YeshivaGuy wrote on 08 Nov 2020 06:21:

Amazing post! I just want to say that if (IYH!) you decide to get rid of your phone you will be surprised how relieved you feel, as well as how much easier it will be in reality than it will seem during the decision process. 

You. Are. Truly. Amazing. 

Tons and tons of taiva to masterbate.
Gotta just bear the pain.
Going to 2nd Seder now.
Amazing how this is physical pain.
See ya

Please realize the physical pain is a creation of the subconscious. You feel real pressure, but it can be willed away by simply repeating to yourself that it is not necessary to ejaculate. Once you start believing that, all the pain will iyh vanish. It is a key part of success in this parsha. Every time you feel that overwhelming (fake) pressure, just repeat again and again that there is no need........ Hatzlocha buddy.  I was there chaver - in the same place, so i know what you are feeling. Let's graduate....

Ok guys, taking the step now.
About to take out the sim and transfer it.
On Tuesday I’ll need to put it back in the iPhone so I can use Waze to get to a doctors appointment, and will fill y’all in on how it’s been.

Daven for me

Like the kohen gadol on Yom kippur. I'm blown away. I davened for you by maariv. Hatzlacha! 

Funny, I’m missing the “sim adapter Zach” needed to make my sim fit in the phone.
Ill ask around my friends if they have an extra.
Wont let this trivial roadblock get in my way

Hey guys,
Someone mentioned to me that I only been posting negative things, so here’s the positive/bigger picture of where I’m holding.

Baruch HaShem things in this parsha have become much easier.
Taiva thoughts come and I dismiss them.
I believe in myself, and I know I can live without it.

Now I’ll admit, there are moments of big struggle, when I feel like throwing in the towel.
Such feelings usually coincide with other blips in my Avodas HaShem, like today my chavrusa was sick so I had shver Seder.

My subconscious still associates masterbating with “stress relief” but I’m very much aware of that BH which helps a lot.
And slowly I hope to rewrite the brain further, bezras Hashem.

Sometimes I feel like it’s day#1 but most of the time I feel the progress Baruch HaShem.

I am beginning to become the master of my Self.
Today I was thinking of being nichshal but just couldn’t summon up the “ courage” to do that to myself.

The journey continues

Been doing great Baruch HaShem.
Finnaly managed to get the “sim adapter Zach” to fit my sim in the kosher phone.

Making the switch, Shkoyach guys!
Will check in and be bkesher bezras Hashem

YeshivaGuy wrote on 13 Nov 2020 01:38:

See ya! Take luck!

Took a nap and had a wet dream.
Was lying on my side and my body was doing certain “motions” while I was asleep which I guess caused the wet dream.

At first glance seems like masterbating is so much a part of me that even in my sleep my body does the motions...

If y’all don’t understand what I’m talking about then don’t worry.
But if u do, an explanation would be great.

Thanks

YeshivaGuy wrote on 13 Nov 2020 18:29:

I would say don't worry about it at all my friend! Everybody has wet dreams. There doesn't always have to be a rhyme or reason or explanation. I have had it during very long stretches when I was clean from everything and I was permitted to be with my wife and it happened, that's just the way it is.

The way the אשה השונמית knew that אלישע was an איש אלוקים was because she never saw זרע on his sheet. That's how she knew he was a gadol hador!

You are doing amazing. Just forget about it, make believe it never happened. You can go into Shabbos with purity and holiness!

                                  Grant

 Don't worry at all. Normal, expected, and most of all, a good sign at this point where there is still a subconscious battle going on....  Keep it up tzaddik!

70 days clean.
This doesn’t feel like it’s so much a part of me, Baruch HaShem.
Nothing is inevitable.
As R Volbe says ״אין ממילא״.

R’ Volbe says it in the context of Aliya b’Ruchnius, but I think Pashut it applies here as well.

Thank you all so so much

Been doing great Bh, learning well, going to shachris etc etc.

Now just missed nightseder/maariv shmuzing with a friend, and I really wanted to write over shiur from today...

So now I’m sitting here, and I’m full of taiva to masterbate...

This isn’t over. I’ve been shteiging well in Yeshiva and just cuz made a mistake doesn’t mean I’m hopeless.
And surely it’s not a reason to masterbate etc.

I can write it, but I gotta believe it...

My friend! Don't lose a streak of 4 x חי!!

Go write shiur! It will feel so much better than that other thing you don't really want to do! If you don't believe me then just ask yourself...