Hello everyone!
Foremost, I would like to express my gratitude to those who have started this project. And respect to those who use (or used) it to achieve purity and closeness to Hashem.
I 23 and I am B'T. I have never had any problems with kedusho until I met my first girlfriend. We lived together with all benefits. Then I had realized that I have to live according to halocho and we split. But before we broke up, I felt that I need more variants of "excitement" than just a relationship with my gf. So I started to feel urges. Almost every week. Now I study in yeshiva (it's about a year today) and I still have this problem. Only now I feel like I have to relief myself almost every day. It depends on the difficulty of the day.
I have read lots of stories here of holy men struggling with such problem. The thing that horrifies me is that some of those men are married. I am really afraid that my problem will continue after I start a family.
My usual strategy is to busy my head so much that I really can not think of something else. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. I do not really smile anymore, and I have lost the joy of performing mitzvos. And in fact I am not interested in perfoming them as I feel like I am a rosho and have no future.
I am just trying to be free of it, but I can't.
Would love to hear some words of chizuk.
Have a meaningful time of sefirat haomer. And remember why you are here.

Wow, powerful words. I’m new here too, and can tell you there’s a ton of love and support here for this struggle we all face. 

keep your chin up Tzaddik, you have a bright future ahead of you!

we’re rooting for you,
Muttel

It is great that you made your first post.

A person has to strive to be better but he also has to take pride in his achievements. Since you are a Baal Teshuva you must have went through a long difficult journey to get to were you are today. The fact that you struggle in the one area of kedusha doesn't minimize any of your accomplishments in all other areas. In addition, you broke up with a girlfriend in order to be holy which is not a simple feat. It is the Yetzer Hora who is trying to convince you that you are wicked and therefore there is no hope and you should give up on everything. It is distorted thinking and he isn't doing justice to who you are as a person. I suggest that you read appendix A of the book The Battle of the Generation as it addresses the feelings that you posted. Here is the link to the e-book: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

You are on GYE for almost a year already. Have you done the Flight to Freedom program? Are you regularly reading The Battle of the Generation?  Are you struggling with anything other than P&M? 

I suggest that you reach out to the main mentor, Hashem Help Me, at michelgelner@gmail.com and share your struggles with him. He has helped many people including myself and you won't regret it. Keep on posting and sharing and make friends.

Welcome! Courageous post!
As I have come to learn, GYE is the best place for this. 
You can break free! 
Read around on the forum, there's a lot of great stuff there.
The chevra here is really warm and accepting, so whenever you're ready, take the plunge and reach out. 
You won't regret it. (HHM is amazing, chaimoigen, and eerie are also great.)