I like the vort (though I know very little about the 12 steps)! 

incredible. Thanks for sharing 

Can I get some input. I had to go to the doc last week. Only appointment available was with a Female doc. Who turned out to be a young blond etc friendly doc. So I figured my options are 1. enjoy (not really an option) 2. Don't look at her at all and try to think about something else the whole time or 3. Make eye contact and think of her as a person with whom I can be polite and courteous but still not lust for her. So I tried the third option. It worked as far as not fantasizing which I used to do but I did enjoy the conversation and interaction (which I wouldnt have if she was old, ugly, and male). And I had to go back the next day to follow up. Which, unfortunately, I found myself looking forward to. And it felt good the second time when she greeted me with a big smile.
I normally have very limited of that kind of interaction with women (I'm still in kollel). But how should I have approached this. (this is a practical question cause I have to go back this week. Also cause this is always a practical question). 
Was that simply the addiction talking when I said this is the healthier way to behave. Should I have just looked away and not really cared what she would think ( I wanted her to think well of me).
Thanks

That's a great question. I had a similar experience over Pesach when I went to my optometrist to get my new glasses adjusted. Turns out that a female optometrist was subbing that day because it was a Sunday. It was a weird feeling when she was touching my face to adjust the glasses as she was quite an attractive woman. I don't think I was actively lusting at any point, but having a "permissible" interaction with an attractive woman feels good for a man. In retrospect, I'm not sure how I was supposed to handle that. 

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 21 Jun 2016 04:41:

I can't pasken, but let's try to analyze this. Do you think that she felt any, let's call it, "electricity" for you? One would assume that she did not, as she was acting in a professional capacity (and undoubtedly does this tens of times a day) and I'm sure that she had nothing else in mind but fitting you for glasses.

We can compare this to handing money to the cashier at the bakery and her giving back the change. There is (hopefully) no reason to get aroused from that interaction. The optometrist is no different, other than that there is some physical contact. But that contact is sterile from her point of view and there is no relationship of any type between you. 

Thus, anything you may have felt was nothing more than a phantom, an illusion in your mind.

And the same applies to you Jake08. You were perhaps looking forward to the visit, but to her (once again, hopefully) you represented a job, a chore that had to be done.

So in such a case I would counsel you both to approach such a situation with the realization and mindset that this is a robotic act and there is nothing sexual here.

Happy Guy wrote on 22 Jun 2016 01:13:

I dont really understand your response. All lusting is an illusion in my mind. I never need the woman or item in question to reciprocate my lust in order to lust or fantasize about her/it. She can be very sterile and I can still lust. 
The question was what is the best balance to aim to strike for when having a normal interaction with a normal woman (who is prob not lusting for me). But she is being friendly, nice, and agreeable which sometimes makes it enjoyable. (In this case, yesterday when I went back to her she stood about three inches away from me the entire time when talking to me, and clearly didnt have many appointments after me that she was in a rush to. No she wasnt feeling electricity, she was being normal and shooting the breeze in a friendly manner with a patient. Not easy for an addict).
Anyway when walking in there I felt I was in less control of the situation then if there would have been a question of something graphic. Dont know why but that fuzzy feeling of good connection was too overwhelming.  I didt want to but I really spoke to hashem saying just that, that this time I really couldnt stop and would let him help.  On a scale of 1-10 it was about a 3. I thought it would be 9. B'H

Did anyone have success with the partner program on GYE? I am interested in getting a partner/sponsor to works the  12 steps and be in phone or personal contact with. Is that the best way?

If you join one of the anonymous GYE calls you can get a sponsor that way. Send an email to Duvid Chaim (duvidchaim@gmail.com) or Captain Steve (steve.s.613@gmail.com).

I have not seen anyone report on the forum that the GYE partner program has worked for them.  I have seen many that have said it has not.  Just my observation.

I fell today. Worst part was I knew it was coming. Sleepless nights, lots of pressure, and other stuff. But mainly just wasn't working on recovery at all. Not in touch with anyone, not even the call at 1:20 (sure hope thats restarted soon). And letting things just slide. Oh well, I got what  was  coming to me.
Gotta re-evaluate my game plan. Get more serious about recovery. Find and connect more.
Interestingly, this was the first time that I fell that I fully realized I was just looking to escape my own dreariness and drown myself in a feel good escape. 
On a slightly better note afterwards I went to second seder and didnt drown in self pity. Thats something I was never able to do. Not sure if thats because I'm really trying to focus on whats next or just ignoring what happened. I hope I can view this as a bump in a long road, not a complete collapse. Though it sure does stink.

How long was your streak? 

156 days though last few days had some slips

Jake108

Sounds similar to me.
I had a good clean streak then fell due to pressure, and like you, I felt it was coming, I felt it all build up and by the time it was close it was like I was out of my mind, like I was drunk, so I had no defences left to stop the fall.

After the fall though, my mind is clear as a bell.

All I can do for the future are to try to read the warning signs as early as possible.

jake08 wrote on 05 Jul 2016 22:52:

Sure does. But 156 days. Wow. It's locked into your account upstairs לנצח

gibbor120 wrote on 05 Jul 2016 15:28:

OK so I'll report. I didn't do the official GYE Partner page, but someone asked on the forum, we emailed, and quickly moved to texting. I'm the sponsor, he texts me when he's having a nisayon, and he pulls through! Sometimes just checks in. It's nice to have someone to connect with who's playing the same sport as you.