I am bh on a nice "streak" right now of almost 1month clean. The reason I'm posting now is because I realize that in the beginning of any new start im always extremely psyched and find it easy to tell myself that I'll never look at porn again BUT after a few weeks I seem to be at a point where I push thoughts out of my head "for now" but in the deep recesses of my mind tell myself that soon in the future I'll just act out again and i won't feel this restriction and annoyance of having to hold back anymore. Well, that time for me is now. So I think it's important that I make a "mental drop" of porn from my head forever. Meaning, I need to believe that porn just isn't a possibility for me anymore. Period. I need to tell myself that unfortunately I may have to feel this pain of having to look away when a pretty woman passes or have to shoo a thought out of my head and never be able to act upon it anymore. So I'm doing that here. This is my proclamation. Watching porn ISNT AN OPTION ANYMORE. It'll hurt, but too bad. That's life.
Thanks for listening )

mr.clean wrote:


Perhaps write why it's not an option anymore. Up until know, it has been part of your/my life.....what changed?

Thanks for sharing, chaver. Congrats on your success! Forget about the future!!!

It's always good to remember that the pain you think you're feeling from resisting isn't what you think it is. In other words, your addiction is in your body trying to make it bend to its will. You are not that part of you that is desiring to lust. Or you could think of it more as withdrawal.

Point is, it isn't really pain, it's the addiction. I would venture to say that all of us here feel that. And the more you resist it, the weaker it becomes even if it never completely goes away.

Great job on making it so long without acting out, and I wish you many more days of sobriety!

Great proclamation. Shows that you are a serious guy and resolute to be done with the crud.
I am a big believer in this. However, we all know too well that this alone is far from meeting our needs for sobriety. How many times need we start afresh with a vigor to improve only to ...
To have that strong motivation is most useful and I would even argue essential. However, to legitimize this burst of inspiration is to have it attached to a real working program of recovery, focusing on each day as it arrives.

Then it won't leave you(betray you) as quickly as it came.

Hatzlocho!

Good for you!
I agree that this attitude of it no longer being an option is important.
It's also important to remember that practically, the way we do it is one day at a time.
Forever. One day at a time. Both.
Tricky business. Balancing act.

The "pain" of not looking, not acting out does get easier as we get some consistent practice. But the cravings never completely go away.

Continued Hatzlacha!

Perhaps write why it's not an option anymore. Up until know, it has been part of your/my life.....what changed?

Takeh!!
How do you come to believe in this phrase......................???

shlomoy wrote:


me or him?

Good call cordnoy:
The reason it isn't an option is bec even one time will have a dramatic effect on me. It's a slippery slope and I've been telling myself "only one more time" for years now. It's over. I can't afford it. I'm a happier healthier person when I am clean and I want to stay that way... A few hours of pleasure isn't worth that.

mr.clean wrote:


Thanks; I didn't know you were on today.
We start step 1 tomorrow.

actually you....and him too.....