Huh? What? OA has 12 steps. Same as AA.

Thank you for that advice. My plan so far is to keep working the steps and going to meetings. I hope I can just take it one day at a time. . I think it will help me to start doing some service at that point as well.

Wow am I happy right now! I'm happy because,

serenity wrote:


I saw some links that had 13.
Can't post 'em, for they are triggerin', as they have all sorts of pictures of....

My goal at my SA meeting tonight is to listen and pay attention to other people with the specific intention of seeing what works and what doesn't work for them.

can you share some working ideas

- Fantasize about sobriety.
- Stop over analyzing this simple program (SA or GYE)
- Don't think surrendering means your weak
- You don't have to fail
- Focus on what you've done, the positive - not slips and fails
- Be honest
- Ur aren't unique or alone
- knith good and it will be good
- put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

I like all your points except the first. I think we need to stop fantasizing period. Trying to fantasize about sobriety or even Hashem, i don't think works for us. Maybe a normal fella would but we are too forgone for it to work for us. Now should we think about sobriety and internalize it in ourselves: ABSOLUTELY! But i think we should completely cut out fantasizing and lust!

may i use these words in my footer?
"put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!"

As far as I'm concerned but you don't need to ask me because I got the idea from Dov. I can relate to what you are saying about fantasy. It was a suggestion from Dov as well. It seems to work for me. But I can for sure how it it's not for everyone.

Not the exact words from Dov, but the idea. I didn't credit him in case I didn't get it right .

Maybe instead of saying fantasize about sobriety say "think about how things will look when they are better.

It's not important to me why the 12 steps of SA are working for me. It's not important for me to understand why I'm an addict or how addiction works. What is important to me is to know that I am an addict and to know that there is a solution which is the 12 steps of SA.

I had received stressful information today that could effect my parnasa. As I was thinking about the information, I started getting anxious and edgy. Also fear and resentment started creeping in. I then started thinking that my emotional and psychological unease could eventually lead me to act out. Let me stress that I wasn't having any desire to act out and I wasn't thinking about doing anything that could directly lead to acting out. I knew though that I had to bring out my tools. The first thing that I did was daven to Hashem. I asked Hashem to help me do His will and to give me the understanding and courage I would need. I also said the serenity prayer. Right after that, I called my AA sponsor and discussed everything with him and sought his advice. I was doing better already. I had a plan of action and was felling better. But still I have been generally unwilling to face work challenges lately and I was procrastinating. My AA sponsee texted me about going to a meeting tonight. I said I couldn't but suggested we go to one right then; and so we did. It was a Big Book meeting that was discussing the chapter "into action."; which was pretty appropriate to the occasion. After that I had the courage to take care of business and took steps that will hopefully mend my potential parnasa issues.

It was amazing how the principles of the 12 steps and the application of the Serenity prayer helped me not only in my sobriety but in my business. But the truth is that's all about helping me in life, business, family etc. The program becomes the solution instead of addiction. My whole life I looked at addiction as the problem. Addiction was never the problem, it was the solution.

We spend years davening to Hashem to help up remove the problem of masturbation example. Of course our prayers aren't answered, because they are meaningless and total lies. Masturbation wasn't the problem for me, it was the solution to my problems. So I was never asking Hashem to remove my problems or help me with them; my words were empty and meaningless. Now I am asking Hashem to help with my problems, and dealing with them and/or letting go when need be, as part and parcel of the rest of the program of SA.

Time for a little update. I'm spending way too much time here commenting on the forum at the expense of my 1st step work. It's time to buckle back down and continue writing my 1st step. That being said, I'm otherwise doing well and very grateful to be here. This week I was blessed to attend 3 SA meetings, 3 GYE phone conferences and 4 AA meetings. I spoke or left messages for my sponsors in SA and AA every day. I reached out to friends in both programs daily. I was of service by giving people rides to meetings. My prayer can use more consistency. I should start practicing meditation. Not sure what else I have right now. Thanks for being here and supporting my spiritual growth.

Hashem is in control, when we let Him be. B"H I am celebrating 90 days of Sobriety. My plan wasn't to update the 90 day chart, at least not right now. I didn't think it was necessary or necessarily helpful to my recovery. So I logged off of GYE without updating and didn't really give it a second thought. Then I was about to log out of my Gmail and I saw 2 new emails from GYE congratulating me on 90 days. I guess the Abishter updated it for me! Anyway I am grateful to all of you for helping me thus far and I am hopeful because of your continued chizuk. I can only hope for a daily reprieve from this disease and thank Hashem every day that I get one. To anyone who this may help, I have never had an extended period of sobriety that lasted more than 2 weeks even under dire circumstances. It is only a through miracle of Hashem that I have each of these 90 days and each day hereafter.