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Hello after many years
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TOPIC: Hello after many years 3814 Views

Re: Hello after many years 13 Nov 2018 12:29 #337203

  • cordnoy
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stronger_today wrote on 13 Nov 2018 08:07:
This is line I came here for "True sobriety (which he still doesn't have) only happened/is happenin'/might happen without a filter." I always believed that I would only become sober with a filter, but I've realized that I have the capability to be sober without one. The filters are useless anyway for me, so I don't really have another option. 

"Because I still lust, fantasize at times, constantly look at women in streets, and given the right opportunity (which sadly never shows up), I'd definitely have some fun in an elevator." - This makes you human and I don't think it's something to suppress. If you see a pretty woman in the street our job is not to have not looked in the first place - it is to not stare and dwell on it. And there are reasons why Yichud still applies in a long enough elevator ride - anyone is susceptible to that temptation, and no one is considered "immune" from it. 

Good thin' that guy you're quotin' has a distinct flavor (charm) and style; this way we know who it is.
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Re: Hello after many years 13 Nov 2018 16:49 #337207

  • דרך ישר
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There is a saying about not fighting with certain people even if you may be 100% right, as you may end up "dead right' like i heard from rabbi miller a few times about the young yu man who got called slur by some blacks on the subway and instead of taking it quietly,he stood up to then=m and ended up dead a few minutes later. He was literally "dead right". So too you may only reach "true" sobriety if you have full access but most people will end up in a fall "dead" long before they reach that so although a truly person may have no problem with a open computer , we don't have to call ourselves we can call ourselves drunks- and keep the bottle locked up. This is definitely the Torah way as referenced by the famous rashbam stated above and as witnessed by many stories from gemara times to contemporary gedolim who were very happy being considered drunks and not to get to the test of being called "truly sober". 
Stronger- in you're case though where you say mo filters work and you truly cannot mange without it i guess you'll have to figure out a way to do it. but for anyone else who filters/reporting software, work for and you cant get around them make sure to use them and don't let your EGO to call yourself "truly sober" get in the way and convince you to get rid of them 
Summary better to be a LIVE DRUNK than a DEAD SOBER

Re: Hello after many years 13 Nov 2018 21:34 #337217

  • mzl
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דרך ישר wrote on 13 Nov 2018 16:49:
There is a saying about not fighting with certain people even if you may be 100% right, as you may end up "dead right' like i heard from rabbi miller a few times about the young yu man who got called slur by some blacks on the subway and instead of taking it quietly,he stood up to then=m and ended up dead a few minutes later. He was literally "dead right". So too you may only reach "true" sobriety if you have full access but most people will end up in a fall "dead" long before they reach that so although a truly person may have no problem with a open computer , we don't have to call ourselves we can call ourselves drunks- and keep the bottle locked up. This is definitely the Torah way as referenced by the famous rashbam stated above and as witnessed by many stories from gemara times to contemporary gedolim who were very happy being considered drunks and not to get to the test of being called "truly sober". 
Stronger- in you're case though where you say mo filters work and you truly cannot mange without it i guess you'll have to figure out a way to do it. but for anyone else who filters/reporting software, work for and you cant get around them make sure to use them and don't let your EGO to call yourself "truly sober" get in the way and convince you to get rid of them 
Summary better to be a LIVE DRUNK than a DEAD SOBER

I would add, for even more perspective, that there is a limit to how far people are tested. One can always be tested more. In other words, the level of test that we learn to pass is arbitrary anyway. So there's no special achievement in being tested and passing the test. What is significant though is to correctly gauge the level of test that each person is likely to encounter. I think you want to focus on that. Anything that can be blocked reliably should be blocked (why not?) and the rest is where the interesting stuff happens.

For example in my case porn is blocked by divine decree and the interesting stuff happens with my wife.
Last Edit: 13 Nov 2018 21:35 by mzl.

Re: Hello after many years 14 Nov 2018 14:01 #337242

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I'm 100% with you. I advocate more than filters - I think accountability software is a must. For my specific situation I don't have a choice but to face the true test of sobriety - similar to an alcoholic who can't avoid alcohol at every single store or house he visits. 

Re: Hello after many years 14 Nov 2018 14:03 #337243

  • stronger_today
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Right - there really is no limits to the test. And for me, this is what I'm likely to encounter. Well said. 
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