Deleted

The words 'magnificent tower' does indeed sound overwhelming. 
But I don't think we understand it right. 
The beauty of the tower is not caused by long streaks or by having never sinned. 
A tzaddiks' tower, if you'll excuse me, is huge but quite plain. 
It's the tower built by struggle, pain, toil and sweat, by restarting and retrying that has real significance. 

It's the first victory after a fall and the victories after abuse that gives us something to be proud of, something to hold high above our heads while we proudly exclaim: Look Hashem, this is for you. This I built purely for your sake, after I felt I had no will to win, after I had given up on myself, after everyone had given up on me when I joined gye and got a new lease on life. This I offer you, proudly. 
And indeed, it is the very nicest and most significant of all achievements. 

The yetzer hora tries hiding this on us and is unfortunately all too successful. 

So please realise, even after all you've been through, that it's on crumpled foundations that the most beautiful towers are built. 


Looking up to you and praying for your happiness and serenity 
Starting 

P. S. You don't have to allow anyone to step on your foundations. The future starts now. 

Demolished, i am sure that you have good reason to stop posting. However, think of the benefit for the oilam here who can gain so much - especially guys who went through similar abuse. Think about this please.

Yes. Please continue your story. We all care about you and want to hear. And we stand to gain so much from your story.

Deleted

Please look at all the Thank Yous for your posts and their translations, and at your Karma, and realize that you are helping a lot of people. And everyone here cares about you.

Deleted

Deleted 

Demolished wrote on 18 Nov 2020 23:25:

Translation:

Hashem gave permission to the Satan to do whatever he wants with  איוב. But he commanded him, you do not have permission to take his life. The Satan started to inflict upon him terrible tragedies, even murdering his own family etc. Another thing that is well-known is that he had many close friends whom he used to approach for advice on how to cope with said tragedies and the like. The question asks itself, why didn't the Satan murder his friends too, just as he did to his wife and children, specifically since they had the ability to help him? The answer is, because God said " You do not have permission to take his life" and without friends a person is considered dead. My dear Jews! Without you I am a dead man!

Deleted

Demolished wrote on 19 Nov 2020 19:01:

Going to anyway. 

That's amazing and incredible. You are awesome!

I am very grateful for my current streak even though I have had significantly longer ones and the temptations are alive and kicking. It's all part of the big picture, one day at a time doesn't just mean to forget about tomorrow, it means the realize the importance of today. Every day we have to realize how important each and every day is.


First of all, your English is great, second of all, it's fun to see Yiddish every once in a while .

P.S. Thank you for sharing your story with us, it's incredible what one person can go through.

Demolished wrote on 19 Nov 2020 19:01:

Of course you deserve compliments! To go through what you went through and still be fighting - successes aside  - deserves boatloads of respect. Plus such amazing success! 

Regarding your streak, that's amazing! I don't see how past longer streaks has anything to do with how you are doing now. The fact is you are remaining clean, and are successfully fighting tremendous urges daily. If that doesn't deserve awe and compliments I'm not sure what does.

 Now, about the fact that you know that no matter how long your streak is, you must remain vigilant and have a support system for urges, that just means you are learning how to be successful. Unfortunately there isn't any magic switch we can flip that will make us stay clean and remain untempted forever. All we can do is learn how to respond properly and to understand why we should stay clean. So that isn't a deficiency, it's a sign of shteiging!

So to you I say: Respect! Respect! Respect! 

You deserve: Compliment! Compliments! Compliments! 

                                 Grant

Oh my Gosh, 21 months clean, you are a walking Mussar Sefer, to have been through a hell like you have, and yet on your own youv'e managed 21 months clean. I'm embarrassed and humbled with my struggles when my history doesn't reach the toenails of a life you have been through. all i can say is אשריך אשריך אשריך.

Yetzer hora at work again convincing someone he is not deserving of compliments! What absolute naarishkeit! A guy gets molested, suffers for years, stays clean 21 months, talks about it, but (and it is said with a straight face) does not deserve compliments. By the way, the Brooklyn Bridge is for sale.....

Tzaddik yesod olam, aka Demolished, you are the best!