YeshivaGuy wrote on 03 Jan 2021 05:50:

B”H! You are a healthy functioning male!
Allow me to share a mehalech that has worked really well for me. There’s a story that’s been going around about a wealthy businessman who commuted to NYC everyday. He wasn’t happy with the billboards and other pritzus he was seeing so he made himself a deal. Every time he looked away he would put aside a dollar. After sometime he had amassed a tremendous amount of dollars and bought himself a beautiful silver menora. Can you imagine the Simcha he has every Chanukah when he lights that menora? Or just a regular day when he sees it in his break front? He is reminded of the zechsuim that got him that beautiful menora. I am going to write more in detail on my thread but I thought, why can’t I do that too? I’m not a wealthy businessman but I can afford a few dollars. So I started. Every time I look away from someone in the street or a billboard or every half hour that I refrain from masturbating when I have an urge I put aside a dollar. They add up really quickly. There are many different ways you can adapt this method, you can save up for something like the menora or there are mentors here on GYE that will match your savings to give you an even bigger push. I saw a tremendous change in myself because you are in essence training yourself to have a reaction to look away from such things but you don’t even notice because it’s a fun game-like situation. 
Anyways, just thought I’d share what works for me. 
Hatzlocha!

Baruch HaShem, today I shlepped my body out of bed for Shachris.
I fought every fiber of my guf and Bh been goin well thus far

wilnevergiveup wrote on 04 Jan 2021 05:39:

I’m always down for a good debate
I understand and appreciate what ur saying, but I don’t think going to shachris is such a “grand plan.”
I think it’s healthy to expect some Mesirus Nefesh from oneself.
In modern society there’s such a focus on taking it easy, (like their “tachlis” is to retire and play golf all day eating apple sauce! etc etc.) and definitely one shouldn’t be obsessed and freak out.
But l’maaseh, there’s a reason why America hasn’t produced the Gedolei Yisrael that we have in Israel/ in previous generations.
This whole “take it easy” mentality is good, nice, and it has a place, but l’maase, we have chiyuvim and a tachlis HaChayim.

Obviously if one is getting anxiety etc, then it’s a bad thing.
But I think poshut, that an Emesdike “She’eefa l’Gadlus” is a very positive and essential part of becoming an Eved Hashem

I definitely do have an aspect of low self esteem. 
But I beleive shtark, that “She’eefa l’Gadlus” is essential for true Aliya in Avodas HaShem.
And I don’t think all expectations are bad...

Now, I’m sure that I’m misunderstanding what u meant cuz I’m sure ur not against She’eefa.
So if you can elaborate, that would be appreciated 

Missed NightSeder cuz spoke to friend on phone...
Ill cut my losses and go to bed now to wake up on time.
In the past in this situation I’d go learn shtark until 12/1am, but I’m trying a diff mahalach now

wilnevergiveup wrote on 04 Jan 2021 05:39:

Ah I think I may understand now what u meant.
Ur not saying not to have “She’eefa l’Gadlus,” ur just saying not to be upset when I don’t always fulfill my aspirations? 
Or are you saying to make my aspirations more realistic?

"Sheifa" and "sheifa lgadlus" can be detrimental to true growth, because they are vaguely defined and leave an emptiness due to a person never knowing really if this is what "gadlus" is. It is a picture an illusion and not necessarily a good thing. It also causes lots of anxiety. An eved hashem is a person living in the present with the Torah as his guide. 

Correct me of I'm wrong we don't find this "shprach" in the Seforim of the kadmonim, there we are taught the real thing not platitudes. 

For debates sake...

BTW you have been a tremendous inspiration to many and to me personally.

mggsbms wrote on 05 Jan 2021 04:03:

This is why one needs guidance from a Rebbi and must be honest with himself.
Obviously, as I said, if it causes anxiety then it’s not being done properly.
But to rob an entire generation of Jews of any semblance of “She’eefa” is a tremendous disservice to Klall Yisrael.
Chazal say one should always say ״מתי יגעו מעשי למעשי אבותי״ (There’s your Makor)
Now, does that mean we should beat ourselves up for not being perfect?
No.
But it means we should have She’eefa l’Gadlus.

We look to the previous generations to see and learn what living like a yid means and to emulate them, so that's defined. It's not a master plan and goal oriented. 

Debatable.
One should set goals to grow.
I think this is pretty poshut stuff, no?
I think people are so afraid of potential failure that they never actually push themselves to grow.
We need to encourage our children to be big and beleive in them. Not just be satisfied with mediocrity 

מתי מגיע מעשי למעשה אבותי
Sounds to me more like its about focusing on each individual מעשה,
it's not about results.
Of course we should try and always do the right things but that does not mean to become roshei yeshiva. The end result of one persons best could be detrimental for another guy who tries to emulate. 

starting wrote on 05 Jan 2021 04:56:

Guys guys, all I said was that I expect myself to go to Shachris. Don’t worry, I’m not chas vshalom (sarcasm) becoming a Rosh HaYeshiva anytime soon

Showing our kids what a person can become and develop and refine and utilize our given strengths is all extremely important. But that has nothing to do with gadlus and sheifos it is every person's journey whether it will seem mediocre to somebody else or not. If somebody has a big soul and brain they should develop it and that is their journey. It is the picture that we create and then the pressure to fill it is what is causing immense problems.

I suspect that this mindset has brought to many fine people to this site..

mggsbms wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:06:

Maybe.
But I know that I would never have pushed myself to learn and make it to a real Yeshiva and shteig unless my Rebbium instilled within me a drive to attain Gadlus.
Honestly, I think this is poshut stuff.
Obviously it should be done with love and properly, but we need to communicate to our children that they are the future of Klall Yisrael.
This Dor needs to take achrayus.