HHI I'm been suffering my whole life. when I was 8 and 10 years old I was abused badly sexually  and now and at the age of 17 till now 34 I'm suffering extremely with sex and porn addiction I feel so hopeless and I wish I was close to god my life is miserable

You came to the right place ,I’m sorry for your childhood trauma,I’m sure you saw a therapist about it (if you didn’t yet you really should ,you’ll be lifting a mountain off your heart!).keep on going ,coming close to God has just begun!

Welcome Mango! I'm sorry to hear the pain you went and are going through. There are plenty of people on here who can relate and are familiar with your suffering and feeling of hopelessness. But there is hope!
There's a wonderful bunch of guys here who can help you start your journey. Keep posting, make yourself at home, and with God's help you will achieve great things!

Welcome. Hang around and iyh we will help you get past it all and enjoy a pure clean life. Hold on to our hands as you recover. Hatzlocha. If possible post some more details (non identifying) so the oilam has some more info to work with and advise on.

Hi
I'm So sorry for your suffering, my story is very similar, just know that this is not your fault and this life was forced on you by sick people, there is definitely hope but don't fight this by your self see a therapist and join support groups.
Realy feeling your pain 
Hatzlocha 

Welcome!  You have come to the right place.  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.

Have you ever gone to therapy?  Did it help? Are you married? Does your wife know about your addiction?