Amen. Ok let me know , not that i am a philanthropist but i would like to help if i can.
Hatzlacha in your endeavors.

Although this is alcoholism related, there maybe a lesson for any addiction. I caught a stomach bug and the symptoms match exactly what it was like to have a hang over after drinking. I feel lousy (understatement) and no sane person would intentionally create the situation that I'm in now. And yet I used to do it time and time again. I can forget at times the reasons I cannot drink alcohol. My current illness is a timely, compelling and harsh reminder of what happens to me when I drink.

I just remembered that I had a masturbation dream. In the dream I was going to stop myself and then I realized that it was only a dream. So I reasoned that since it was only a dream I could continue. But I decided that since I was aware I couldn't continue. I was afraid that if I didn't stop myself in my dream, who says I would stop in real life when some other rationalization would present itself.

newaction wrote:


newaction, again I am touched by your ahavas yisroel.

Time for me to get back focused on my step work. It's nice to try and help others, including people posting here, but I can't transmit what I don't have. I'm finding it emotionally exhausting to post on some of the threads here and I think that stems from my own co-dependency and other character defects. There are some people who are newish like me and even newer who I get a lot of chizuk from, not to mention the people who have been here awhile! On the other hand some people can drain you like an emotional vampire. It gives new meaning to genavas daas . It is small wonder how these people have so drained themselves to a point of despair. I guess I was and am like that to a certain extent myself.

Serenity, this itself is a growth opportunity. We all need to have an appropriate measure of give and take and a combination thereof(actions which are both, either in a healthy way or symbiotic). The fact that a person can get exasperated with the giving means that he is giving more than he feels he can. It isn't anybody else's fault and nobody is responsible to take care of this for him. Nobody can and nobody is required to anticipate what your measure should be. This is an important lesson that a person learns in taking care of themselves. So the fact that you are honing in on your appropriate measure is yet another show of your ever flourishing growth. Keep up the good work.

Hello all!

Started step 4 today! Finally! Making a decision to turn my will and life over the care of G-d (Step 3) was something hard for me to conceptualize. I didn't think I could 100% honestly, fully and sincerely do that. But you know what, I can do that for today and that's all I need to do. One day at a time!

Thanks for tuning in.

KUTGW!!!

and KEEP US POSTED!!!!

You took the decision , you are in the game ; all the rest is bonus.

I buried an addict on Friday. I didn't know him that well, but I cried like a baby at his funeral. He was 21 years old, bright, likeable and had his whole life ahead of him. We often question whether or not we hit bottom, as if there is some rule that we can't get recovery before then. I think there is little doubt that he hit bottom. He was right down there in a deep pit as we covered him in dirt. I want to curse now, but I won't out of respect this site. What a ******* waste. Of course, I believe that Hashem has a hidden plan and perhaps he fulfilled his purpose on earth. I don't think we have the luxury to say that about ourselves though. So I can keep digging until I'm so low that people start throwing dirt on top of me, or I can keep climbing and choose life.

Wow!

Hashem yaazor!

Wow!!

Thanks Serenity for sharing and let me tell that's a real "יזכיר לו יום המיתה".

We could all use one of those every so often.

May we only share Simchas!!!

"I am Hashem your G-d, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. "You shall have no other gods before Me."

Which G-d is it that I shall have no other God's before? The One who brought me out of Egypt מצרים. The route word of מצרים is מצר or straights a narrow path. These are my limitations that have put me on the narrow path of addiction. I have stayed on this path and have been constrained to the point that I have become slave in the house of bondage. I sunk to the lowest depths of tumah and Hashem brought me out. That is the G-d who I shall have no other G-ds before. The One who shlepped me out of my limitations and freed me from slavery. That is the G-d of my understanding and these are His attributes: (Pls forgive the cut and paste from Wikipedia R"L)

יְהוָה Adonai — compassion before a person sins;
יְהוָה Adonai — compassion after a person has sinned;
אֵל El — mighty in compassion to give all creatures according to their need;
רַחוּם Rachum — merciful, that humankind may not be distressed;
וְחַנּוּן VeChanun — and gracious if humankind is already in distress;
אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם Erech appayim — slow to anger;
וְרַב-חֶסֶד VeRav chesed — and plenteous in kindness;
וֶאֱמֶת VeEmet — and truth;
נֹצֵר חֶסֶד לָאֲלָפִים Notzer chesed laalafim — keeping kindness unto thousands;
נֹשֵׂא עָו‍ֹן Noseh avon — forgiving iniquity;
וָפֶשַׁע VaFeshah — and transgression;
וְחַטָּאָה VeChata'ah — and sin;
וְנַקֵּה VeNakeh — and pardoning.

I made a decision that I do not want to be the person that I was and that I want to grow spiritually and morally. Until I had that change of mind and of heart as to who I honestly was and who I wanted to be, there was no filter, chart, restriction on this planet that could stop me from acting out. 

Thanks for listening, doing so is of service to me.

Great stuff!
If I start blackjack, it is extremely difficult to stop.
And forget about lust; if I get anywhere near there, I'm a goner!

b'hatzlachah on all levels.

serenity wrote:


Now, I know they were drinkin' then.....



but were they gamblin' as well?