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Make it to Yeshiva
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TOPIC: Make it to Yeshiva 23968 Views

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 18:40 #364247

  • anothershot
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 25 Feb 2021 18:22:
Deleted the number.
Digging out of this hole

WOW!!!!!! 
My threads:
Giving it another shot

One step at a time

Daily (I hope) Excerpt from Sefer Zos Brisi

I am going to beat this monster one step at a time... One day at a time!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 18:45 #364249

  • Sapy
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I dont know how you should proceed, but it's a dangerous situation, when she texts back... I would say please talk to one of the experts here how to stop it right now. You dont need this. It is not who you are.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 18:47 #364251

  • YeshivaGuy
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Sapy wrote on 25 Feb 2021 18:45:
I dont know how you should proceed, but it's a dangerous situation, when she texts back... I would say please talk to one of the experts here how to stop it right now. You dont need this. It is not who you are.

She’s not the kind of person to push etc. if I delete her number again after the text back (assuming there is one) then I’m pretty sure she’ll never text me

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 18:58 #364252

  • DavidT
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Your goal is not to conquer a life-long yetzer hora in one day! Simply
putting up a fight is a tremendous accomplishment, and skipping this time, or even delaying it a little bit, is still worthwhile. There is great value and tremendous sechar for every second you are able to be omeid b’nisayon.

Let me tell you a nice story:
There was once a king who placed his daughter at the summit of a large mountain and proposed the following challenge to the inhabitants of his land: I will offer my daughter’s hand in marriage to whomever is able to climb the mountain and reach the top.” Many professional hikers attempted the climb, but they were all unsuccessful. Then along came an old man who could barely see, but decided nonetheless to try. He slowly made his way up, and after many weeks of arduous travel, he eventually made it to the summit, where he received the grand prize-- the princess! When the old man was asked how he was able to reach the summit after so many other hikers had failed, he answered simply, “What do you mean? It wasn’t such a tall mountain! All I saw was a few feet in front of me, so I walked those few feet-- and then another few feet, until I reached the top.”

The nimshal is obvious:
Take one day at a time! Your goal right now is not to stop for life; it’s to push it off as much as you can.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 18:59 #364253

  • OivedElokim
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Wow. I’m inspired by the fact that you slipped and caught yourself before it got out of hand...
Keep it up!
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 21:08 #364260

  • YeshivaGuy
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Ok Rabboisai, here’s where things stand.
She responded.
I told her I’m taking at least a month to disconnect from texting/technology to connect to myself and to God (she’s spiritual so was into it).
So told her won’t be talking.
She was cool with it.

So now, she won’t be texting me. I deleted her number so can’t text her “when I’m ready.”
Now, there is still a risk of texting me at some point down the line, that’s true.
But as long as I don’t respond, she’ll stop and assume I’m not on WhatsApp.
She said “I hope we talk soon.”
And that nearly killed me...

Anyway, this is the matzav.
Im not proud of myself.
I really took a step back here, and nearly lost it all.

The truth is that even with all the gedarim, if a person wants, they can get shmutz.
A person, especially in the Dor, is always just a few steps away from potential destruction.

There’s a way for me to get back her number, by going on the site we met on (before GYE) and getting the number. And unfortunately my account can’t be deleted on it.
The main thing here for me is to be שקוע in Torah v’Yiras Shamayim.

Im moving on and hoping to utilize Purim to catapult me to a new Kabolas HaTorah. B’ezras HaShem Yisborach.

The fledgling,

YeshivaGuy
Last Edit: 25 Feb 2021 21:26 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 Feb 2021 23:25 #364268

  • OivedElokim
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חזק!

For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 26 Feb 2021 01:20 #364270

  • HappyYid
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 25 Feb 2021 21:08:
Ok Rabboisai, here’s where things stand.
She responded.
I told her I’m taking at least a month to disconnect from texting/technology to connect to myself and to God (she’s spiritual so was into it).
So told her won’t be talking.
She was cool with it.

So now, she won’t be texting me. I deleted her number so can’t text her “when I’m ready.”
Now, there is still a risk of texting me at some point down the line, that’s true.
But as long as I don’t respond, she’ll stop and assume I’m not on WhatsApp.
She said “I hope we talk soon.”
And that nearly killed me...

Anyway, this is the matzav.
Im not proud of myself.
I really took a step back here, and nearly lost it all.

The truth is that even with all the gedarim, if a person wants, they can get shmutz.
A person, especially in the Dor, is always just a few steps away from potential destruction.

There’s a way for me to get back her number, by going on the site we met on (before GYE) and getting the number. And unfortunately my account can’t be deleted on it.
The main thing here for me is to be שקוע in Torah v’Yiras Shamayim.

Im moving on and hoping to utilize Purim to catapult me to a new Kabolas HaTorah. B’ezras HaShem Yisborach.

The fledgling,

YeshivaGuy

Stay strong! You inspire all of us. We are all here for you too!
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 26 Feb 2021 13:25 #364283

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@yeshivaGuy - You are doing great.  It's hard.  but you will realize that the fight is worth it when IM'H you get married and you've already acquired the tools and the "spiritual muscles" to fight the battle.  As any of us married guys can attest, if this issue is not addressed before marriage, the problem will only exacerbate. 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Feb 2021 22:29 #364362

  • YeshivaGuy
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Had a good Purim Baruch HaShem.
Having seacond thoughts bout deleting the number, and been fantasizing a shtikl. 
Trying to move forward.
Spoke to the sgan mashgiach and there’s no one available for me to learn with first seder, so that’s shver...

Anyway, staying strong. Been struggling with touching myself, and trying to bring my Nekudas HaBechira back higher...

Will stay b’kesher. Thank You all.

YeshivaGuy

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Mar 2021 04:31 #364405

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Slipping... trying to make it through the night

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Mar 2021 04:38 #364407

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 01 Mar 2021 04:31:
Slipping... trying to make it through the night

Please please I beg you, make it through, I promise you'll be so much happier! 
Giving myself chizuk too by posting...

Good night,
Happy Yid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Mar 2021 04:41 #364408

  • OivedElokim
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 01 Mar 2021 04:31:
Slipping... trying to make it through the night

You got this
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Mar 2021 10:50 #364423

  • Striving Avreich
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@YeshivaGuy You are literally the reason that I started this journey and found the courage, desire and conviction to get involved here. Your story is truly inspiring. I read your entire thread in the end of January and couldn't believe what you have accomplished.

Fight smarter (I hope this isn't too tough etc.)

Striving Avreich
Last Edit: 01 Mar 2021 10:51 by Striving Avreich.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Mar 2021 11:05 #364424

  • YeshivaGuy
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Thanks guys for the kind words and chizuk.
Baruch HaShem I made it through.
Have a wonderful day! 
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