A couple of years ago i was making another "new" commitment to stop surfing where i shouldn't, and chanced upon GYE. I read some articles and forums, and convinced myself i had it in me to stop on my own.

Backing up a couple years further when i was about 13, i "discovered" myself. Shortly thereafter began searching Google images of woman dressed immodestly, which led a couple months later to watching porn for my first time. It was never something i did constantly, or needed "fixes" every week. It was more episodes of a day or two max a week, then i would gain "control" for a month or two till the next episode. This went on all through yeshiva, always convincing myself i was getting closer to actually stopping. Of course like i'm reading over and over here, i went through the stages of feeling despondent, abnormal, alone etc, hoping marriage would change everything.

Fast forward 12 years, everyone knows the end of that story. Got married, had a baby little less than a year in. From the get go our relationship was shaky at best, to top that all off one day she found history on my search for porn. She allegedly understood me and didn't hold it against me. I made a commitment there and then NEVER AGAIN! Well a few months later, with all the baggage we had, our marriage succumbed to the weight. We got divorced, and the months following that were low for me. Falling without having the "get back up" which normally followed. Somehow by the grace of G-D, i managed to get myself out of the rut. Now close to 6 months since the divorce, i'm one month clean, and signed up to GYE, with the intention of spending lots of time with all the resources afforded here. It has been the best days iv'e had since my divorce. Feeling like i have a fighting chance, i'm not doing this alone. Now i truly believe with Hashem's help, and the support of GYE, i can beat this addiction, i can beat lust. I WILL REGAIN MY FREEDOM!!!

Welcome! May this be a checkpoint in your life. A point where you can look back and say " that was the turning point of my life." Look around there's a wealth of info here. Make a plan and stick to it like your life depends on it.............cuz it does.

And hey, I don't know you. But if you had the courage to post here you ain't a big shmo. Not in our eyes at least.

Welcome and thank you for posting I'm real sorry about your circumstance with the divorce and all and may you never know any more pain. The small step you just took, may easily be the giant step on the road to healing. We're here for you if you need anything so keep on posting!

i hope i will look back to this day iy"h. Thank you for your response.

Thank you! support in this journey is feels great.

Welcome to GYE! That was one heck of a first post. You sound like your headed in a healthy direction to me! Btw, if you have 30 days already from before you came here, you can set your 90 day chart start date in accordance with that.

Hatzlacha!

Welcome
That was some share.
Stick around.
there is a wealth of info here.

b'hatzlachah on life!

WELCOME! Sorry i don't have time for a longer post. Stick around. This place is GREAT!

thank you for the post it means a lot to me to hear im not the only one in my 20s struggling with pornography i am not married and seeking professional help with this. i used to tell myself marriage will solve my problems but the more i hear from married people it doesnt solve your issues the happier i am to be solving my issues before i get married. thank you in the most sincere way i possibly can

Nope, you're not alone. I'm 24 and single. It can be a scary ordeal, but we can make it.

im hoping i can im having a hard time with it and even seeing a psychologist to help me with it so its great to hear from others struggling with this issue to give me chizuk

I can tell you first hand, on top of the testimonials from others on this site and practically everywhere else, marriage will not solve it. For a very simple reason in my opinion, if i have a problem internally, than nothing external can resolve it, it must come from within. So good on you for taking initiative. I'm learning now that just signing up here isn't enough to break the addiction, it really equires hard work. If you try hard and keep trying whatever comes at you, Hashem will come through for you. Just know, your certainly not alone here in any way. Good luck 20 something year old friend

ditto to all of above.

b'hatzlachah