Just my daily update, ready to start the day clean.



Thanks Grant for the chizuk, lets do this together!



And thanks Colin for the outlook. I have a rebbe who often mentions the power of contrast, same as what you are saying. Its great advice, and so true.

Just wanted to add my chizuk and tell you that reading your posts inspire me as well. Keep it up and we are all here for you and for each other. 

Thank you Nathan.
Its so good to know that people are rooting for me, fighting the same fight. I just read your starting thread, and while I can never know what you are going through, I want to add my admiration. To have to resist SSA is something I cannot relate to, nor give advice on, and I can only imagine just how hard that struggle is. Which makes it so impressive that people like you are willing to tackle that desire head on. So again, thank you for supporting me, and I wish you much hatzlocha in your journey. I know Hashem receives incredible nachas ruach from your struggle. May He bless you, and all of us, with all that is good.

Nightly update: Baruch Hashem another clean day. Some hirhurim I allowed to linger too long, but thank G-d no falling.

Good night all.

Hang in there bro! We love you!

Hey Brother, 

I can totally relate. It is hard enough to fight this yetzer horah but it is even harder when we find ourselves just checked out. I think that is the key to making significant progress. We have to focus that the point isn't to just not look at unseemly images or act out but the focus has to be on building that relationship with Hashem. 

If we can work on this struggle within the context of the larger goal of creating that strong kosher with the ​Ribono shel olam then I think we have a shot. 

Thanks again Grant for all the support.

And thanks AnonyJew. I agree, the viewpoint has to be that acting out takes us further from Hashem, and what we all really want in life is to be close to Him. I'll have to try and remember that when I burn out, or start fantasizing. Its just not worth distancing myself from Hashem for.

Hatzlocha all, and may we all have a good pure day. 

Hey there ITK old friend! Happy to hear you are still surfing your streak!

I just wanted to share with you a method I found extremely helpful and it's what I use on a daily basis. I posted this on another forum but I'd like to share it with you and let me know what you think:

Hey there! Welcome! Your courage is obvious I'm new here also so I might be missing the boat, but I want to share an idea I read that really helped me out in all areas of desire. By that I mean wherever it isn't intellect that is causing you to do or not do something, but rather desire or emotion.

Especially capitalizing on a moment when you hit rock bottom and the cons are so obviously not outweighing the pros. The method is to sit down and think through or write down all the pros (of the issue you are dealing with) including the "bad" pros. For example even the mere fact that you enjoy it and find it so pleasurable can go on the list of benefits. Then you write the cons and why you don't want to or shouldn't continue. So now after having weighed the issue on a purely intellectual level, Make a decision if you want to continue with this practice or not. Obviously the cons are more considerable because if not you wouldn't be making this list. So now you already decided the fight and struggle that will crop up in the future!

Now, when faced with the challenge head on it isn't as tough a fight as it was before because you say to yourself " Yes I know how desirable it is and how good I'll feel but I already took all that into consideration and decided that I have more to lose, and more unhappy and unpleasant feelings in the long run than the feelings which drive me now.

So once it's a nice neat packaged decision -not of yiras shamayim or that it's wrong and I shouldn't.....etc. that we know unfortunately can get steamrolled by desire... but rather a purely mathematical analysis that has already been determined-of losing out more than gaining, of less pleasure vs. more pleasure (in the future) it may seem much easier to say no without further vacillation even in the face of such intense desire. I hope I've been a help and don't just sound like an idealist; )
         
                                 Grant

Thank you again Grant.
I downloaded some worksheets of the type you mentioned, from a user called MenachemGYE, where one lists the pros and cons of falling, and hopefully will do them at some point. Keep going strong, and I really appreciate the chizuk and advice.

Baruch Hashem no falling today. Lets keep this up together.

Lets get this day started!

Baruch Hashem another successful day. Hatzlocha to all.

Day going well so far. Hope everyone else is O.K. too.

Awesome! Me too!

Firstly, thanks to Hashem for the week clean streak!



Thanks Grant, good to have you by my side. May I ask some advice?



I often slip into long periods (generally during zman) where I just don't have a yetzer for shmutz at all. And then all of a sudden, he hits me again. Like last week I was falling for days, and this week has been really pretty easy to stay clean. So I have no idea how I'll handle when the yetzer comes. Do you know why this is?



Thanks again so much for sticking with me, and let me know what you think about the yetzer letting up for long periods before striking with vengeance.

So happy to hear you are doing well and glad to be a friend!

Regarding your question since I don't know you or your circumstances I cant explain specific to you but I can share my perspective from personal experience. I'm going to list a few theories.

1) Like you mentioned that your good streaks without temptation are usually during the zman. I would venture to say that its specifically when you are learning and davening well. When you feel good about your ruchniyus. When a person feels spiritually successful a temptation which would normally be a battle just seems silly. For example if you leave the light on in your room on shabbos, even if you won't be able to sleep at all, which might even cause you to have a headache etc. Its not even a battle for you not to turn off the light. The prohibition is so strongly ingrained in you that its almost not even a temptation. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would venture that when you aren't learning so well, even during the zman, that's when the struggle becomes more real.

2) Another version I've experienced as had many people on GYE (skim through forums) is when you are feeling down or stressed or upset etc. these things can cause a fall somewhat out of the blue.

3) Boredom. This is also why you find bein hazmanim more challenging. This is why when I cant fall asleep at night and I twist and turn ...my mind tempts me to misbehave.

4) You mentioned that now you have an easier time after a longer period of acting out last week. After a fall where you mentally hit rock bottom or get frustrated with yourself and resolve to change, that determination based on regret and feeling horrible helps us in the first phase. After a while when those feelings aren't fresh the excitement of change lessens.
 But now that we know all this we can make "tachbulos" i.e. tricks to prevent them from damaging. Because armed with this knowledge we can be more vigilant in these situations to recognize when we are vulnerable and take steps accordingly. Like to read a quick chizuk or to post something and get support.

                                Grant