It sounds like your therapist was trying to help you avoid getting in "that mood" in the first place.  He was getting closer to the root of the problem.  Sounds wise to me.

gibbor120 wrote on 22 Feb 2018 20:48:

Oh a thousand percent!
That was the point that I was trying to make, that I’d thought we’d talk about breaking free from “that mood,” yet my therapist directed the conversation in a place which very likely might be more beneficial.

Its certainly a much less risky zone to deal with if you take a step back and try to take care not to even get into the mood that later causes a fall there you are two steps away from the fall and in more control so it sounds great to me

If someone knows that stress. boredom, loneliness, etc cause them to possibly act out, train yourself that way before the urge even comes to deal with the issue at hand. For many, exercise works very well to restore emotional balance - removing the danger of acting out. For others, a simple walk around the corner, a phone call to a friend - whether in "real life" or GYE, a good book, or writing down ten things Hashem did for them that day does the trick. The chevra that have developed pre-urge strategies all report that they are doing much better and are finding that they are having much less urges. 

It seems to be a common argument around here about the 12 steps if they are according to the torah or not 
one of those steps is about giving up total control to hashem knowing that i cannot do it myself and only HE can do it for me those against it claim that its our y"h and our responsibility to take charge alone there seems to be a gemorah that can be proof contrary to this point
The gemarah yomah 69: brings the story that the sages prayed for 30 days that the y"h of idol  worship be eradicated after that time they where given their request and the y"h was given over to them and done away with
This seems to be queer for if they still had the ability to fight it why cancel it and if they didn't have the ability to fight why didn't hashem cancel it with out their request the answer i heard (don't recall who said it but it was someone big) was that at times hashem will put us in situations where we don't have the ability with our own strengths to fight it but he demands from us to turn to him and request his help and that is our tafkid at such a time to turn to him and ask for his help
According to above we can add that the next gemorah which speaks about the y"h of lust and the sages wanted to cancel that also, seems to point that there is times\people in which
will not be able to mannage on their own and only by turning to hashem will they succeed
  

I know dov says the charts are not the real thing but it really gave me the push i needed 
i was going to browse things that i shouldn't and it was getting tough to resist the urge
what did it in the end was the thought of all the effort to reach so far just to lose it for a short gratification so for now thanks again for GYE and thanks for the chart 
Any good word would be appreciated as i still fear the desire will return

Whatever works for you should be continued. One thing that really worked for me was getting to speak to people who were successful. My being accountable to them, and having their advice and outstretched arms was and is invaluable.

HakolMilimala wrote on 22 Feb 2018 00:37:

When the journey before us appears to have no solution, always keep our Infinite friend with us, talk to our ONE, every battle has already been won here, listen even for 1 minute to five, in silence, even if nothing comes, that is five minutes of victory you did not have. I have special times when the power of the Almighty especially come to me, whatever that time and places are when you know you have heavenly help, go there, be there, come out inspired from there, battles are easily won, when you know you are on the winning side. I take a long breath, and think this breath is given me, as a spark of life, it is for my good, and family good, I find the best water available, I drink a full cup, O Master of righteousness I hope all day to drink with you, let this be our today covenant, I will drink a least 8 cups, and often up to 1 gallon of water in a day, and when I go to the bathroom, I think this is the only substance of water I pour out of my body, outside my love pour out for my wife, and deeds of kindness for my family, etc. The day has time to breath and drink, and during it, I often breath and drink, I will find a purpose of motive in these simple acts to move me forward in right, and not in shame.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 08 Mar 2018 07:45:

How does the being accountable work 

ayidel wrote on 07 Mar 2018 16:26:

Dov does not say charts are not real, just most likely not a good long term solution, because what happens when you are past your made up goal of so many days.

So my understanding is this, I do use the chart as motivation to keep me sober, mostly because without being sober I don't think clearly. I hope that during this time I work on myself to make the changes necessary for lasting success, one day at a time.

Hatzlacha.

ayidel wrote on 07 Mar 2018 16:26:

i agree to hashem help me, whatever works for you ,thats the way , chazak!

Hakolhevel wrote on 09 Mar 2018 05:54:

Your idea is great and what i've tried to do but i do recall dov saying that its just a gimmick but i probably
have not heard him enough to really know 
By the way is there a place that you can hear all his recording as i just got to it by finding links in other threads

@ayidel: guardyoureyes.com/tools/shiurim

there's Dov's Recovery Talks and Dov's 12-Step Workshop

ayidel wrote on 08 Mar 2018 14:05:

We call each other every day to report what is going on. Knowing that i will have to do so is a big detterent, but also keeps me focused. After a while it develops into daily texts and a call once in a while...

Hashem Help Me wrote on 09 Mar 2018 12:23:

Being accountable can give you someone almost holding your hand throughout the day. Even when you are in isolation, and would potentially act out, you know that you’re buddy who cares about you is going to know about this, and you don’t want to disappoint. This can remove that isolated feeling. The goal is recovery.