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A struggling bochur
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Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: A struggling bochur 57546 Views

Re: A struggling bochur 09 Aug 2019 04:15 #342771

  • Realestatemogul
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I am soooo happy for you! You sound like you are in a really good place.

How is SMART different then the GYE Forums? 

Re: A struggling bochur 09 Aug 2019 21:24 #342779

Thanks.

SMART is like a 12 step meeting just different in philosophy and approach. There's real people with real names with real honesty, real recovery and real friendship, which can't be compared in any way to a forum, like one can't compare reading a book vs being part of the story etc.
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 11 Aug 2019 16:22 #342784

Hi
I am new to gye. I am also a bochur struggling with porn and mastubation.
Just signing up has given me chizuk already!  
Hope to start the 90 day challenge soon together with Taphsic!
A struggling yeshiva bochur, who is reaching out for help.

Re: A struggling bochur 12 Aug 2019 05:06 #342793

  • gyehelp2017
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Egg and Onion wrote on 11 Aug 2019 16:22:
Hi
I am new to gye. I am also a bochur struggling with porn and mastubation.
Just signing up has given me chizuk already!  
Hope to start the 90 day challenge soon together with Taphsic!

Hi, and welcome aboard,
You came to the right place, all of us around here are in the same boat one way or another. Stick around, post, chat and keep us updated with your progress, so that you can be inspired and inspire others too.
Hatzlucha on your journey!!

Re: A struggling bochur 12 Aug 2019 11:44 #342797

  • gye5770
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Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 09 Aug 2019 21:24:
Thanks.

SMART is like a 12 step meeting just different in philosophy and approach. There's real people with real names with real honesty, real recovery and real friendship, which can't be compared in any way to a forum, like one can't compare reading a book vs being part of the story etc.

I just want to understand - so its basically like a live 12 step meeting - which is also with real people, real problems, real recovery and real friendship and real solutions?

Re: A struggling bochur 12 Aug 2019 11:52 #342799

Not sure whether you're trying to make fun or not, as long as it makes you feel good.. 

I personally won't leave gye because of someone trying to poke fun but some newcomers do get put off by some stupid comments which come from people who think they are funny but really aren't... If they can take responsibility for someone giving up on gye then feel free to keep the smart comments coming...
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 12 Aug 2019 13:03 #342801

  • Dave M
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I don't think he was trying to make fun of you.  The way I'm reading it, he was trying to understand the different between the 2 programs. 

Re: A struggling bochur 13 Aug 2019 04:23 #342821

  • stillgoing
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Hi Shnitz.
sounds like you're a little insulted. I don't know the writer, but I agree with Dave.
Many people are probably confused between the many different kinds of recovery programs.  Live meetings are definitely more intense than an anonymous forum. That's a clear difference to be pointed out.   
As far as the types of live meetings, there are some who practice the 12 steps of Alcoholic Anonymous such as SA and PA, and there are others who don't such as SMART.
  Personally I only have experience with one of those groups, but I would assume that all of them would offer the benefits of real people. etc... (assuming that there are enough people in your area to make an active meeting).
As far as the program of the meeting itself, there are many colors in the rainbow, let's let each person try and find what will work (and stay worked) for them.
sg
BIG SHOT!
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Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: A struggling bochur 13 Aug 2019 05:07 #342822

  • Realestatemogul
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Hmmm....and here I was wondering if he thought the eggs and onion guy was making fun of him....

I am still behind you 100%!!!

Re: A struggling bochur 13 Aug 2019 13:38 #342828

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Realestatemogul wrote on 13 Aug 2019 05:07:
Hmmm....and here I was wondering if he thought the eggs and onion guy was making fun of him....

I am still behind you 100%!


Could be that I'm just hungry, but I can't help thinking that shnitzel and kugel go Fri night, eggs and onions are for shabbos day, and, um, I guess the real estate mogul comes for shaloshidis. (Gotta work on the third one, I know)
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 13 Aug 2019 13:40 by stillgoing. Reason: Eggs need more mayo

Re: A struggling bochur 14 Aug 2019 02:15 #342842

  • i-man
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stillgoing wrote on 13 Aug 2019 13:38:

Realestatemogul wrote on 13 Aug 2019 05:07:
Hmmm....and here I was wondering if he thought the eggs and onion guy was making fun of him....

I am still behind you 100%!





Could be that I'm just hungry, but I can't help thinking that shnitzel and kugel go Fri night, eggs and onions are for shabbos day, and, um, I guess the real estate mogul comes for shaloshidis. (Gotta work on the third one, I know)



Eggsalent !
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2019 04:50 by i-man.

Re: A struggling bochur 14 Aug 2019 10:32 #342853

  • gye5770
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Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 12 Aug 2019 11:52:
Not sure whether you're trying to make fun or not, as long as it makes you feel good.. 

I personally won't leave gye because of someone trying to poke fun but some newcomers do get put off by some stupid comments which come from people who think they are funny but really aren't... If they can take responsibility for someone giving up on gye then feel free to keep the smart comments coming...

Sorry if you thought i was making fun of you - absolutely no way. I go to 12 step meetings and i was wondering if this would help me better or if its to similar to the meetings i am going to now already.

Re: A struggling bochur 15 Aug 2019 19:00 #342880

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Shnitzkugel:
Would you elaborate more on the nature of the SMART program? I could help by starting and then you can take over...

As it seems to me from the outside, one major point is that it's empowering rather than the dis-empowering powerlessness approach of the 12 steps. Another major one is that it doesn't label addiction as an incurable disease. Yet another one is that it focuses more on building your life, adding positive goals and working towards them. Now the mic is yours, take it please..

Re: A struggling bochur 19 Aug 2019 12:59 #342915

First two are spot on, we believe everyone has the power to stop on their own, obviously with group support but no need for higher powers, we're not powerless.

Also we don't label ourselves as addicts in our introductions, however when we discuss SMART tools we do call it addiction. 

12 steps is a more spiritual program, SMART is scientific which would work for atheists as well. 

I've only been to 3 sessions so far so my knowledge is limited, I didn't go last week because I'm not happy with that locations administrator, too much talking and wasting time, and not serious enough. 

Either I'll find a new location or perhaps do online meeting, also I can't be open about my sexual issues as no one else in that group has a sexual issue so it's not helpful enough as there's no real honest, vulnerability etc. 

On another note last night I had a fall, I reached around 70 days, longest in a year! Also quickest I've ever risen again, and I didn't watch porn like I always did once I fell by mastrubating, so we're definitely getting somewhere BH.
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 19 Aug 2019 21:38 #342939

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Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 19 Aug 2019 12:59:
...... we're definitely getting somewhere BH.

Where?



Love ya
sg
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
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