Shalom Aleichem, my name is zy s, I'm so honored and proud to be a part of this program. I haven't been this proud of myself for a very long time. I've made it close to a month now free!

Welcome! you're in good company. We hope that Hashem should always be proud of you as well! Keep on posting and keep connected. We are in this together.

Welcome!

Keep it up!

Please tell us what is working for you.

Hatzlachah

What works best for me is to first analyze myself with a new viewpoint. I had to reeducate myself in regards to this nisayon. I've suffered greatly from this, but it has also taught me a lot about myself. I am by nature a very sensitive person. I really care about people. So, in turn I learned to care about myself. I stopped feeling ashamed and angry. I realized what my triggers were and immediately went and took care of myself. When I was really "under the influence", back in the day, I didn't care about myself I just wanted the pain to go away. Like a painkiller, I ran towards the nisayon. Now, I treat myself. I am so happy that I can write this. I hope it helps. 

I'm also proud to say that its been a month free! I haven't felt like this in a very long time. My journey has been a very very long one. 

Well done! I think you should switch the word "proud" to the word "grateful"

You know what, your'e absolutely right! I am grateful to Hashem for giving me the self confidence to go through this journey after falling so many times. But, it still makes me proud. 

zys wrote on 25 Jun 2020 19:08:

27 days is an amazing accomplishment , keep it up and keep us posted. 

31 days and still going boruch Hashem!! I just wanted to ask anyone out their if they feel the same way I do. I mean I'm happy, grateful, and proud that I've come this far, but I don't feel normal. Its almost like having a huge scar on your body that you can't remove. I'm currently in middle of a shidduch and the stress of divulging that I've suffered in the past is absolutely terrifying. I know that I need to be compassionate to myself and take a deep breath, nut still the weariness doesn't go away. How do you just go ahead and trust someone with this burden of information?

Kol HaKavod on 31 days!
This has been discussed before on different threads, I think it would be best for you to discuss with a Rebbe whom you feel close to if it is wise to share your past struggle with your shidduch. As we know Teshuva makes you a different person, why tell your shidduch about some other guy?