Dear Proudyungerman and Foolie I am just an innocent in-towner and I have absolutely no clue what the WCA is
!!! Definitely appreciate the traffic on my forum but actually sounding like some road rage.... But then again could just  be some out-of-towners way of having fun .On to chopped liver the oilam already decided it's Yitz's chopped and Kaplan's sautéed. ("vehameiven yavin"). Now to Chaimoigan reaching over to grasp your outstretched hand feeling the grip tightening. Although we never spoke i did have time over bein hazmanim to skim over your forum. It was definitely mechazek me tremendously and I do feel some sort of connection albeit a somewhat superficial one. I do intend to one day work on connecting on a more personal level when the time allows for us to. Thanks for positive energy that is always behind every one of your amazing posts. Stay tuned chevra for future updates. #onmywaybackhome
-Yaakov from Yerushalaim    

ongaurd247 wrote on 27 May 2024 17:40:

For your edification the WCA is Who Cares Anonymous 

Hi everyone 
I grew up in normal home without any struggled backgrounds bh but somehow as a young as 10-11 I already had urges and fantasies I loved touching other boys and couldnt resist by the age of 15 their was a speech in Yeshiva regarding this topic and I finally found out that this is something very bad and I cant keep on doing it (I knew till then that it is wrong but didnt know that its really that bad) however even though I stopped physically the fantasies were still there all the time although I was very uneducated about it all i didnt know about mz''l. by the age of 16 I went to a yeshiva abroad the problem started as there was days off when all the boys went home and I stayed very lonely I had friends that got me  in to movies and the urges and fantasies just started getting stronger and then sadly I had a few friends that got me educated with all the details that got me to start mz''l every time I was alone and so it continued got engaged, married, and had a child but every other day I would just fail and not keep myself back.
I really tried hard belive me all my devices are filtered but then I found a way around I took on kabolas I davened I begged hashem but I continued living this secret bad life when I saw a few days ago on YWN status about GYE I decided this is my chance to get help with out paying hefty prices and without revealing my problems to anyone knowing me so thank you very much for giving me this opportunity, and I beg of hashem to give me סייעתא דשמיא to help get out of my mess ASAP  

Coop wrote on 30 May 2024 10:13:

Hey Dear!

Welcome and kudos to you for taking this courageous step of reaching out for help. Theres a lot of amazing threads on this site, you might want to check out the Balei Battim's Forums. Try doing to 90 day count. 

Stick around and connect with the poeple.

Wishing you lots of luck,

Hey all! This is my first time, and I'm so happy to finally have a place to hopefully get the help I need. I'm married with 4 kids, went to all the "right" yeshivos, and.....have been struggling with SSA since I was young. My computers are filtered and I have a flip phone, but I found a number I can call for free that lets my fantasies run wild. Never had anyone to talk to and I need help desperately! I keep giving in and feel so bad about it I just want OUT ALREADY!

HELP!!!! I'm being hijacked I might need to call upon my out of town friends (proudyungerman,Foolie) to bring their firearms. In all seriousness welcome to Coop and Sunnnyhawk (any relation just curious) the chevra here is second to none and as i was told after my first post "stick around and you'll see instant and long term changes in your life I plead with you to do the same. I would recommend you opening your own thread as more guys here would see you starting out thereby giving you the best chance for the right chizuk and true eitzos. 

Now just wanted to share a couple of experiences over the past few weeks. It has been unbearably hot here in yerushalaim ever since I returned from pesach bein hazmanim. Now trust me when i say this that until this year i absolutely loved and waited for these hot summer months as my mind and body  just craved all that the hot weather brought along with it (trying to be as trigger free as possible). Then this year arrived and i absolutely hated ( note the past tense) this weather as i felt trapped and helpless. "There is no way I can do this" I thought,  as my body just cant realistically control the immense temptation of every lust-triggering "item" that comes within 100 foot radius (i wish it was just that amount of space) of my never satisfied self. But amazingly through speaking to a couple of friends here (shoutout to my local yerushalmi chaver!!!) I have come a long way from despising the situation that I am in. Now don't get me wrong there is no part of me that is asking for this to be my daily experience but i have come to mindset of "bring it on" or "I got this" mentality. How??? Well for starters "The Book" (The Battle of the Generation for all those that are still unaware) has helped me tremendously with this approach maybe a different time I'll be more specific. It just changed my mindset on this whole struggle and got me out of the mud of some sorts. I'd like to share one personal practical tip that I use when faced with a head on possible struggle and I'm curious if anyone has used it for themselves and maybe some of you out there can try it for yourself and report back. Now this is only for those who read the book but you might be able to "shtel tzu" the same idea with something else even if you haven't read the book yet. Here goes, when I'm faced with an impending difficult situation especially in the streets I think in my mind "this is the struggle of the generation".  Now this has a twofold effect on me. Firstly, I dont beat myself up for even having this struggle and yes as of now lots of times there are still "two tzdadim" should I or shouldn't I. Secondly, and i feel even greater effect it has on me is when I'm thinking of this its a trigger of sorts to many of the ideas and tips that are brought down in this amazing book and my brain just transforms me into the zone of a warrior and that i will triumph over this struggle just this one time. I know I'm being a bit mekatzer but hope the oilam gets my drift. I feel that I must share this as it is so helpful for me and hope for someone out there it can have similar results.  
One last thing, I would like to thank R Chaimoigan, whom even though I have never personally spoken to, but it's "begeder chavrah dechavrah is lay" (for now), and I definitely get chizzuk from your posts. Especially, the one I read recently on (I think) Muttel's thread about thinking one is missing out when not giving in to his temptations. Thats all for now chevra I appreciate you all being there for me!!!!
-yaakov from yerushalaim

Hi all! Just an update on my stats, not sure where to post this but I guess this is a good start. Not sure if this is a little premature but BH I'm heading into day 10 clean BH!!!!!! I've reached this before but there's a huge difference this time, I feel like a different person on the inside, I hope it lasts and not just from being on a high. HUGE SHOUT OUT TO "Hashem Help Me" and "crabapple" (whos not so crabby by the way, he's still putting up with me) for being there for me on this journey so far, I would not have been here without you.
Reading everyone else's posts in the forums (and there's a LOT to read) shows me how there are so many different battles out there and while my battle seemed totally impossible to overcome, (bli ayin hara not that I won the war yet but I'm definitely winning a few battles!), just reading about others battles makes me humbled. I would totally fall apart in their shoes, I admire you and look up to you for getting up again and for trying (and trucking) again and again, you're all just amazing!
One thing I personally am into is getting to the root of the issue. I had a pretty normal upbringing in a normal neighborhood but circumstances out of my control made me form habits and needs for over 20 years that I couldn't overcome. Not going into detail now, maybe one day BeH. Just knowing this I hope is going to help me tremendously to reprogram my way of thinking and my body to fulfill it's needs.
I am having these sad lonely "withdrawal" (if you want to call it that) feelings from not giving in to my urges, and Im nervous to go through yom tov without being able to see and get chizuk from others....please daven for me.
Bye for now
Flyin like a Hawk

Love it!!!! mazel tov on these ten days!!!!!! Keep 'em comin'!!!

Muttel

sunnyhawk83 wrote on 09 Jun 2024 12:30:

My suggestion- try to connect with hashem if possible.  וטהר לבנו לעבדך באמת is extremely powerful if you can say it with complete honesty.  If you can do that you will be excited to go through yomtov.  Power up with your friends before yomtov.  Understand the greatness of who you are and what you are accomplish. Iyh you will go in on a high and come out even higher. 

best wishes
vehkam

I flew the coop. If I change my username will all my messages be deleted?
Thanks loads for the chizuk, I truly look up to you guys, Totally amazing what you're doing.
Flyin like a hawk (If I can't change my name to something boring)

Thanks vehkam definitely took that to heart....really beautiful. Another tefilah that gives me chizzuk is in u'va litzion... שָׁמְרָה זֹּאת לְעוֹלָם, לְיֵֽצֶר מַחְשְׁבוֹת לְבַב עַמֶּֽךָ, וְהָכֵן לְבָבָם אֵלֶֽיךָ. וְהוּא רַחוּם, יְכַפֵּר עָוֹן וְלֹא יַשְׁחִית, וְהִרְבָּה לְהָשִׁיב אַפּוֹ, וְלֹא יָעִיר כָּל חֲמָתוֹ. כִּי אַתָּה אֲדֹ-י טוֹב וְסַלָּח, וְרַב חֶֽסֶד לְכָל קֹרְאֶֽיךָ.
-R' Muttel, you and the gang were all in my tefilos over yom tov....BH I was clean....but Im getting that down feeling....bleh

My friend, how are you?
How's the hot summer in Yerushalayim treating you now?
Please rejoin us...

Hey there stranger.... Well B"H I am doing amazing although my absence from this most wonderful site might lend one to think otherwise. As to the Israeli summer let us just say that today was the first day in a long time that it didn't manage to hit 90. As I just read in Yiftach's post the importance of friends I do thank you again for reaching out. Interestingly, Iyuv had three friends if I'm mistaken, and according to R' Chaim (Schmulevitz) if he would've been able to survive with one "lchoyrah" the satan should've been allowed to kill 2/3. That being said I'd like to once again thank my close friends that I have made here  (yes IWLR maybe one day I'll be invited over too) for helping me along this journey I call life. As R' Chaimoigan states time and again "connection is the opposite of addiction". I will be iy"h be  upstate for Av so hope to broaden my friends circle then... So long for now.
-Yaakov from a blustery Yerushalaim