Singularity wrote on 12 Dec 2016 13:15:

I did try researching the 12 Step method but didnt get anywhere look here!

Last update.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/10-MINI-GYE-COMMUNITIES/299533-Group-196?limit=15&start=30#299716

Hi

Up to my Bar Mitzveh today,

A really good feeling.

Going strong on the CLEAN KISLEV Project.

Be"h WE ALL will succeed

will Succeed Beh wrote on 13 Dec 2016 19:22:

Mazel tov and lot's of Yiddish Nachas deKedushah!
At the rate you're going, be"H you'll soon be an Alter Bochur.
(Here at GYE time flies when we're havin' fun.)

Maybe you don't need 12 steps. If you go to sa.org, they have a questionnaire if you need it or not.

But my filter blocks sa.org (IRONYYYY). 

Here is the SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) questionnaire. This is a good gauge.

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual behavior or romantic fantasies from those important to you? Do you lead a double life? 
            Yes_____   No_____
2. Have your desires driven you to have sex in places or with people you would not normally choose? 
            Yes_____   No_____
3. Do you need greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or relief? 
            Yes_____   No_____
4. Does your use of pornography occupy large amounts of time and/or jeopardize your significant relationships or employment? 
            Yes_____   No_____
5. Do your relationships become distorted with sexual preoccupation? Does each new relationship have the same destructive pattern which prompted you to leave the last one? 
            Yes_____   No_____
6. Do you frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex? Do you feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter? 
            Yes_____   No_____
7. Have your sexual practices caused you legal problems? Could your sexual practices cause you legal problems? 
            Yes_____   No_____
8. Does your pursuit of sex or sexual fantasy conflict with your moral standards or interfere with your personal spiritual journey? 
            Yes_____   No_____
9. Do your sexual activities involve coercion, violence, or the threat of disease? 
            Yes_____   No_____
10. Has your sexual behavior or pursuit of sexual relationships ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal? 
             Yes_____   No_____
11. Does your preoccupation with sexual fantasies cause problems in any area of your life - even when you do not act out your fantasies? 
             Yes_____   No_____
12. Do you compulsively avoid sexual activity due to fear of sex or intimacy? Does your sexual avoidance consume you mentally? 
             Yes_____   No_____

I've answered "Yes" to all but around 3. I'm in need of help. SAA says even if you've answered yes to ONE of them, you're a good candidate. Think about it.

How do you start? Here's a powerful yesod:

Birkas haTorah and Birkas haMazon are both De'oraisa. Why is the former said Before the activity and the latter said After? 
Because Hashem needs us to express the thanks at the moment we least wish to give. Picture it. You've watched your weight all day. Snacked on fruits, eaten healthy. But are famished. And you get to a Sheva Brochas. And there are hot, homemade rolls, slithers of piping hot, juicy, rare roast, lemon-grilled chicken, all the works. Your jaw drops. You don't even need a svorah to want to thank Hashem for the bounty.
But when you've eaten 3 or 4 roast sandwiches, scarfed down 2 rolls, eaten a half of chicken. Well, you don't feel so good anymore, do you. You feel normal. A bit stuffed. And now you need to say thanks? But that feeling isn't there anymore! Ugh! you see?
And now the converse. Birkas haTorah is said before. Why? With spiritual matters, if you are standing before something that will benefit you greatly, make you grow etc, it all looks too daunting. You want to sleep for longer, NOT get up and have that chavrusa. Rather watch TV than visit your sick acquaintance. It's the copout. 
But once you're knee-deep in a sugya. Well, you wish you could stay there forever. So the Brocha comes when you're NOT grateful for it, when it goes against the human urge to express thanks.

So too with 12 steps. You can deliberate about it all you want. you won't see the geshmak until you start. Just start. Go to a meeting. That's a start. Who cares if they're on step 1 or step 11? 

Wow that was Yeshivish! 

My experience was different than Singularity. This is not an argument, just different experiences. I found that the more involved I got in SA the more grateful I was. I didn't get that stuffed feeling ever. The more I'm a part of my wonderful program the more I want to be a part of it. I sure as hell didn't want to be a part of 12-step some years ago. I even said "I will never go to an SA meeting." But now I can't imagine life without it. It gives me my breath to breath every single day.

Shlomo24 wrote on 14 Dec 2016 13:15:

II don't think he said different.
 at least on the point I saw.
He was saying that you don't wanna go in beginning, but once you go, it will be geshmak.

Scarf down sandwiches....hmmmm.

MustI be a land down under thing.

cordnoy wrote on 14 Dec 2016 13:47:

Ok. Maybe I misunderstood.

You trying to tempt me?

now smile and give me a veg-o-mite sandwich!

(wrong land down under!!!---)

Singularity wrote on 14 Dec 2016 13:57:

Hold up. I need to barf.

Shlomo24 wrote on 14 Dec 2016 13:57:

I think. The Mashal for the 12 step program is the Birkas HaTorah, NOT the Birkas haMazon.

Singularity wrote on 14 Dec 2016 13:57:

II know

South African version would be something like this: (Same tune)

Travelling in a fried-out minibus Taxi
On Jan Smuts Avenue, mouth full of boeries
I paid a strange lady, she ironed my new shirts,
Went to the sink and washed my dishes
And she said:

"Do you come from the golden Jozi,
Where townships roar and men toyi-toyi,
Can't you hear, can't you hear that Zuma?
You better run, you better take cover."

Buying bread from a man in Hillbrow
He was six foot four and full of Dagga
I said, "Do you know where Houghton is?"
He just smiled and stole my wallet and ID
And he said:

"I come from a the golden Jozi
Where Rugby is played and men stampede,
Can't you hear, can't you hear the Zuma,
You better run, you better take cover." (yeah)

Lying in a cell in Norwood,
Shot a man trying to steal my firewood
The cop said to me, "Are you trying to tempt me?
That's okay, we welcome all forms of bribery!"
And he said:

"Do you come from the golden Jozi,
Where townships roar and men toyi-toyi,
Can't you hear, can't you hear that Zuma?
You better run, you better take cover."