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TOPIC: Long Term Goals 596 Views

Long Term Goals 19 Jan 2021 21:38 #361584

  • chancy
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Hi Everyone, 
With Hashems Help and strength, I reached 180 days of no Masturbation 2 days ago!. I still cant believe that i actually did it (or didnt do it...). It was not easy to say the least, but it def gets easier with time and persistence. 
Now, to tell the truth, I did see some porn a few times in these 180 days as well as some other thing like mainstream movies that are not to be watched. So my question now is, should I restart the timer to zero and this time work on being completely clean? or just keep on going with this timeline? I dont know what will help me more.
Any help?

Re: Long Term Goals 19 Jan 2021 22:00 #361587

  • grant400
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chancy wrote on 19 Jan 2021 21:38:
Hi Everyone, 
With Hashems Help and strength, I reached 180 days of no Masturbation 2 days ago!. I still cant believe that i actually did it (or didnt do it...). It was not easy to say the least, but it def gets easier with time and persistence. 
Now, to tell the truth, I did see some porn a few times in these 180 days as well as some other thing like mainstream movies that are not to be watched. So my question now is, should I restart the timer to zero and this time work on being completely clean? or just keep on going with this timeline? I dont know what will help me more.
Any help?

I think continue. It's not a contest here. The timer is meant to help us keep track and remind us of our successes. If you're intent when starting the timer was just to withhold from masturbation, then you succeeded beyond your wildest expectations!

So now you'd like to add new things, great! Starting from today you can apply these new conditions.

Keep shteiging! 

Re: Long Term Goals 20 Jan 2021 06:07 #361614

  • wilnevergiveup
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The goal (as far as I am aware) is a life free of lust. 

Do what you want with the counter, if it makes you feel good you can even open an account where you never reset it just so that you can post like as a hero. 

But, as Grant said, if you feel like you accomplished what you set out to do you are on a streak, if not, then you have to work on those goals. The chart is just to keep track of whatever goals you set for yourself. And remember, don't shortchange yourself.

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup                                                       
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Long Term Goals 08 Feb 2021 20:49 #362948

  • tahoreiniyim
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Hi,

Update- So far im strugglining mightily with my shmires einiyem. 
On the street i can completely watch it, but not online. 
Even with all of my filteres, there is always something that happens and i see something bad. 
Ive been so focused on stopping masturbation that i didnt work just on shmires einiyem for the eyes sake. Everything was focused on not masturbating. 
I dont know how to start this new fight and what tools do i use here? 

Re: Long Term Goals 09 Feb 2021 13:48 #362997

  • Captain
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Welcome @tahoreinayim! It's great to hear from you.

Why don't you start by checking out these great free resources:

Great book (ebook) for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation.

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/ 

Also, you can sign up for the daily GYE Boost emails/ whatsapps at www.gyeboost.org.

Also look around the forums and read about others and their battles. And maybe you want to start your own thread?

Looking forward to hearing more from you!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Long Term Goals 09 Feb 2021 14:59 #363002

  • davidt
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tahoreiniyim wrote on 08 Feb 2021 20:49:
Hi,

Update- So far im strugglining mightily with my shmires einiyem. 
On the street i can completely watch it, but not online. 
Even with all of my filteres, there is always something that happens and i see something bad. 
Ive been so focused on stopping masturbation that i didnt work just on shmires einiyem for the eyes sake. Everything was focused on not masturbating. 
I dont know how to start this new fight and what tools do i use here? 

Tool 1 : STOP
make a decision to STOP, just for today. The past is gone, and the future is not in our hands.

Deciding to stop does not mean that we won’t ever fall again or that we’ll succeed in staying stopped forever on our first try. However, it does mean that we are committed to trying, by being open minded to internalizing the principles and tools discussed in this program which have helped hundreds, if not thousands, break free.

Often we thought that if we would only feed the lust a little bit more and give it what it really wants, it would leave us alone. But it is exactly the opposite. Our sages have said: "There is a small organ in a man, if one feeds it - it is hungry, if one starves it - it is satiated". Although it is hard to stop and we may likely even experience withdrawal symptoms for a while, the more we successfully stay stopped in the short term, the easier it will get in the long term. Knowing this Yesod can make a huge difference.

We must realize that the Yetzer Hara/addiction wants our soul, not the pleasure. Otherwise, why is a thousand times never enough? Keep this 12-Step saying in mind: "Just once is too much, and a thousand times is never enough."

The Steipler Gaon points out in the first volume of Krayna D'igrisah that anyone who keeps away from these forbidden pleasures is promised to receive the pleasures of life from other areasinstead. And it follows that those who accept upon themselves the suffering that breaking-free entails, will save themselves much suffering in other areas of life.

Once we have decided we want to STOP, just for today, we are ready to read the rest of this handbook to learn the many tools, tips and techniques that can help us STAY STOPPED.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Long Term Goals 09 Feb 2021 23:20 #363044

  • doingtshuva
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chancy wrote on 19 Jan 2021 21:38:
Hi Everyone, 
With Hashems Help and strength, I reached 180 days of no Masturbation 2 days ago!. I still cant believe that i actually did it (or didnt do it...). It was not easy to say the least, but it def gets easier with time and persistence. 
Now, to tell the truth, I did see some porn a few times in these 180 days as well as some other thing like mainstream movies that are not to be watched. So my question now is, should I restart the timer to zero and this time work on being completely clean? or just keep on going with this timeline? I dont know what will help me more.
Any help?

I am not telling you what to do but on the other hand don't try to fool yourself either. You are saying that you have fallen with porn a few times and the rules are clear on the 90 day chart. 

What constitutes a "Fall" to require restarting the count?
There are "slips" and there are "falls". "Slips" do not require restarting the count. "Falls" do require restarting.
A "Fall" is one of the following things:


  1. Intentional masturbation (with finish)
  2. Intentionally viewing improper sites
  3. Intentionally calling inappropriate telephone numbers
  4. Intentionally seeking out and reading erotica

In regard to number 2 (and 4), if someone saw something by mistake and then got a little bit carried away and kept looking at it, or even if someone saw a link and couldn't resist clicking on it but then catches themselves within a few seconds, that would only be considered a "slip", not a "fall". However, if someone decides to actively pursue viewing, that would be considered a fall.

You can keep for yourself a separate count for masturbation's, but as your count is visible to other Gye members, it might be misleading. 

​Don't give up!!
 *  NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!
 *  I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.
 *  Being curios made me lust and get into trouble.

אָמַר רבי יוחנן: אֵבֶר קָטָן יֵשׁ לוֹ לָאָדָם, מַרְעִיבוֹ = שָׂבֵעַ, מַשְׂבִּיעוֹ = רָעֵב

Gye program + Handbook  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Long Term Goals 15 Feb 2021 06:41 #363408

  • yeshivaguy
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Hows it goin man?
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