know every politician and all of history by heart. because I never get the point BECAUSE I AM NEVER FOCUSED. and one special problem that gets me into the dirt is - that I TAKE EVERYTHING TO HEART. so when someone will tell me some comment on my family community shul klal yisroel I become SO DOWN. and this is the pattern that makes me check out every famous women's life and image and from time to time to call up all sorts of hot lines. And turn to dirt.  I would love to hear back from amazing people on this holy website.