Hi all,

I am back!

Ok, im going through a divorce (not due to watching inappropriate stuff) and live threrefor on my own. It gets quite lonely on non-working days and evenings and I started keeping myself busy with watching movies and pornography r"l. I have so much work to do for my job and other stuff, but instead I watch all sort of junk. I hope anyone can give me some sage advice how to get on with my evening and not feeing the need to watch other junk.

Thnks to all

See the links to the GYE Handbook and tools below. Follow and Do everything suggested there.

While you follow thru on Serneity's suggestion it may also be helpful to find fun actvities to do so the mind is not stuck wandering. Yes its not the ultimate resoultion. But I my humble novice opinon you need two things. A short term plan and a long term plan. The short has to be stuff that will for the time being get the mind off lust. The long term surrender that lust.

Lots of luck. And if you would be in your shoes I'd be worse. I don't envy your nisoyan. Stay strong!

First of all I wish you the best in your situation and wish you the strength to handle any relationships in the best way possible (referring particularly to any kids if you have, and of course to your ex and anyone else that is impacted by this.) The dynamic makes taking the high road incredibly challenging, and the process (particularly working out custody and settlements) often require focusing on the negatives of the other person, so it is a serious hardcore Nisayon to be a Mentsch. B"Hatzlacha and know the people here are pulling for you.

On the issues you mention, without knowing too much regarding the specifics it would be hard to say, but a thought would be to find things you enjoy doing and people you enjoy spending time with. Also, if you have people who you have talk to (real talk) definitely don't overlook the value. A spouse fills many roles and a large part of your life (whether it was positive or negative) was involved in your dealings with and interactions with, your spouse. Much of that is gone.

Maybe see if you can find a Shiur or other activity you enjoy in the evenings, particularly one with other people you can connect to. Maybe there's an activity (bowling, basketball, chess etc.) that you can join where there will be people you can spend time with so you have some more human interaction.

Just some thoughts. Don't know enough to even call them recommendations since I don't know you enough (or know enough in general) to offer advice, so just some food for thought I guess...

I am sorry to hear about your situation and I pray that life picks up for you.

Regarding your question, I think you must address the desire of yours and the addictive behaviour. What is causing it? I do not believe that you will be able to keep yourself so busy with all the fun things mentioned above that you will just be too distracted and left with no time to view pornography. No, we/you/i will always find the time. Proof is your work that is suffering.

If you address it and you make a commitment to stop and you actually do for some time, then it would be a good idea to look for distractions.

B'hatzlachah to you.