So I'm...worried.  The one who didn't agree to a filter is being insistent that he doesn't want anything blocked at all on his profile, and he's already had trouble with games he wants to play,,,I tried to explain this to customer support and they gave me a vague answer that they had opened "many categories" for him...he's gone till after chag so at least for a week we'lll have a good-quality filter, but if he loses patience I'll have to remove Techloq and look for something more to his taste.

What surprised me was how excited this all makes me...I've wanted a filter for a long time, put it off out of fear of...exactly what's happening...I feel free xD

Must go; let me know what y'all think

truthaintflashy wrote on 18 Apr 2024 15:21:

You took a tremendous step, congratulations! Bask in that joyous freedom, man. You earned it.


This is the YH flopping around like a dying fish.
There are a couple different practical solutions for you to take, as I see it. But the first step is to daven. This obstruction is a nisayon that (like every nisayon) hashem could remove in the blink of an eye. 

You can either:

1.  "Confess" to this roomate that you have a problem you need the extra help with.
   
   1. I don't know if this will help or hurt. It depends on your relationship with him, what type of person he is etc. But if in your judgment he will stop pushing back when you tell him that, and have no worries he would shame/blackmail you, then maybe this is a good option. You obviously don't have to tell him everything. Just that you personally need the extra shemira. Who knows, maybe it will encourage him to be mchazek in shmiras einayim.
2. Stop using the communal computer.
   
   1. If you need internet, and can afford it, perhaps it's safer for you to never use that one and purchase a personal, heavily filtered, device for personal use. This could very well backfire by giving you a private device (even with filters) and the only way I'd recommend it at all is if you keep it in the same open area as the other computer (maybe even buy a non-portable desktop). Maybe even just donate a second, kosher, communal computer. If price is an issue, check out micro center refurbished computers which are excellent quality for the price.
3. Make this guy buy his own computer.
   
   1. If everyone wants a filter, than why should the group's ruchniyos suffer for him? Ask a posek this, but I'd bet a lot of money that he has to go after the majority, or even the minority, for something like this. I like this option much better than #2. But if he's going to kick up a huge fight, perhaps just be mevater and go with #2.
4. Work through the technical issues. 
   
   1. Yeah Techloq customer service can get annoying for something like this, but if you sit with them on the phone, you should be able to make it work unless his games use actual porn (it's not unlikely that the real issue is something like this). The issue will be when he finds something else to nitpick about.

Regardless, enjoy the joy of filtering! This is so appropriate for pesach and may you go from strength to strength.

Sounds like אוי לרשע, אוי לשכנו. I don't have the solution but stay strong in your commitment to be a holy Jew.

bs''d thank you for the suggestions

אוי לרשע וכו
I'm trying not to jump to conclusions about him...the fact is he has a contrarian personality and will often take the opposite side of an argument for its own sake.  It's possible after Pesach he'll soften up if I don't force the issue.

As far as getting my own computer...no, it's not wise xD I have weak moments where the thing that protects me is the location of the computer.  

Weighing the other options...he knows that without restrictions I use the computer way more than I should for my own mental let alone spiritual health, and I don't hide my past issues.

As far as the "majority want a filter" the issue is that really just the two of us have any inclination to use the computer...the rest succeed in staying far away.

I don't know, it's complicated, and I'm not sure if he genuinely wants what he says (unrestricted internet)...We'll see what the customer support people say too; it's still unclear what their stance will be on a case like this...maybe they'll give him what he asked for, G-d protect us all...

Does anyone know whether Gentech is a better solution in this case?

yitzchokm wrote on 18 Apr 2024 23:09:

I asked them and they said they can do what he asked.  I'm still a bit unsure if they alow multiple profiles within a single user, but if need be we can probably set up multiple users (something I've never done on a Windows device xD) with some sort of timed logout/lock.

Still hoping he'll tolerate the current filter.

Quietly hiding what happened in my three month absence xD Probably weeks-worth of time spent gaming and feeling guilty about it.  bs''d maybe I'll finally get a life...

I saw a comic once (not recommended to seek it out) where someone's parent catches them engaging in shallow opinion-sharing online, and "punished" them to spend six months admiring nature while reading literary classics...then they have the following thought-bubble:  "This is so fulfilling, and yet I will stop the first moment I can."

You're amazing that you pushed through to get the filter set up even though you had opposition and difficulties!!

Techloq should be able to have the other guy's profile open to almost everything... So you can have the main user profile, no need to password protect, this will be restricted by the filter, and this is the one you use. And the second user, with a password, for that guy, with almost nothing blocked.

Hatzlacha!

OK, today's the big day, he's back home and (possibly) awake...praying we'll all the patience and insight to reach the best resolution for all involved. 

Much hatzlacha on problem-solving this issue!

Hm.  Well, so far so good...he seems to have quietly decided to stop watching the movies.  At least he isn't taking the "principled stand" against the filter that I was afraid of.  bs''d time to keep praying, working on seeing the neshama behind the person, and not to start any arguments.

Happy to get an email from Techloq that it's been almost a month   Still no arguments, though someone decided to lecture me for over an hour on how I shouldn't expect people to accomodate my values...I don't know...I think for someone who really believes in their way of life it's important to find and stick with company that will support that way of life.  If you value your health and are trying to quit smoking, and someone knows that and keeps offering you a cigarette anyway...something has to give.  We can't expect ourselves to be "strong" all the time in the face of temptation (and in particular peer pressure) let alone all day long at home or at work.  I don't even want to be that kind of "strong"...smells more like trauma than strength.

rant-y, hope it makes sense.

b''h doing well...compulsively check email and hamodia and end up reading stuff on breslev.com or on the forum here....overall my screen time is down significantly though.

I still have a problem of sitting staring at the screen..."Reshaim yoshvim v'nehenim miziv hamasakh"...though I discovered at some point that the hanaah just seems like it's connected to the screen; it's the joy of being alive...may we all merit.

oy vey, it's 1am and I work in a few hours...how did I get here...

1. Despite the filter finding endless sources of content...this forum and other torah stuff b''h but still.
2. My own brand of journaling...maybe it would be better to just write an actual journal, save myself the light of the screen.
3. Chess application, playing against the computer.

Once I get carried past ~11pm the chair gets awfully cozy and it's hard to get up, brush teeth, go to bed...

So if I were counting days (hmm...) I would call this a fall, and a fairly serious one.  Not sure whether to address with internal or external work.  Just removed the shortcut to the chess app at least...if I want it I'll have to find it.

...OK well first-aid is that I'm going to sleep now.  Happy Lag BaOmer to all

Hi, PM me if you want a practical tool to help you get to sleep earlier. From your words, it seems it can be helpful...