I don't if it's just me, but GYE chat doesn't work in my Chrome browser and hasn't for about two months. If you've messaged me and I haven't answered, you now have the likely reason.

On a PC or on a smartPhone? It's been working fine on my computer. Do you gEt some sort of error? If so email it to eyes.guard@gmail.com

On my laptop. I'm going to try it on a PC. I emailed Guard.

Ty!

Who do I serve?

Who will I serve?

Myself? God? God for myself?

Maybe I'm better off not serving anyone at all. Even in serving there is too much ego for someone like me. I have to be a yesh to think I can be of service to God. Maybe others aren't that way, but I am. Maybe I should place my will and trust in the care of God.

I hear what you are saying. I also have too much ego to consider myself a servant of Hashem, then I start doing it for me, which perverts the whole idea.

But is not placing all our trust in Him declaring that RBS"O I am your servant. Do with me what You will.

It is frustrating to see people seeking mental health advice on an anonymous website. It is frightening that people here actually dole out that advice.

For some reason I never get the 411 on when the new cycle of phone conferences starts. I saw a post from Guard today about it, so I'm pasting it here for those of you who are like me. Also pls note Dov's call started a new cycle today.


12-Step phone conferences.

They are starting a new cycle on Oct 19 be"h.

See guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/big-book-study-grouphis!

It's not just you! I'm having a lot of issues with the gye chat On my iPhone as well.

serenity wrote:

I don't understand where you're going with this.

Does your status of an addict release you from v'ovadta es Hashem Elokecha?

I can't wrap my head around the logic of I am too unworthy to be unworthy. So what are you - worthy or unworthy? Do you exist? Does Hashem not want your service, as lowly as you believe it to be?

Please explain this to me.

serenity wrote:

Can you post this where you see it happening?

I think one of my character defects is my tendency to rank people including myself. I'm usually ranked pretty high over all, by the way . I can also rank myself fairly low at times. I think this may be part of the reason I don't deal well at all with getting called out on something in front of group of people. I guess I've kind of already ranked myself in that group, somewhere near or at the top and then someone comes a long and tears me down. (This happened recently btw) My response was to react poorly and later try to garner support and affirmation from one of the higher ups in the group, and not only didn't he give me what I was looking for, but he criticized me further. Me defense mechanism then sent me into a pattern of thought that this guy is just a simple guy and just not in the same league as me. That thought process is making me think that my tendency to rank people is just me being on the offensive to protect myself from hurt.

Hi Mr Serenity

I love you and appreciate the posts you write and what you are trying to say. Let's make that clear from the outset.

Based on the deep stuff you just wrote above about ranking, I can certainly relate. But based on the actual context and circumstances of the situations you describe these ideas coming up in, my heart tells me that you might get a lot further by not getting involved in your motivations, attitudes, or step4-ing it.

Instead, I feel perhaps that staying very simple and looking at your behavior and actions would deliver more bang for your buck in these cases, as would talking them over with a sponsor. I feel that the dirction you are choosing to go sounds very recovery-ish, but may not be.

Just a thought. Let me know if you get my drift...

- Dov

Agree 100%. Ty!