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A Poll - Your Biggest Concern
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TOPIC: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 22120 Views

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 20 Dec 2014 01:35 #245449

  • serenity
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I was mostly worried that this was a trick poll Once I realized it wasn't, I was worried that I wouldn't pick the popular answer! . I am very excited to find out that my answer is in the top percentile! What I'm really most worried about is the sick thinking that went through my mind analyzing the poll! It's kind of thinking that reminds me, I have a long way to go in recovery.

Thanks for this post, cordnoy!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 21 Dec 2014 15:27 #245461

  • doingtshuva
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I voted for - Eyes Wanderin' in Street

We say several times a day in Kriat Shima
לא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם
I wondered why is written do not stray after your hart and only after that do not stray after your eyes?
So I heard a nice Vort that explains that a persons hart strays only after what his eyes sees.

Keep on guarding your eyes = KOGYE
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 21 Dec 2014 17:06 #245466

  • cordnoy
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serenity wrote:
I was mostly worried that this was a trick poll Once I realized it wasn't, I was worried that I wouldn't pick the popular answer! . I am very excited to find out that my answer is in the top percentile! What I'm really most worried about is the sick thinking that went through my mind analyzing the poll! It's kind of thinking that reminds me, I have a long way to go in recovery.

Thanks for this post, cordnoy!


Pleasure.

I am a straight shooter; I am wonderin' what type of trick you think we were up to.
Every person is different, but perhaps you should think about your comment that you wanted your answer to be the most popular one. I have such an issue, not the same, but similar.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 21 Dec 2014 21:03 #245472

  • serenity
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Of course I want my comment to be popular and that is a defect of mine. As far as the "trick" goes, I feel that in my limited experience with you, that you often try to fix me and ask questions in order to discern something other than the immediate question is asking in an effort to lead me through a thought pattern. For example in your comment to me right now, instead of asking if I had thought about a certain aspect of my comment, you said "perhaps you should", so there is an assumption in your comment. Even as I write this, I believe that you are analyzing my statements ... Don't get me wrong, I do admire and appreciate your comments and your sobriety. I also realize my charachter defects that lead me into this this of thinking, but I don't think that detracts from the truth of it.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 21 Dec 2014 21:12 #245474

  • cordnoy
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Thanks!
It's true that I don't just write.
I wanna think myself and I like others to think.
I analyze statements in order to understand what the poster truly means.
I don't trick chas vashalom (and I am not sayin' that you said that I did).
when I first joined the site, my writin' style was even more cryptic.
I try now to be open and clear.

Thanks again.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 21 Dec 2014 21:16 #245475

  • serenity
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Now that I think about it, I'm not sure I know what I'm talking about. In think I mixed up a conversation I had with someone else, LOL. Thanks for your reply though, it was nice.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 21 Dec 2014 21:42 #245476

  • cordnoy
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No problem; keep up the good work!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Dec 2014 04:04 #245795

  • cordnoy
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It would seem to be that the third option was somethin' that might have been relevant to yechidim (like myself; a kinda master at that).
Does anyone have a suggestion for a third option?
Lust?
Fantasy?
Any ideas?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Dec 2014 04:38 #245798

  • serenity
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Losing hope, despair - other negative feelings.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Dec 2014 04:48 #245800

  • ehrliche.bochur
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I think I picked not very popular answer. But I am not sure how to put to words what most of the concerns I have. During the day I do let my eyes stray in the streets some times But I am working on this. The m"zl not very much if I am remaining occupied and not alone. This does not overtake me anymore because it is active choice. I can make the choice not to do this actions. I find it when I am alone without much to be occupied. In bed at night it is the most difficult my thoughts go to my sickness. But I do not allow myself to act out. It is the thoughts I feel powerless to. I do not invite them then why do they come to me at night
-"Все наши слова - пустой звук, если наше сердце не с нами"

-"есть око видят и ухо слышащее и все твои дела записываются в книгу

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Dec 2014 05:21 #245802

  • cordnoy
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ehrliche.bochur wrote:
I think I picked not very popular answer. But I am not sure how to put to words what most of the concerns I have. During the day I do let my eyes stray in the streets some times But I am working on this. The m"zl not very much if I am remaining occupied and not alone. This does not overtake me anymore because it is active choice. I can make the choice not to do this actions. I find it when I am alone without much to be occupied. In bed at night it is the most difficult my thoughts go to my sickness. But I do not allow myself to act out. It is the thoughts I feel powerless to. I do not invite them then why do they come to me at night


So, it is the 'thoughts' and 'fantasies' that you're the most concerned of?

Let's also not forget that whatever the results are, it is all sorts of lust behavior that we got to curb; this is just the way we are bringin' it out.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Dec 2014 10:00 #245823

  • ehrliche.bochur
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cordnoy wrote:
ehrliche.bochur wrote:
I think I picked not very popular answer. But I am not sure how to put to words what most of the concerns I have. During the day I do let my eyes stray in the streets some times But I am working on this. The m"zl not very much if I am remaining occupied and not alone. This does not overtake me anymore because it is active choice. I can make the choice not to do this actions. I find it when I am alone without much to be occupied. In bed at night it is the most difficult my thoughts go to my sickness. But I do not allow myself to act out. It is the thoughts I feel powerless to. I do not invite them then why do they come to me at night


So, it is the 'thoughts' and 'fantasies' that you're the most concerned of?

Let's also not forget that whatever the results are, it is all sorts of lust behavior that we got to curb; this is just the way we are bringin' it out.

b'hatzlachah


Yes! How to curb that? The physical and acting out. Ok. I can refrain from this. I can control my hands not to look at schmutz in my phone or internet. To not explore myself. But the thoughts? be'zras hashem how do I clean my thoughts of that?
-"Все наши слова - пустой звук, если наше сердце не с нами"

-"есть око видят и ухо слышащее и все твои дела записываются в книгу

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Dec 2014 10:45 #245824

  • cordnoy
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the thoughts come in, but don't let them fester.
It is the continuance of the thoughts that lead to fantasy and to trouble.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 28 Dec 2014 21:46 #245951

  • newaction
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Cordnoy you wrote something before about - relationship addiction . If you dont mind to elaborate please . is it what they call - codependency ? what you wrote was interesting because i had the suspicion that besides the known addictions like , alcohol, lust , gambling, shopping , etc . there are more categories and groups and sub groups . And here you mentioned about this type called "relationship addiction " So i was wondering if you can tell us a bit more about it. Thanks.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 28 Dec 2014 21:53 #245952

  • cordnoy
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It probably comes from loneliness; not the loneliness that people usually associate with. One can have friends, family, social life, etc, but they can be lonely for somethin'. That is what my therapist explained to me, and it makes sense as well (chidush!). It is quite possible that I am/was/will be lookin' for a female to behave/act/be treated/treat me in a certain manner that subconsciously I am missin' or lackin', and am on the prowl for such a relationship. Does it have somethin' to do with sex? Probably, but who knows? As we are workin' thru the lustin' issues, this does not crop up as much, but, it's there.

make any sense?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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