Just got an early start at day 18, I like to click "still clean" as early as possible because then I have to live up to it.
Anyway it's not clever to be on the computer at 5:05 in the morning, so I"ll leave now get some sleep and schep kochos to make my way, on second thought - follow Hashem's way, through a well guarded and clean day.

Wasting too much time, I'm gone.

I'm back, B"H nothing happened during my sleep,I guess thinking about Hashem before sleeping helps immensely.

I'm gonna be alone with the computer this afternoon, I can't manage this myself, I'm giving it up to Hashem.

B"H, nothing happened on Friday cleanliness wise, I stayed away from the computer most of the time, and even when I was on I stayed on GYE. Although I did read a book that doesn't fit with my hashkofoh but 90 day count wise and lust wise I'm clean.
BORUCH HASHEM.

HONESTY. HONESTY. HONESTY.
That's the way to go.
But I have a real dilemma, I slipped and watched something today, but it wasn't p***, it was just a mixed clip with woman singing in the background, didn't lead to Z"L, but I feel, that unless stopped, it's the beginning of a slippery slope back into hardcore stuff, am I to classify this as a FALL or a SLIP?

I got some good advice from a friend to classify it as a slip, which ;means I have to learn bli hefsek with my phone turned off for 1/2 hour today, I have to prepare a shiur but I don't want to use that because I would've been doing it anyway, so I"ll be finding another half hour to fulfill my small knas.

That's the past taken care of, however in order to take care of the future I have to examine the past to discover what led me to slip.
After much examination and self introspection (exaggeration!) I uncovered the cause of my slip it being, not getting enough sleep Thursday night, which led me to start a series of books on Friday, which then led me to continuing the series the WHOLE Motze Shabbos (till Eight in the morning), all this reading done online, which led me to googling images of the characters in the book. Anoshim. Noshim V'Taf. Which brought me to the clip

I feel like I'm speaking to myself!

But that reminds me of my famous saying:

"THE FIRST SIGN OF MADNESS, IS SPEAKING TO YOURSELF.
THE SECOND SIGN IS...


Jokes aside I can see the views gong up, so i know there are a few silent listeners.

Well, B'Ezras Hashem, I'm holding at 21 days, that means three whole weeks clean, (with only 2 slips.)

Anyway I think I have to up my small knas, I learnt 1/2 hour yesterday bli hefsek and I enjoyed it so much I went on an extra 10 minutes than I broke, so I guess I'm upping my small knas to 45 minutes.

silent listener #54261 here saying hi

I'm back at Day 23, not been around past few days 'cause I've not been on the internet at all.

A doctor or professor once asked the Pnei Menachem, "What'a wrong with Kol Isho? I hear it very often and I'm not aroused at all, It must just be some archaic belief!"
The Pnei Menachem answered "There's the Bedouin who can walk barefoot on rough ground, spiky stones etc with no issue, but the modern gentleman can only wear shoes otherwise he"ll get cut etc, and who's considered archaic?!

I was thinking what about us who are "modern gentleman" and we've not only walked on barefoot on rough ground etc we've walked barefoot on blades and spikes, and we're barely healing how sensitive we must be to anything rough. וד"ל

I just finished skimming through "The Big Book" and decided to join a conference call going through it.
I've given up on myself long ago, for all I care I could be down in the dumps, but I've given myself up to Hashem's will and he made it very clear what He wants from me, and I'm doing my best to stand by his expectations.

We did step 8 and 9 today from the big book and white book.
Continuin' step 9 tomorrow.