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1st time try with uncertainty
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TOPIC: 1st time try with uncertainty 864 Views

1st time try with uncertainty 25 Apr 2019 09:46 #340738

  • Lifeofpurity
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HI I have just started the 90 day program. I am very skeptical about my capability to  accomplish this task although I know that you have to go in with confidence. Suffering from Watching inappropriate things is generally not an issue due to the fact that I don't have internet access during the zman although bein hazmanim is always a battle. Acting out has always plagued me. Any ideas, tips, or advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 25 Apr 2019 14:32 #340741

  • Joseph1
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Welcome to the 90 day's 

I am confident that you will find here chavarim what they will help you 

Keep up 

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 25 Apr 2019 16:55 #340742

  • Iampowerless
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Welcome buddy,

I definitely relate to the feelings of uncertainty and skepticism when starting this program, as someone who recently has been falling after reaching 143 days not that long ago. I'm so full of shame and definitely skeptical about starting again, but the truth is I really have no other option this way of living of constantly having falls and loosing myself is just not working out.

Remember to take it ODAAT (one day at a time) make sure to do at least one positive action of recovery a day. Such as writing on the forum and keeping in touch with other people trying to recover and soon those days will add up to an impressive number

 keep strong buddy
 Love Yankel 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

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Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 27 Apr 2019 23:58 #340746

  • ColinColin
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Welcome.

Try to understand why you act out.

Mainly lust?
Or a response to stress?
Or depression/loneliness?

Then you can put a plan together to counter these negative feelings by taking positive steps which will replace them with positive emotions.

And even then you will be tested...so take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, ten minutes at a time if need be.
Last Edit: 27 Apr 2019 23:59 by ColinColin.

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 28 Apr 2019 03:50 #340747

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome. B'ezras Hashem you will get better here like so many others. Stay connected with the chevra here. Keep posting. Hatzlocha.

As far as a bain hazmanim tip: Write a contract that you will not use an unfiltered device even for kosher purposes. If you do, even if you did not access any inappropriate sites, you will pay a knas of an amount that hurts a bit. Write a clause that if you must use that device, you will tell a chaver that you will be using an unsafe computer/phone for the next half hour or so and will notify them when you are done. That accountability works. 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 02 May 2019 12:22 #340862

  • Lifeofpurity
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Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement. I am already at such a great milestone for myself now being at 8 days. Just letting you guys know w\o flattering, ( cuz you cant really flatter someone you dont know from beans.​) that people as considerate as you who reply to such a 1st timer means a lot to me and has generated a lot of the success I have had  till now and just being connected like this helps me tremendously, and will be'ezras Hashem propel all the way to the finish line. please keep in touch and don't forget about me.

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 03 May 2019 03:25 #340899

  • Hashem Help Me
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Keep posting and we wont forget about you... 

 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 03 May 2019 13:19 #340908

  • Lifeofpurity
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I have such a strong urge to just act out now....I keep on telling myself it's not so bad, what do I really gain if I complete 90 days...then I look at how much I really want to complete this program and that I could do this. I am just concerned that the wrong side is going to win. Please how do I tip the scale in the right direction?

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 03 May 2019 13:28 #340909

  • cordnoy
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Lifeofpurity wrote on 03 May 2019 13:19:
I have such a strong urge to just act out now....I keep on telling myself it's not so bad, what do I really gain if I complete 90 days...then I look at how much I really want to complete this program and that I could do this. I am just concerned that the wrong side is going to win. Please how do I tip the scale in the right direction?

May I suggest takin' a piece of paper (or you can use computer), make two columns, one for 90 days and the other for Angelica. List the benefits and repercussions for each one. See which side "wins." Keep us posted please.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: 1st time try with uncertainty 03 May 2019 15:46 #340912

  • Dave M
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Lifeofpurity wrote on 03 May 2019 13:19:
I have such a strong urge to just act out now....I keep on telling myself it's not so bad, what do I really gain if I complete 90 days...then I look at how much I really want to complete this program and that I could do this. I am just concerned that the wrong side is going to win. Please how do I tip the scale in the right direction?

Yesterday, I felt that as well.  Logging onto GYE helped.  Also, taking a walk outside, while talking/davaning to Hashm also calmed me down a bit.
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