Hello !

I'm french and I have been a member of GYE for 2 years, but in the french site.
I am for the moment a little bit alone, so I have just decided to join you !

I began masturbating and seeing sexual image/videos more than 25 years ago.
I began religious 4 or 5 years ago, and I wanted stop it, but I have not been able.

I have tried every thing, including SA group : I have a sponsor, and I have created a live group with an other friend. I participate to 3 french meetings per week :2 by phone with francophone friends and one in live..

I have had some sober period (130 days max) few months ago, but it's not happening.

So I wander that I can do more..

Help me please !

Hi beneisrael thank you for sharing. You are trying many things please dont lose your faith in what you can do. I am not experienced in SA groups and i hope others here will share their knowledge. Let me ask you what is it that you were doing in the SA or the live group ? Are you working on the 12 steps ? Are you avoiding what you consider the triggers of your acting out ? Are you aware of your feelings of anxiety and RID ? To answer these questions is very important. Waiting for your reply. Hatzlacha !

Hi newaction, thanks for your reply, suddenly I feel less alone ! :-)

I don't lose my faith, I'm sure that Hachem will help me and all the people affected by this problem !

Yes, I'm working on the 12 steps.
I try to call at least 1 or 2 friends every day and I send several sms to my sponsor to share how I feel.
My sponsor is not Jewish but he's clean !

I don't know if I'm really avoiding my triggers.. thanks to the program, I'm trying to work to my self, especially my anger and resentment, which lead me to act out.

What is RID ?

Bienvenu benisrael,
Just saying bonjour.
You're among friends here and people have plenty of wisdom to share. I'll leave it to more experienced people to give you their thoughts. I hope no one wallops me for saying this: Breslov is quite big in France; the approach of tefilla and Emuna that rabbi shalom arush teaches has been very effective for me; maybe you want to look into it - on top of the SA programme you've been doing with limited success. The derech of Breslov doesn't replace SA; it is congruent with it and boosts it.
Hatzlacha.
Shlomo

bneisrael555 wrote:

RID is Restlessness, Irritability and Discontent all are explained in the big book of AA.
chatting to friends and a sponsor are all excellent things to help yourself . But the main load of the work is on yourself, your "fearless searching" of your character traits and how much do you let go and let G.od. The big book promises that if these are done thoroughly there has to be some change in your thinking process and you should see some results. You know , not acting out is only one of the things we are looking for . We really want our whole soul,body, and spirit back in our control and not under the bad influence of our malady. Hatzlacha in your journey.

Welcome to the English language site! Glad you're here! You're definitely not alone. Don't discount your sober periods. Looking forward to hearing more!

Hi BI,
You are doing way better than me but I see that by sticking with the program of SA, phone conferences and this website things are slowly turning around.
So bienevue and bon voyage.

Hello my new friends :-)

thank you for all your messages, it does me good

I would like let you know an important thing : I have serious problem with my wife and we will divorce. I have had lot of pain because of it for 3 years.
My wife doesn't want me anymore and she left our home.. I suffered of loneliness espacially during week end.. so I use to act out saturday night or sunday. I have lived with my parents for one year, but I still fill bad these days.
I know that I should find some things to do each week end, but I just can't.

Welcome Bneisrael555!!

You are certainly not alone, although your situation is painful, you have gotten yourself a whole lot of friends who truly care and feel for you!!

We cannot really help you with your divorce, but we can try to help you in staying clean.

you write that you should find things to do every week, but can't. Can you not find things, or is it that even if you find things, you don't end up doing it?

Hi Pidaini !

I don't know what can I do..
all my life has revolved around lust and I have no idea what can replace it..

I feel empty, and I have a feeling that nothing can fill me. I know that it's false.. That I have to find Hachem, but up until today I have been unable to find Him.

My sponsor just told me he can't help me anymore because I'm unable to be clean. He wants me to be clean for 1 month, and then I can call him again.

I try to keep my serenity but I fell a little bit bad .. and I have just searched a prostitute in internet. I went only one time with a prostitute, but she didn't want me.. so I want to try again. I know that all will be worst after such bad thing.. what's why I share it and I ask G.od to help me

bienvenue
Je suis désolé d'entendre parler de votre / notre lutte et au sujet de votre divorce.
Il est très difficile de passer par.
beaucoup ici ont du mal à rester propre, même pour une courte période.
certains (comme moi) ont du mal après longue période de temps, mais la ligne de fond est que nous continuons à trimer.
Nous voyons que dans vous.
n'abandonne pas!
Nous sommes ici avec vous.

merci cordnoy pour votre message de soutient, et en français !

ce est vraiment mon plaisir.
Je suis un homme de nombreux pays ces derniers temps (et qui n'a pas été bonne).
Je suis en train de mettre ma vie en main ici.
ceci est un enfer d'un bon endroit pour être.
Gardez sur le camionnage ami.

[et une personne message à Gevurah et Big Moish:. Je dois utiliser la touche "g" ici]

Salut Bne, ici Yossef ou "Echet ´hail mi yimtsa", je suis content de te voir sur le forum anglais.
Comme tu as pu le voir tu vas bénéficier de beaucoup plus de soutien ici et beaucoup plus rapidement ! Je suis choqué d'entendre ce que t'as dis ton sponsor je pensais qu'au contraire c'est dans les moments difficiles qu'il fallait qu'il soit le plus présent ! En tout cas soit fort et ne cède pas a la tentation, tu sais qu'après le sentiment de culpabilité sera plus fort que le plaisir !
Si je peux te donner un conseil, il y a beaucoup beaucoup d'histoires a lire sur le forum et ça donne beaucoup de courage de voir comme les gens ont changé et en plus de faire passer le temps alors tu peux essayer !
On est avec toi ne lâche pas !


Translation for the others : I know Bne because we are kind of the 2 "active" members on the french forum. So I'm happy to see him here where he would benefit for more good advices and help. I added that I was chocked that his sponsor just left him in such a bad period..
Anw thank you all for helping the klal !
And happy to see cordnoy is back !