Day 473

Been battlin' urges the last couple days...
Spent some time last night engagin' in some (pathetic) lust. 
Pretty sure I know that it's comin' from stress in my life (along with the other random pains that have been occuring...)

Was feelin' pretty down today.

Postin' here for some accountability and to get it out of my system.

Darn it, just did it again.
Gotta get a grip.
(And get to sleep earlier. Alone time late at night is dangerous.)

proudyungerman wrote on 02 May 2025 05:44:

Once upon a midnight dreary 
while I pondered, weak and weary….

                 … Quoth the PY- NEVERMORE 

YEAH. It’s an unfortunate Emes that when the rational brain is exhausted and healthy emotions are completely depleted, there’s far less resistance to urges that well up, especially those rooted in feelings of despondency and emotional malaise. Been there…

Throwing in the towel early (and maybe getting up early) helps a lot.

Andvthe new day has light on the horizon…

Eyes to the east,
Hang tight- 
Shabbos is coming, babe, 
 Here’s a hug, 

chaimoigen

At the risk  of stating the obvious, lest anyone think otherwise. We're talking about a guy who is very far from what GYE considers a fall, and perhaps even a slip. Real growth, is when the more subtle slips are considered big, and not being embarrassed to post them, so they don't become bigger. Pure inspiration!!!

Day 476

BH so far so good since Thursday night.
Situation hasn't hanged, hopefully my reaction to it will continue to hold up.

I want to thank everyone who reached out to check up on me, I was really touched.
Real friends make all the difference.

I want to share a win from Friday.
I was in the store quite close to Shabbos and when I walked in to the store there was a nice looking girl who I was about to walk past. I went back and forth in my mind if I should look at her with lust and BH, with help from the TBOTG mentality that I've been working on for quite a while (shout out to my two special chaverim who let me join their TBOTG group!) I decided not to. As I passed her, I saw it was someone I know. Boy was I happy with my decision!