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TOPIC: introduction 1560 Views

introduction 31 Oct 2016 00:04 #297051

  • shtikbord
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Hi ppl! I'm a 22 yr old bochur and I haven't had a very good relationship with my bed as far back as I can remember... whenever I'm in bed its like a porn addict holding a smartphone without any filters... I have forgotten how to fall asleep normally and naturally... sometimes I make to five in the morning without any action until I fall asleep.  Any suggestions?

Re: introduction 31 Oct 2016 00:34 #297052

  • cordnoy
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Welcome,

Good to have you here.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: introduction 31 Oct 2016 00:55 #297054

  • teshuvahguy
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Glad you came to GYE. we can't fix the problem but we can try to help YOU fix it! 

Anything we can do to help, I know the guys here will do. They have been wonderful to me. 

I wish you success. 

Re: introduction 31 Oct 2016 04:00 #297061

  • shlomo24
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Welcome. Suggestion? Melatonin.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: introduction 31 Oct 2016 13:46 #297066

  • gibbor120
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Welcome!  Your predicament is not uncommon.  My guess is that your troubles start before bedtime.  How is your shmiras aynayim during the day?  Do you fantasize during the day, or only at night?  It will take work and probably some sleepless nights to break the pattern, but it can be done.  A wholistic approach is required though to both day and night.

Take a look at the handbook.  See if anything speaks to you.  Keep posting and tell us more.  There is usually more to tell.  The good news is, others have successfuly broken this pattern/habbit/addiction...

Re: introduction 31 Oct 2016 13:52 #297069

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There may also be other triggers at play here. Fear, anxiety, depression, anger, lonliness etc.  Those negative emotions probably come out at night.

Is there something engaging you can do until you fall asleep like reading a good book?

Re: introduction 01 Nov 2016 00:15 #297105

  • dm
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Dear friend!

First and foremost, go get a filter on your smartphone immediately. Before this is done, nothing can be done.

Then, you definitely have a strong sense of imagination. So how about you try to replace your thoughts with other imaginations and fantasies that you desire, like being a millionaire or billionaire, having a nice car or house, being a star, or maybe a big rebbe or rosh yeshiva, etc., etc. In addition, during the day try to put your head and thoughts into that other desires by thinking, reading, or researching on it.

I would also recommend you to read in the stories section the latest story there. "From Bondage to Freedom." If this man could've break free so can most of us.

I wish you great success! 
Have a clean night!

Re: introduction 01 Nov 2016 03:26 #297118

  • bigmoish
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Anybody know who this guy is who introduces himself by giving strict orders in red ink? 
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: introduction 01 Nov 2016 16:30 #297144

  • cordnoy
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II imagine myself as a millionaire....And that is where my fantasies begin.

Mmmmm.....

Heaven on this earth.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 01 Nov 2016 16:30 by cordnoy.

Re: introduction 04 Nov 2016 16:55 #297320

  • shtikbord
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  I was clean for three days from when I posted and then I fell down, down, down, down . feel like a pere adam. the thing is, that after the first fall I only feel slight feelings of guilt, and then I do it again and again until I feel like an animal, and its hard to retain those feelings and even the perspective of aversion for this thing when I decide to quit until I act out again . those are my feelings posted for today.

Re: introduction 04 Nov 2016 17:17 #297321

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Sorry to hear that.

Perhaps tell us what has worked in the past for you and what has not.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: introduction 04 Nov 2016 17:44 #297325

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being very active a whole day seems to help. strong shmiras einayim during the day definitely helps. (hard stuff) . Doing or learning complicated stuff before bed has definitely not helped. listening to talk radio in bed does not seem to have helped. (I thought it would). listening to a jewish related class in bed seems to have helped.  taking a shot alcohol before bed seems to sometimes help (if I'm already in a relaxed mood, if not it seems to only make me more  excited)

Re: introduction 04 Nov 2016 18:13 #297327

  • shtikbord
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Oh, and touching or thinking about ANY part of your body definitely does help. it seems that a jew has to view his body as something that he owns and is responsible for, and nothing more. I think that its actually a therapeutic way of falling asleep naturally because you are leaving your body in a way.   

Re: introduction 04 Nov 2016 19:15 #297329

  • shlomo24
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Well, a common relaxation technique is to focus on how one's body feels and just breathe deeply. I find it quite calming.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: introduction 04 Nov 2016 20:01 #297331

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correction in the first line of my previous post, I meant  to say does NOT help.
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