Hello,
This is my first post. A little intro: I've been struggling with this for about 6 years now. I signed up for the chizuk emails & started browsing the GYE website. I recently installed filters on my devices & have been somewhat successful at minimizing my falls. I still have difficulty when I'm out in the street controlling my eyes & thoughts... I would like to tell my wife about my problem but not sure the best way to do that. Any suggestions?

Welcome!

It may not be wise to tell her just yet. I believe the experts say it is best to have a significant period of "cleanliness" before mentioning anything to the wife.
To illustrate, imagine your wife admits to you that she's been flirting with a guy online for a few years, but she's over it and she just wants to come clean. You ask when the last time she contacted him was and she says it hasn't happened for AT LEAST 2 weeks...

Welcome to our heiliger club!!

On the street I find it helpful to look at each temptation as if it's the only one I have to face. I just have to not look at this one. It's really just for a few seconds, then the nisayon is over.

For the thoughts, I find it helpful to talk to Hashem directly and ask him to take them as soon as they come. Every time. The key to sobriety is consistency. Each time. One test at a time. One day at a time.

My opinion is not to talk to your wife until you have some sobriety under your belt. She will most likely feel hurt either way, but it's not fair to have her worry that you're not keeping clean.

Welcome.

I'm also new here and also used to struggle a lot B"H its much better now.

Congratulation on first steps to get better, your reward is great.

Praying to hashem is one the biggest solutions to help this out.

Some other tips are:

Do a lot of exercise.
Take cold showers.
Try distracting yourself with other thoughts.

Thank you all! I look forward to my journey to complete cleanliness!

WELCOME GY,

Your are 2/3 of the way to GYE. We just have to think of a good last name that starts with 'E'. Like Gutte Yid Everyday or something .

You are in the right place. Many have been helped here. Keep posting and reading.

I agree, leave the wife out of it for now. First, work on your own sobriety. Read the handbook. Check out some of the links in my signature.

Mesayin wrote:


they may do the trick if your not addicted

Mesayin wrote:


Welcome to the both of you.

Great to hear that your struggles are in the rear view mirror.