I'm new to this community and I love it with oilem over here. I've realized that we are all in the same boat and its normal. I've been struggling with looking on non kosher sites and it just got worse and worse and ended up looking at really bad movies etc r"l. I've managed to minimize looking to 2 to3 times a year. But it was always in back of my mind. boroch Hashem I got the courage to talk a relative who directed me to to this site and cant wait to just keep climbing.

welcome buddy!

you are not alone, there is a chevra here stick around.. look around.... and wishing you all the best!

I live the energetic life you bring, surely you’ll have what to gain but likewise the other way as well, you may be helping others as you Stan speak up!

Yes my friends it is normal to struggle.
On a personal note, for the last ove the last little while, I have had lots of lust but BH I was able to take a step back for a second and say, what is going on?
I BH took a step back and stopped
It is very hard to step when the feeling is so strong.
It feels like you being led into the lions den without any power to run away.

Its hard 

But we are in a huge pandemic, worse than covid. 

Whe you feel yourself in a stressful situation like me, try to take a step back and see if watching porn will help. It will for those few minutes until you catch yourself. 

So please hang in there 

EYES

You're absolutely amazing! Remember, you're not struggling alone! Keep posting, we want to see your success.

Welcome to the family, brother! We are your friends and brothers here, we care about you, and we want to hear from you. There are many great things to learn here, and many great people to connect to, so stick around and learn the ropes. And share whatever is on your mind! Keep trucking, onward and upward!

But what if your temptations are not normal?

noshimnosher wrote on 09 May 2023 00:30:

Can you please define normal?

Hi everyone, 
I want to add to what I wrote before.
Dov wrote on another forum that these types of things are not normal and that we cant normalize these things. He is right. 

Do we have lusts? okay but how do we deal with it.

Is it okay to look at porn?
look at pictures?
Other things?

As Dov mentioned these things are not normal, and if we make them as normal, then we are just giving hot air chizzuk. This forum is not to make people feel good to what they are doing is okay.

To give an example, if my wife found out that I watched or saw something inappropiate she would ............ (not Sure).

If someone is here on the site and opens up to people, they need to be really specific to where they are holding.

are they holding at small falls and just need a kick in the pants to set him straight again or is it someone who is G-D forbid much deeper and may need a good therapist to help them get back on track.

If someone is here to post and truly be true with themselves and others. post the whole story, but it out on a platter and say it how it is. Dont look for a bandaid. 

sometimes its chizzuk 
sometimes its a therapist.

If you really want to flesh it out, then say it all.

Call out to EERIE, DOV, NOSHINMASHER & FOOLIE

Hi friends! 
The discussion about what is considered normal has happened many, many times on the forums, and there is no real way of answering the question, as each person defines normal differently, probably based on what works best for him.   
I would like to point out to my dear friend Eyes that normal and ok are two different things. It is normal for a person to want to eat a delicious looking non-kosher food, but for us, as Jews, it is not ok. I believe that when Reb 8th day Ha'oimed ( surely inspired by the holy days of Chanukah:)) wrote that he realized that his struggles are normal, he meant that it is the normal human condition to desire these things and there is nothing deficient with his mind or heart in that he desires these things. He most definitely did not mean that it's ok to DO these things, or that it's ok to fantasize about these things, for if so why would he be here? 
That being said, I do think it is important to realize that most things that we struggle with are part of the human condition to desire, and the fact that we have those desires is normal. It is not ok, but it is normal, and we have to work on ourselves

Just to be clear I was not insinuating that anyone’s temptations in this matter are normal, normal being a subjective term to begin with. To be certain I don’t feel my temptations are normal, and having come up with a solution to my temptations I still don’t feel “normal” as a matter of fact I feel more like an outlier than I did before, was my solution unique to me yes, am I the outlier I truly believe I am probably not. That doesn’t change the fact that none of this is normal 

could not of said it better and that's what I meant. thank you. (my name is a play on that I am a musician. and שבע יפול צדיק וקם)

Glad to know I'm not the only musician here! Music is a powerful tool.