bezrasH wrote:


bezrasH wrote:


It's do-able. You're struggling mightily.
Struggling because you're looking. You recognize that this fuels your lust.
This is why you feel like "it's all piling up on me." Because it is.
Yes, pretty girls are everywhere.
It's very, very hard not to look.
Especially when we're addicted to that little buzz we get when we do.
And the buzz we get when we start to fantasize.
Eventually these buzzes, these mini-doses of our lust drug build up our need for a lust feast.
We indulge it. We feel temporary relief. Then the misery repeats.

The only place we can break the cycle is with our eyes and our minds.
Yes, it hurts, kills, to look away, to fix our gaze on some inanimate object instead.
Over and over and over. Time after time. All freaking day long.
Every time. THIS time too.
But all we're ever asked to do is get past THIS nisayon.
Don't look THIS time.
Don't fantasize now.

Already noticed a fantasy grabbing hold of the brain?
Daven. Ask Hashem to take it. Verbally surrender it to Hashem.
Ask him to take your lust.
Tell him you don't want to lust; that you surrender your lust to Him.

One nisayon at a time.
One day at a time.
That's how life is lived.
That's how sobriety is achieved.
Just for today.

I did just what you're doing for over 30 years.
A prisoner of lust.
But I changed.
I can honestly say I haven't checked out a woman on the street in over 6 years.
And guess what -- I have been able to overcome the urge to do the other stuff for the same time.

You can do it.
One day at a time.
It adds up
to a life.

Of course ideally we can avoid those situations entirely.... this has just been helpful for me as I know there is no way for me to get to work, for example, without seeing tons of pritzus on the way. We should still be trying our best to avoid and davening that we aren't confronted with the nisayon to begin with.

Welcome aboard bezrasH. I'm also new here and have already gotten a warm welcome and good advice just in the 2 days I'm here! I know exactly how you grew up and am in a very similar situation. I even told myself the same things you have for years. I'm a little younger than you but can totally relate. Just keep posting and reading and you will gain a lot of support and advice. We are together in this. Keep it up!

Thanks and welcome to you too!

You must be doing something right if ae posted on your thread, and a hell of a post it was. ..true odaat....for six years!

Bhatzlachah to all

One nisayon at a time.
One day at a time.
That's how life is lived.
That's how sobriety is achieved.
Just for today.

Thanks R' AlexEliezer - your words ("and success") are a tremendous chizzuk!

AlexEliezer - thanks so much for this post. incredible chizuk and much appreciated. Your success is inspiring!

Welcome bezrasH!!!

Your in the right place and doing the right thing b"h. Its all about staying in the all game and of course one day at a time.

Your a inspiration to all so Keep On Monster Trucking KOMT!!!

Okay so..... whats considered having a "fall" in this 90 day count? Lets just say I've had a rough start to my slow day at work and have looked at some things I shouldn't have.... should I be starting over? Or keep going with the count as long as I don't act on it.... I'm assuming I've failed already? any thoughts?

Check out the rules for what constitutes a slip or a fall. It doesn't cover everything but it's a good basis. It should be under the 90 day chart page.

Late Welcome but welcome
You made a great choice by joining this unbelievable community.

Stick around and you will learn what works for you and how to overcome your lust one step at a time one tip at a time.

bezrasH wrote:


Keep Goin'

Instead of making excuses for myself, I admitted it was a fall and Im starting again. The good news is, when I fall, it usually takes me days to get out of it, because I tell myself, I already fell, whats the use. But BH this morning I had an incredible test for a couple of hours with my computer, and I passed! Not gonna let this fall get me down.....
Thanks for everyone's encouragement. I'll get there bezras Hashem!

Really Glad you got up really fast
My experience is after a fall comes after shocks hold on really tight and be ready.
When you leave you house say a short prayer, it might help.

Rock on bro!