The letter "L" in HALT is for "Loneliness."

I'm going to assume that's a big book/aa reference. could you please explain (or do some explainin')

If i use a unfiltered device right now, i wont have the ability to stay clean. I cant make a choice to ‘drink like a gentleman‘ 

but i can decide to not use the device. 
and thanks to my partner @abieham i also have to think if using it is worth my having to go for a 40+ minute walk to nowhere. 

so now the playing field is a little more even, my neshama is telling me to not use the device. My nefesh behamis is telling me that there's nothing wrong with using it for a valid reason. But then my lazy tuches remembers that if i use it i have to go on the walk...

as the inside of my beer bottle cap  just informed me, luck is hard work residue.

ainshumyeiush wrote on 13 Oct 2023 03:31:

Great stuff! Keep it up.

I got an uber today and the driver had a well used copy of the a-anon book in the car. We had a very nice talk about the third step which has always thrown me off. 
i had previously understand it to mean some sort of fatalistic abandonment of ones self. That we should totally negate our existence for one of being ‘puppets of hashem‘ and i couldn't bring myself to do that.
she explained it to me to mean that we should "turn our will and our lives over to the care of God" as ourselves. I am me and i have my existence, however whenever there is a conflict between my will and hashems will, i turn my will over to Him and do what He wants.
i hope i explained it clearly the way i was told  

The zman starts tomorrow. And this has been one serious Bein hazmanim. Yes i fell a few times but compared to every other time, the difference is huge. 
i dont know what this zman will bring, but im going in knowing that i have a plan. 

if anybody knows of a filtered internet cafe in Lakewood that lets gye please let me know. Thanks and good luck to all

Amazing seeing your success, great way to start the zman.

Try outworq or something. Upstairs from Bagel Nosh ..

As most of you are aware, the zman started. 
on one hand, its easier for me now. I dont have devices lying around that i have to avoid. Now my focus is on making sure i dont get access to a device. So its not as constant of a fight.
on the other hand, now that im back in town, i have to be careful with watching my eyes on the streets. Bein hazmanim that's not as big of a concern.
i also have to figure out when i can read the battle of the generation and the aa book now that i have roommates around. 
same war different battle i guess.

There is nothing incriminating in the book. Every situation is different but many have been able to read unapologetically saying they are working on shmiras ainayimbb

Its more of a question of when i have a quiet moment than of being seen reading it

ainshumyeiush wrote on 15 Oct 2023 03:19:

I suspect the Zman will bring unbelievable growth in all areas!
KEEP ON SHTEIGING!!!!

Missing the tumul, and my old seat, I am
respectfully yours,

Chaim Oigen

Honestly hate the tumult. Was thinking about posting on here to see which other ‘top guys‘ needed a chavrusa...

ainshumyeiush wrote on 18 Oct 2023 02:57:

Dont think anyone enjoys it-
thats the only thing from my days in Bmg that I dont miss

Im having a bit of a tough time dealing with being back in yeshiva this zman. There's always the social pressures, new chavrusas, and trying to stay focused during seder.
but this time around i cant go running to social media, non Jewish music and porn to get my mind off the pressures. 
and i have much more down time then i thought i would, especially at night. But bezrat hashem next week ill have a job for a few hours a night to get to take a step away in a healthy manner. But i really hope this gets easier.

Make a list of things to do with your free time