Hi Everyone. All of a sudden, I find myself craving inappropriate pictures online. GYE wrote about dopamine and the brain, and that helped me understand what's going on. I finally succeeded in blocking pinterest, which has saved me during moments of weakness. 

I have anger nisyonos as well, and last week I lost me temper badly with my son. My wife and children were scared. 

I think that there's a deeper question in my life - aside from the Torah and mitzvos that we all are a part of, I find myself missing the individualized big picture in my life. What's the meaning of my life? I read Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning, and he writes that without individualized meaning, a person will feel sad. 

This taivah is a symptom of a deeper issue, and I'm interested to discuss this with you all on this forum. 

Thanks for reading. 

Welcome Mevater.
I think I can relate to your idea that without meaning, life sometimes feel pointless, which will lead to sadness. That's something I'm struggling with as well. It's hard to know what to address first - the taivah or the deeper underlying issue?

Keep posting and get to know the friendly crowd here, there are others with way more to say on this subject than me.

hi mevater , welcome to gye, it must be a frustrating feeling to feel yourself being pulled in a way that never affected you this way before , have you always had a anger issue, or does it coincide with your craving for pictures?
you wrote," What's the meaning of my life?"im not going to give you a mussar shmooze , but if you would ask me what am i here for ,well it started , along time ago,right before my Neshama (and yours)was sent down to this world, to my mothers womb,Hashem spoke to me,and said go down to this world and make
1.yourself and
2. the whole world
Holy and Kadosh,so my my Holy Shechina will be able to descend and rest in the world-ve`ose li Mikdash, veshachanti bisocham-Build for me a Bais hamikdash,so I can Dwell among you.
How does one make himself and afterwards others Holy?through ,Fear of Hashem(Awareness of Hashem) learning Torah,doing Mitzvos,Tikun Hamidos,Davening ,Chesed, and then influencing others to do the same,.thats Mekadesh a person and makes a Habitat for the Holy Shechina of Hashem and through this we will be rewarded with the greatest pleasure possible that all the pleasures of all mankind from the beginning of the world until the end if placed in one capsule couldnt equal one wiff of the reward thats waiting for us .im sure you knew all this ,the problem is that we keep on forgetting it and just have to be reminded it( myself included)
i wish you a lot of hatzlacha,there was a there was a time when i lost it with one of my sons ,while i was in fall mode  and regret it terribly(i was frustrated at myself at let the anger out  on poor little him).Please be mechazek yourself ,you and your family depend on it.im sure others here will give you better advice,stay connected,and keep on posting.
you said that you started to want to look at pictures ,thats great! you mean before you got married you had no issues with these things.wow!(i believe there are such Tzadikim around) anyway nice to meet you,im sure  that you came to the right place.hatzlacha vekol tuv!
i would like to suggest listening to Rabbi Avigdor Miller ZTLs shmoozin he really gives a person a feeling of accomplishment in doing his purpose in this world.(thats what works for me at least)

welcome mevater 
life can seem meanigless if it is meaningless we need to learn to connect to it's meaning these things don't happen automatically but your on the right path keep on searching there is light
and you don't even need to wait for the end of a long tunnel
hatzlocho

Welcome. you came to the right place. Keep posting. The ones who do bh get better. Others post once or twice and then disappear......

Welcome!  We're listening...

I will caution you against overthinking and intelectualizing.  It is usually just a way to avoid dealing with the real problem which is often surprisingly simple.

Thanks. What exactly do you mean by overthinking and intellectualizing? 

Welcome.  I can certainly relate to feeling emptiness, anger challenges and of course a taivah for inappropriate images.  The holy (small h) Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) describes me as having a G-D hole.  When I act inappropriately I am trying to fill the gap inside me.  The 12 Steps are intended to teach me how to fill that gap with a relationship with G-D and not with empty and often dangerous pursuits.  You don't sound as bad off as me, and if that is so, you are closer to fixed than you can imagine.  Look around the site and make use of the tools available.  Posting your feelings and struggles might be enough for you to fix what needs fixing.
Hatzlacha and Kol Tuv.
chaimyakov

I mean trying to "figure out" the nature of addiction etc.. Many think they have to "figure it out" before they can recover.  Really, just follow the lead of those that have been successful.  Use tools that have helped others.  Don't worry about understanding how/why it works.

It's like following doctors orders.  You trust a doctor and follow his advice.  He may give you some basic explanation, but that is really not that important.  It is the recovery actions that are important.