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TOPIC: TAKING OFF MY MASK 10628 Views

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 08 Aug 2023 18:53 #399615

no mask
Current streak: 605 days
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1. I see people from GYE meeting each other, and calling each other

- I wish would have the courage to do so

- Why am I so afraid to reveal who I am, why am I not ready to stop living with a mask. I understand its not easy and I’m afraid of judgment, but its people like me. But I think if they would only know its me.

- Does that mean that I’m still judging myself , so I think I’m gonna be judged, does that mean I still didn’t accept myself, so I’m afraid others won’t accept me.

2. So this shows me I still have work to do, or I should just take the courage and break it through

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 08 Aug 2023 23:01 #399623

redfaced
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No Mask wrote on 08 Aug 2023 18:53:

1. I see people from GYE meeting each other, and calling each other

- I wish would have the courage to do so

- Does that mean that I’m still judging myself , so I think I’m gonna be judged, does that mean I still didn’t accept myself, so I’m afraid others won’t accept me.

2. So this shows me I still have work to do, or I should just take the courage and break it through

I can't tell you your specific reason for holding back.

But I can say that once you stop holding back you'll thanks yourself (and kick yourself that you should have done it earlier).

The people here really care - theres nothing like getting a text at a "random time " hey howya doing

May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com

The Red Face

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 10 Aug 2023 11:08 #399680

chaimoigen Current streak: 585 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1394 Karma: 137	redfaced wrote on 08 Aug 2023 23:01: The people here really care - theres nothing like getting a text at a "random time " hey howya doing I wholeheartedly agree. The connections created here give so much Koach. Even though my wife keeps ~~asking telling~~ telling me "strongly" to stop texting (back) while driving...
	Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 10 Aug 2023 12:09 #399685

redfaced Current streak: 581 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1159 Karma: 57	chaimoigen wrote on 10 Aug 2023 11:08: redfaced wrote on 08 Aug 2023 23:01: The people here really care - theres nothing like getting a text at a "random time " hey howya doing I wholeheartedly agree. The connections created here give so much Koach. Even though my wife keeps ~~asking telling~~ telling me "strongly" to stop texting (back) while driving... SORRY !!
	May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com The Red Face

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 08 Sep 2023 17:38 #400983

no mask
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I don’t feel I’m doing well

I’m not masturbating

I’m not watching porn

But I do look on the street….

When I’m in the grocery, I do find myself in the aisle, something I didn’t do for a long time

It means much too much to me to see a nice women etc.

You know when a computer thinks, there is this turning ring, I feel by me lately my brain is doing that to find lust in everything, going to a store, going to doctor etc. the computer [brain] processing it with lust

I need to get to refocus

Practice

1. Urge surfing

2. Mindfulness

3. ACT

Because just fighting doesn’t help, it actually makes it worse

So I need to find a way that it doesn’t have a grip on me, not that I’m fighting the grip it has on me

So what am I doing L’maseh

Life is so busy or distracting and it doesn’t happen to have time to practice the above

Maybe a partner would be a great idea, so it keeps me in check, and it takes me out from the isolation

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 10 Sep 2023 02:22 #400997

cordnoy
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No Mask wrote on 08 Sep 2023 17:38:

I don’t feel I’m doing well

I’m not masturbating

I’m not watching porn

But I do look on the street….

When I’m in the grocery, I do find myself in the aisle, something I didn’t do for a long time

It means much too much to me to see a nice women etc.

I need to get to refocus

Practice

1. Urge surfing

2. Mindfulness

3. ACT

Because just fighting doesn’t help, it actually makes it worse

So I need to find a way that it doesn’t have a grip on me, not that I’m fighting the grip it has on me

So what am I doing L’maseh

Life is so busy or distracting and it doesn’t happen to have time to practice the above

Maybe a partner would be a great idea, so it keeps me in check, and it takes me out from the isolation

Why do you think you're not doin' well? Because you saw a nice woman or two and enjoyed the sights? So what? She is God's creation! Enjoy, move on and feel good!

Godspeed

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 10 Sep 2023 02:47 #400999

bright
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No Mask wrote on 08 Sep 2023 17:38:

I don’t feel I’m doing well

I’m not masturbating

I’m not watching porn

But I do look on the street….

When I’m in the grocery, I do find myself in the aisle, something I didn’t do for a long time

It means much too much to me to see a nice women etc.

I need to get to refocus

Practice

1. Urge surfing

2. Mindfulness

3. ACT

Because just fighting doesn’t help, it actually makes it worse

So I need to find a way that it doesn’t have a grip on me, not that I’m fighting the grip it has on me

So what am I doing L’maseh

Life is so busy or distracting and it doesn’t happen to have time to practice the above

Maybe a partner would be a great idea, so it keeps me in check, and it takes me out from the isolation

You have accomplished so much! It would be a crime to not be makir that! Having lustful thoughts is not a sin. Its the acting on them that is.

Nothing good grows in the dark.

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 10 Sep 2023 23:32 #401018

chaimoigen
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To echo the words of my worthy colleagues, and perhaps add a twist:

The Nesivos Shalom write the "Lo Sasuru" etc translates as do not EXPLORE forbidden thoughts and sights.
The fact that lustful thoughts arise within you, and that you are desirous of woman in your environment merely means that you are human.
It's how you deal with these thoughts and desires that define you. And yes, part of being human is that most people will slip up a bit in "innocuous" Shemiras Haenayim. It has also been noted countless times on the forums that one often becomes more sensitive to sights in the street after getting clean.

I don't know that I have much to tell you - your streak is much longer than mine, and you know what you know, probably better than I do.
But, in the spirit of admiring friendship - I don't think you should stress or obsess over the "grip" that lust has got over you. You seem to have accomplished much, and obsessing usually have negative results.

Here's a tool that works for me. Say: "I notice that I'm noticing more in the streets" or "I notice that I've been having more lustful thoughts lately". It's a subtle trick that help separate the "I" who is noticing from that which is being noticed. I then find it easier to notice, and move on.

I'm told that his grip weakens with time and space. Let it be so..
A Gut Gebentched Yohr.

באה"ר,
מאן דבעי חיים

Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Last Edit: 10 Sep 2023 23:33 by chaimoigen.

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 11 Sep 2023 18:37 #401040

chancy
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Dear No Mask,

You are not doing well, you are doing freaking fantastically crazy ecstaticitly GREAT!!!
You were able to kick a few serious addictions that lots of people are unable to do! So dance in the streets~!!!
Now, your desires are plain human and have been since after Adam sinned, nothing wrong.
I do understand the feeling, where you can go day on end with lust on everything, trying to find something that does NOT trigger you but finding out in your horror that EVERYTHING is a trigger! Yep that is painful.... I have it sometimes as well.
2 things to understand.
1. That is the price we pay for moving away from actual shmutz. that when your YH wants you to sin again, he has to throw the book at you, its that simple! I know for a fact that since ive stopped P and M i find many many more things arousing then i did when i was doing P and M. In the beginning, it was pissed! WTH? what now? but i realized that instead of fighting it, ill accept it. I know now that just as its possible to stop watching P and doing M, its possible not to get dragged down and into the plain innocuous sights in front of our eyes. You just have to reframe your mind.
2. People like you are the greatest thing Hashem has in this lowly earth! Look what the holy Rambam says that the bigger a person is the bigger his challenges are! I once posted a Yismach Moshe who writes that he had a dream and was told from Heaven that a person that does tshuva and still has a burning desire to return to his old ways and fights that desire, is a full fledged Bal Tshuva! he doesnt need any 'sigufim' or any other purifications! by fighting his YH he is clansing himself!!!

A Git Gebencht Zisse Yur far Alle Yiden!

Last Edit: 11 Sep 2023 18:38 by chancy.

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 11 Sep 2023 20:27 #401046

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2918 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4066	Well said Cordnoy, well said Bright, well said Chaimoigen, well said Chancy. All different points and all true. I hope R' No Mask will hear it all and continue growing!
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 11 Sep 2023 22:21 #401051

frank.lee Current streak: 449 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 689 Karma: 21	I'm sending you a pm, an idea how to get around this...

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 12 Sep 2023 06:01 #401072

no mask
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 11 Sep 2023 20:27:

Well said Cordnoy, well said Bright, well said Chaimoigen, well said Chancy. All different points and all true. I hope R' No Mask will hear it all and continue growing!

Thanks to all of you for your insight and advice, and for seeing my growth, as Hashem help me put it All different points and all true

And thanks for believing in me

I hope R' No Mask will hear it all and continue growing! אמן

a blessed year to all of you

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 05 Nov 2023 05:31 #403256

no mask Current streak: 605 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 201 Karma: 12	I’m looking to get the NetFree filter But I saw on their website Automatic word screening In order to screen the text, we have developed software that automatically recognizes improper wording. The software censors the improper sentences. In cases of extended improper text, the system will block the entire page Does anyone know if GYE works with this filter?

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 06 Nov 2023 01:02 #403281

bright Current streak: 74 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 617 Karma: 23	you can prob whitelist
	Nothing good grows in the dark.

Re: TAKING OFF MY MASK 07 Nov 2023 00:10 #403361

yidy OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 22 Karma: 1	I was trying to open GYE with a net-free filter device and I couldn't get there. but maybe you can set it up with them that you should have excess