yidddd wrote on 30 Jul 2024 02:00:
After keeping it going for 47 days, I fell. Yesterday was one of those days, the urges were just incredibly tough, and then I found myself in front of a computer with an bypassable filter with no one home. All the work went out the window and for the next while I just indulged.
I left the house and went shopping, and just cried. I didn't know what to do with myself.
And now, I am home again and I want to indulge so badly. If anyone sees this, could use some chizzuk. As jewizard21 said - I am trying to tell myself ODAAT, but my yetzer hora is sitting there telling me if I mess up today there is no streak anyway...
That is a tremendous accomplishment, as you may have read in the book The Battle of the Generation. (If not, check it out!)
Have you considered reaching out to anyone? Many people here have found it to be a very powerful tool on this fight.
(If you are ready, or at least close enough to make the jump, I would recommend starting with Hashem Help Me - HHM - as he is the mentor-in-chief around here. He has helped hundreds, present company included. He is reachable at
michelgelner@gmail.com. Some of the other wonderful people here are amevakesh (PM), eerie
1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel
Muttel15@gmail.com.)
The main thing is to...
KOMT!