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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 13:54 #300350

  • will Succeed Beh
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Singularity wrote on 19 Dec 2016 09:19:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 15 Dec 2016 19:04:

Singularity wrote on 15 Dec 2016 11:45:
The 3-second rule is a good relieving factor. I haven't really achieved it myself. But it gives you 3 seconds if you happen to glance (NOT a heter to glance), but to look, APPRECIATE, then look away.
Appreciate? Yes, Hashem has put lots of natural beauty into this world. It's a Chessed. Just like a guy walking down a block of very fancy houses may admire the architecture and stunning design. 
But when he craves the house for himself and will stop at nothing to get it, it becomes a bit dangerous. 

Strong point, 

Just there is a big difference between houses and women, Houses there is no problem looking on it and enjoying it (craving is - Lo Sachmod), But looking at a women a enjoying looking is a problem of - Lo Sosuru.

True. True....
Are male Gynaecologists being oiver lo Sasuru? Still don't understand how that can be allowed >.>
If not (in an halachic sense), then we'll need to find the geder of the issurSasuru... a stronger lashon than sis'Taklu

The Geder is quit clear, looking at a women is not forbidden (there is a midas hachasidus - not chasidishe minhag), not to look at all, but the Isur Min Hatorah is to look & analise or look for enjoyment.

Thats as far as i know, please correct me if incorrect!
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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 14:41 #300362

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will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Dec 2016 13:54:

Singularity wrote on 19 Dec 2016 09:19:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 15 Dec 2016 19:04:

Singularity wrote on 15 Dec 2016 11:45:
The 3-second rule is a good relieving factor. I haven't really achieved it myself. But it gives you 3 seconds if you happen to glance (NOT a heter to glance), but to look, APPRECIATE, then look away.
Appreciate? Yes, Hashem has put lots of natural beauty into this world. It's a Chessed. Just like a guy walking down a block of very fancy houses may admire the architecture and stunning design. 
But when he craves the house for himself and will stop at nothing to get it, it becomes a bit dangerous. 

Strong point, 

Just there is a big difference between houses and women, Houses there is no problem looking on it and enjoying it (craving is - Lo Sachmod), But looking at a women a enjoying looking is a problem of - Lo Sosuru.

True. True....
Are male Gynaecologists being oiver lo Sasuru? Still don't understand how that can be allowed >.>
If not (in an halachic sense), then we'll need to find the geder of the issurSasuru... a stronger lashon than sis'Taklu

The Geder is quit clear, looking at a women is not forbidden (there is a midas hachasidus - not chasidishe minhag), not to look at all, but the Isur Min Hatorah is to look & analise or look for enjoyment.

Thats as far as i know, please correct me if incorrect!

II generally do not get involved in such discussions, but when you pasken about lookin' at a woman, are you referrin' to one dressed or undressed? Are you referring to a livin' one?
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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 14:51 #300363

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What i mean is looking as of seeing, not looking on purpose, when seeing an undressed women i think the first look isnt the problem, the 2nd look, the stare and the thoughts after is.

Again i am not a Posek and do not pretend to be. if anyone knows different ill be happy to hear!
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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 14:56 #300365

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will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Dec 2016 14:51:
What i mean is looking as of seeing, not looking on purpose, when seeing an undressed women i think the first look isnt the problem, the 2nd look, the stare and the thoughts after is.

Again i am not a Posek and do not pretend to be. if anyone knows different ill be happy to hear!

Seems to me that's wrong.

Undressed..... The first look IS a problem. There might be cases where it was unavoidable, but one is forbidden to look in the first place.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 15:01 #300367

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cordnoy wrote on 19 Dec 2016 14:56:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Dec 2016 14:51:
What i mean is looking as of seeing, not looking on purpose, when seeing an undressed women i think the first look isnt the problem, the 2nd look, the stare and the thoughts after is.

Again i am not a Posek and do not pretend to be. if anyone knows different ill be happy to hear!

Seems to me that's wrong.

Undressed..... The first look IS a problem. There might be cases where it was unavoidable, but one is forbidden to look in the first place.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

You are right, as Chazal say one should not go to a place where he could get to see inappropriate things.

But lets say you walk down the street and you see an a Pritzoh Meriba al Haomed have you sinned? you couldnt have known that she would apear!
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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 15:04 #300369

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will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Dec 2016 15:01:

cordnoy wrote on 19 Dec 2016 14:56:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Dec 2016 14:51:
What i mean is looking as of seeing, not looking on purpose, when seeing an undressed women i think the first look isnt the problem, the 2nd look, the stare and the thoughts after is.

Again i am not a Posek and do not pretend to be. if anyone knows different ill be happy to hear!

Seems to me that's wrong.

Undressed..... The first look IS a problem. There might be cases where it was unavoidable, but one is forbidden to look in the first place.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

You are right, as Chazal say one should not go to a place where he could get to see inappropriate things.

But lets say you walk down the street and you see an a Pritzoh Meriba al Haomed have you sinned? you couldnt have known that she would apear!

Please read what I wrote above.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 15:09 #300370

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BEH: Depends on you. Does looking in an analytical, raw sense make you lust? I know it would for me. So I steer clear.
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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 15:21 #300372

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It for sure depends on everyone's personal position.

But there is Raw hard Halocho as well. i once heard/saw a difference between Histakles and Reiyeh (הסתכלות\ראיה) not sure what it was, and trying to work it out:flushed:, maybe i am mistaken!
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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 20:03 #300401

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HayomYom wrote on 15 Dec 2016 15:16:

Singularity wrote on 15 Dec 2016 11:45:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 15 Dec 2016 11:08:
15 DAYS

טו כסלו

Half the CLEAN KISLEV Project! B''h 

Mazeltov!!! I'm so proud of you. Keep shining!


I like that CLEAN KISLEV idea. Keep it up and you'll soon have a Lichtigeh Chanukah - להודות ולהלל

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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 19 Dec 2016 20:22 #300404

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will Succeed Beh wrote on 19 Dec 2016 15:21:
It for sure depends on everyone's personal position.

But there is Raw hard Halocho as well. i once heard/saw a difference between Histakles and Reiyeh (הסתכלות\ראיה) not sure what it was, and trying to work it out:flushed:, maybe i am mistaken!

I second that, ראיה is many times unavoidable, by the time you know that you should not look you've already seen it, הסתכלות on the other hand is when you gaze at something and that usually is avoidable.

Once heard from a rav that what we say in krias shima ולא תתורו... "אחרי" עיניכם, means that you shouldn't go after that which comes "after" your eyes, your eyes see something unintentionally - that's on God, what Hashem wants from us is not to take that second look, that which comes "after" your eyes have already seen something, that second look usually belongs more in the gazing category and that's הסתכלות.
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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 20 Dec 2016 14:04 #300520

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Hi a YidFinMonsey
Thanks

Looks like your having a week preparation to Chanuka, Thats amazing!
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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 20 Dec 2016 14:29 #300525

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will Succeed Beh wrote on 20 Dec 2016 14:04:
Hi a YidFinMonsey
Thanks

Looks like your having a week preparation to Chanuka, Thats amazing!

In my world there's no preparation for anything, I'm trying to be sober today for today only, not for yesterday and not for tomorrow
You're better than yesterday but not as good as you're gonna be tomorrow. - Harvey

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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 20 Dec 2016 14:31 #300526

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YidFromMonsey wrote on 20 Dec 2016 14:29:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 20 Dec 2016 14:04:
Hi a YidFinMonsey
Thanks

Looks like your having a week preparation to Chanuka, Thats amazing!

In my world there's no preparation for anything, I'm trying to be sober today for today only, not for yesterday and not for tomorrow

Yes! but you can have a longer term goal in your head as well for additional push & satisfaction. 
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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 20 Dec 2016 17:21 #300569

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Yeah, one can work on long-term goals on a day-to-day basis. There's a difference between a goal and a plan, and even plans are fine sometimes. I know a sober guy who's an event planner, how the heck is he supposed to do that without planning? My long-term goal is to have a family, I'm working towards that on a day-to-day basis by working the 12 steps and doing what I need to do to stay sober.
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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 20 Dec 2016 17:29 #300572

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Shlomo24 wrote on 20 Dec 2016 17:21:
Yeah, one can work on long-term goals on a day-to-day basis. There's a difference between a goal and a plan, and even plans are fine sometimes. I know a sober guy who's an event planner, how the heck is he supposed to do that without planning? My long-term goal is to have a family, I'm working towards that on a day-to-day basis by working the 12 steps and doing what I need to do to stay sober.

Beautiful! Thanks Shlomo24
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