thanks man your a real pal!! [although ill never know you]

Mazal Tov, that's great news!
You said it became a routine, I totally understand you because it was a routine for me too.
So what do you do with a routine? You change it. There's probably a cycle there that if you identify it you can break it for good.
In my case, there were some dealbreakers.
-Staying up after everyone went to bed. Solution: go to bed when everyone does and avoid staying at home completely alone.
-Smartphone in general and smartphone in the bathroom. Solution: At first checked out the phone before going to the bathroom. Now I bought myself a kosher phone and I feel so much better.
-Lusting during the day, that means, fantasizing about women, looking at innapropriate women either on the streets or ads. Solution: Avert all looks, and thoughts, aggressive and irrational shmiras eyinaim.
-Boredom. Solution: Come up with kosher and pleasurable activities.

You see I didn't try to change myself. I didn't say to myself ok I will stay up after everyone else and not act out. Or I'll take the smartphone to the bathroom and try real hard not to do something stupid. Or I'll look at indecently dressed women and not act out. I changed what I could change, and thus the struggle became much easier.
Don't try to change yourself, but do, urgently, change your routine, and whatever is in your power to do so.

@jack123

Forget about Will power as your main weapon.
That's not how to do this.
If used by itself it only keeps you clean for about a month.
It is too tiring.
Too confrontational.

Will power admittedly can help on a very occasional basis in the longer struggle...but it is a secondary weapon, perhaps you might use it on three occasions per year.

Try Mindfulness instead.

Mindfulness can explain self destructive behaviour.

Treat the urge to fall, as an external thought, rather than something that is part of you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior

thanks colin,
i tried that last time, or something similar and it only lasted a month. that doesnt discredit the system just myself.
but yeah im trying not to rely on willpower 
thanks for being there!

im starting to realise that although we all suffer from the same ailment we have vastly different stories, ill explain
many people i chat with here have lust and fantasy issues, seeing women thinking etc., which i basically dont suffer from. which got me thinking why.
i realised that essentialy im living 2 lives, but in a deep way. when i go about in the outside world im mr. frum and i feel it i wouldn't dream of doing anything wrong. but as soon as 'the lights dim' and im by myself i get switched on and act out. almost schizo like.
im not saying i never think in the day about these things, i do, but just not in a big way at all.
if anyone identifies with me please fill me in

day 7
believe it or not i made it to a whole week!!
its been a week of gehenom [physically] and gan eden [spiritually] all in one.
and to think that a week ago i had given up hope is crazy
gotta give credit where its due, its all you guys who inspired me, just seeing all of you putting up such a fight sucked me in. 
im sure glad it did.  onward and upwards
jack123

Hi Jack,

I really commend your fight, not giving up, no matter what. You mentioned not having issues during the day, you act frum and feel it. I may have a similar thing. When I'm walking along the street I can quite easily avert my gaze, but then I can come home, go to my room, and just start acting out. I can feel 'I wouldn't read that non jewish book,' then go and read a ___ story. Its not like a frenzy of lust, more like giving up. Resigning. Saying 'I'll improve tomorrow.'

For me, I find when I break for a few days, I can get a bit more sensitive again. (I've seen this mentioned on here before, by a user called Grant.) It becomes less routine that I act out and more desire. And then I once again get the will to fight it. 

Oh wow - I wrote most of this before I read the first page of your thread, pretty much all the points are covered. Still, at least you know you have me with you, rooting you on. Hatzlocha

Right on! Right on Jack123! I'm honored just to know your username! Keep up the great work! You are an inspiration to all the GYE family! 

There is tremendous enjoyment and a sense of  fulfillment you get through Torah and Mitzvos.

Falling in these areas destroy the desire to do this. Subsequently you will not feel any accomplishment in your Yiddishkeit. 

It may take a long while to truly overcome the addiction. However to this point I can promise you that even after a short period of time (and like you posted about your three day mark ..feeling) that there’s amazing feeling of accomplishment from controlling yourself and there’s an amazing enjoyment in doing the things that really make you who you are.

thank you all for your kind and motivating words, wouldnt manage without them.
day 8
friday, weekends are usually the easiest part of the week and i cant help getting a bit ahead of myself, mentally saying that im as is 10 or 11 days. i know its dangerous, cant afford to be confident. but goes to show how im growing into the challenge.
thanks all and a good shabbos

day 10
not to difficult, little bit too much time to myself, gotta utilise it properly. its just harder when your mentally engaged in a battle...
i added a signature below which has really become my motto, because with acting out i had a big loss of enthusiasm for yiddishkeit in general [full disclosure!] not that i didnt keep everything, just lacking any life. and slowly with regaining my life i feel i also am regaining enthusiasm.
which is exactly this possuk  העבר עיני מראות שוא בדרכיך חיני
thanks, and ill be back!!

My experience is different from @jack123 and @Im Tevakshena Kakasef

I can think of forbidden thoughts any time ...even on the way into the Beit Haknesset, sometimes during davening too.

@colin:
 I also have forbidden thoughts pop into my mind all the time, including (especially???) during davening and learning. But someone once explained to me that there is nothing wrong at all with bad thoughts popping into your head, the only problem is if you engage the thought and continue thinking about it willingly. We can't control what pops into our minds but we have the choice to either ignore it or welcome it. 

 So next time you are taking a drink, swimming or davening and an improper thought occurs to you, dont feel bad or like a bad person just continue with what you were doing, just calmly say the next words of the tefilla with kavana (don't try to squeeze the thought out of your head....trust me it doesn't work) and no damage was done. (As a side point, when you stop stressing over the fact that thoughts occur and feel badly about them, they become less frequent...)

                       Grant

does anyone have any tips on how to get moving, i sit down and dont get down to anything important and cant motivate myself to do them. which in our situations is not recommended...
so how do i pull myself together
please let me know
jack123

Drink a coupla' redbulls....that ought to get you moving pretty darn fast