Welcome, Guest

Hard time keeping myself motivated
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: Hard time keeping myself motivated 416 Views

Re: Hard time keeping myself motivated 30 Jul 2024 03:28 #418037

  • proudyungerman
  • Current streak: 323 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 450
  • Karma: 25
yidddd wrote on 30 Jul 2024 02:00:
After keeping it going for 47 days, I fell. Yesterday was one of those days, the urges were just incredibly tough, and then I found myself in front of a computer with an bypassable filter with no one home. All the work went out the window and for the next while I just indulged.
I left the house and went shopping, and just cried. I didn't know what to do with myself.
And now, I am home again and I want to indulge so badly. If anyone sees this, could use some chizzuk. As jewizard21 said - I am trying to tell myself ODAAT, but my yetzer hora is sitting there telling me if I mess up today there is no streak anyway...

That is a tremendous accomplishment, as you may have read in the book The Battle of the Generation. (If not, check it out!)

Have you considered reaching out to anyone? Many people here have found it to be a very powerful tool on this fight. 
(If you are ready, or at least close enough to make the jump, I would recommend starting with Hashem Help Me - HHM - as he is the mentor-in-chief around here. He has helped hundreds, present company included. He is reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com. Some of the other wonderful people here are amevakesh (PM), eerie 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel  Muttel15@gmail.com.)

The main thing is to...
KOMT!
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: Hard time keeping myself motivated 30 Jul 2024 03:39 #418038

  • jewizard21
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 127
  • Karma: 5
I'm sorry to hear that your streak is over and your having a ruff time with it.

Ask yourself, why does a streak matter?
Learn from your mistakes. You regret what you have done and yah it sucks that we have to deal with what we do, but what's our purpose in fighting the yetzer harah?

If we fall once in a long while then we are winning overall, but of we tell ourselves "oh it's only 1 time and it's been so long, or, I just fell anyway" then the y'h is winning.

It's our job to get back up. Yah, ODAAT is an extremely helpful tool we use to win in the long run, but also remember the goal to be a better person living a life with our minds clear and in control. I'm sure you can notice how much clearer your mind is after 47 amazing days, now think of how much clearer it will be in another 47 and beyond.

I hope this helps
"The best filter is the one you don't test"-Dov
Dov talks audio library:
guardyoureyes.com/tools/kosher-isle/shiurim/category/dov-s-recovery-talks

My Introduction:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412126-Me
Last Edit: 30 Jul 2024 03:43 by jewizard21.

Re: Hard time keeping myself motivated 30 Jul 2024 23:37 #418146

  • yidddd
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 0
Just want to update that BH did not fall yesterday. This is something special as in the past, a fall always meant a few day/week rut.

Thanks foolie/ jewizard21 for pointing out that streaks don't matter - you kept me going and now I have a 2 day streak in the making!
Last Edit: 30 Jul 2024 23:40 by yidddd. Reason: Fix mispelling

Re: Hard time keeping myself motivated 28 Aug 2024 01:05 #420221

  • yidddd
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 0
Hey everyone!
After going through a bingfest of P & M for last few weeks basically non stop...I finally caught myself just in time. I entered one of my trusted websites that the filter doesn't quite know about and before hitting enter, I switched to GYE. Spent the last hour or so reading posts, and am convincing my mind its time to come back to living....
I am currently running on a streak of almost the whole day, and that is largely only because I do work for a living... but even without streaks, its time to come back. I can't live like I have been living. Its been hard on my marriage, I'm constantly looking for time to hide away, I can't concentrate at work, have not been giving my kids attention, and in general, just been craving non-stop. 
This is not the way I want to live.
So, tonight, I did not watch anything, I did not masturbate, and I will not.

Re: Hard time keeping myself motivated 28 Aug 2024 12:07 #420251

  • yidddd
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 0
yidddd wrote on 28 Aug 2024 01:05:
Hey everyone!
After going through a bingfest of P & M for last few weeks basically non stop...I finally caught myself just in time. I entered one of my trusted websites that the filter doesn't quite know about and before hitting enter, I switched to GYE. Spent the last hour or so reading posts, and am convincing my mind its time to come back to living....
I am currently running on a streak of almost the whole day, and that is largely only because I do work for a living... but even without streaks, its time to come back. I can't live like I have been living. Its been hard on my marriage, I'm constantly looking for time to hide away, I can't concentrate at work, have not been giving my kids attention, and in general, just been craving non-stop. 
This is not the way I want to live.
So, tonight, I did not watch anything, I did not masturbate, and I will not.

Just wanted to say, BH I was successful last night and did not have a fall. I hope I can keep this going...
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2024 12:08 by yidddd.
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
Time to create page: 0.37 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes