To Reb Eerie,
The emotions are running high, and you know why,
Don't have more time to write any more...
Good Shabbos

Ditto

From a heart wider then the Grand Canyon, filled to the brim with אהבת ישראל, emerges a wellspring of love for every type of Jew. It flows in twin rivers through two warm, shining, caring eyes into the hearts of those he comes in contact with. The warmth that emanates from those holy eyes, is eclipsed only by the thousand watt smile that illuminates his entire being. A man whose radiant countenance exudes love, acceptance and understanding. 

Our souls connected in a very deep and meaningful way over the course of the past year. One thing was missing - “The hug”. To be wrapped by strong arms in a powerful embrace by the great man himself, the one who spreads his warmth and has place in his heart for everyone of us, was a feeling I will carry in my heart forever. 

מים רבים לא יוכלו לכבות את האהבה

מבקש

Dearest friend, and dearest friends, these past few days have been so amazing, I literally don't have the words. Mevakesh, I feel myself saying the same words about you. It was absolutely amazing. Surreal.
And then meeting the guys by the bris. WOW! I am still not sure it really happened. It was unreal. A dream. To meet and hug these special people, ovdei Hashem b'emes, it was out of this world. Each and every guy I met is such a special person! It was a little crazy of us, and like Reb CO, I debated whether I should come. (I didn't daven shachris there so nobody who shouldn't would figure out my name:)) In the end I couldn't resist. And I am so happy I did it. These friendships are the most real ones out there, and actually meeting and shmoozing was just over the top. 
Rabbosai, T'was swell, and now, let's get on with putting out some fires!

eerie wrote on 23 Aug 2024 02:52:

It sounds like you guys had a h..l of a party, it seems like some invitations got lost in the mail.

I don't want to keep spoiling parties, so I'll write it here.

I think it's a combination of CO's post and my own. Any guy reading here about how powerful the friendships are, and he hasn't done so yet, has got to understand what it really is supposed to be if we'd want there to be a chance that he reach out and connect. He has to know that it's ok to avoid GYE conventions. (Though I doubt there's another one coming soon:)) He has to know that he doesn't need 50 friends, and he doesn't have to follow every private joke on GYE to be able to break free. 
And he has to know that anything he shares will remain confidential. Always. No matter to who. 

And really all of the friends that have reached out already should feel the same. Your privacy, your location, your details, your Yeshiva, and definitely your number, should only be seen by the people you have shared them with. I know that I need to up my vigilance in this area. 

As an aside, when I make a chasuna beH, you are all invited! There'll be a table with a sign "secret friends". Please make yourselves comfortable. Monogrammed ski masks will be distributed. Please do not ask anyone their name. Not even their username. 

eerie wrote on 23 Aug 2024 17:31:

Will the Chosson be wearing a ski mask too ? Kalla wearin' a monogrammed veil?
The Mechitin (Mechutan??)?
The bus driver, for the bus you rent to bring us all to the שמחה?

I'd like to share some thoughts on the issue of confidentiality, especially after discussing it with one of the very special people here

We already mentioned how we should never share somebody else's:

• ​Phone numbers
• Locations
• Positions
• Struggles
• Really any details about the person's life

But, There is another level to this.
Many times people post, or share offline, things that give away details about others. For example, you live in Kalamazoo, lucky you. And someone comes to visit to give a concert.  And you meet. And you post about it. Is that person ok with you sharing that? Or you shared that you're going to give a concert in Kalamazoo, and then you wrote about meeting someone. Or you have a funny anecdote to share about when you realized that I gave your second cousin Bar Mitzvah lessons. Or when you visited your grandmother and on the way you stopped in Tallahassee to meet one of the guys here.
תן לחכם ויחכם עוד
We have to be super careful when it comes to talking about others. Even when we have mutual friends, people still don't share everything with everybody. There are definitely parts of my struggle that you know that others don't know. Try your best to keep it that way

My friends, I love you all, and I respect you all. I don't mean to make anybody crazy, but I do feel we can up the level of confidentiality. Let's do our best to try and keep other people's private details private. 

Friends, thanks a million for being there, and for all your friendship means to me!

Friends, dearest most special friends, where would I be without you?
So, yesterday I stumbled upon a seriously inappropriate picture. And what I've been feeling since reminds me of the lashon of the Gemara,ומכניסות בהם יצר הרע כארס של עכנאי, the YH has been working overtime trying to get me to test my filter. The urges are coming strong and fast. Last night at Maariv I felt the YH getting really strong, so I thought of coming here and posting for accountability. But I was afraid of being next to my computer when I'm feeling weak. So, I texted a few of my wonderful friends here that they should keep me accountable, and I will report that I didn't search for stuff. Spoke to one of the great guys here, and BH got past it

Part of what I asked them to demand of me is that I got an admin for my filter.
To explain, I have techloq. Techloq is a great filter, but there's one serious problem: There is an option to request them to allow a blocked site. I myself have in the past used this option to access things I shouldn't have.
The solution to this loophole is to have an admin, so anything you request needs to be approved by your admin. I recently got a new computer, and I have not added this option yet to my current computer. So, I'm happy to report to the oilam that one of our special friends is now my admin. 

I want to say one more thing. Right when I the YH started up with me, and the urges went through the roof, and I was sitting by the computer, the thought that kept me from falling was "What I am I going to tell the brothers on GYE?". You, yes all of you, my dearest friends, you kept me strong in my weak moment.
I cannot thank you enough!!!
Keep smiling...and trucking!

                                                                                                                                                                                                           שפתיים ישק!!!!


....Both your words and you


 


Muttel

Wow!

The power of friends!

Thank you Eerei for being there for me when I recently needed the chizuk to make sure I will get through a difficult period!

eerie wrote on 03 Sep 2024 18:25:

Kudos to you for doing that!

A thought I want to share with the oilam

Inspired by IWLR (I guess you could say inspired by TBOTG, but IWLR is the embodiment of the book )
On Shabbos morning, as I left my home to go to shul, I saw a woman across the street, probably not Jewish, and dressed that way. I quickly looked away and thought to myself how happy I am to be the winner, that I can be stronger than my desires. (And I davened for a few friends in need of yeshuos). And as I was thinking about how important it is to be excited to say no to my desires, a thought occured. The Iglei Tal brings in his hakdama, I think from the zohar, that the Yetzer Tov does not grow from doing mitzvos, and the Yetzer hara does not grow from doing aveiros. The Yetzer Tov grows from the simcha, the excitement we have from doing mitzvos, and the Yetzer Hara grows from the simcha we have when we do an aveira. Now, I'm sure there are deep, esoteric explanations, but on a simple level, the Zohar is saying that YT means the positive desires we have, and YH means the negative desires we have. And when we withhold a negative desire, that's not enough. That will not make our good desire grow, and it will not make our bad desire become any smaller. The way to grow our good desire is by finding happiness when feeding it, to be excited about the choices we are making, to feel good about ourselves, to revel in the feeling of being a winner, of being a gibor that  can say no. 
Dear friends, thanks for listening! And thank you for always being there for me!

P.s. Thank you to the dear friend here who spent hours on Friday helping me think through a complicated inyan . Really appreciated

To my dearest friends in the world, brothers who stand by me through it all, I wish you all a shana toiva umesuka. I cannot thank you all no matter how hard I'll try. So I won't bother trying. I'll just tell you that you have changed my life. Literally. May the RBSO bentch you all and all of Klal Yisroel with a shnas geula v'yeshua, with a year of purity and cleanliness, with all the good and sweet things in plentiful amounts, and with Moshiach tzidkeinu.
Please have me in mind in your teffilois. I'll be thinking of you.
Eerie

Heard some words of wisdom:

It's not about perfection. It's about progress.