pischoshelmachat wrote:


I seem to recall this not always workin' for you.
I know it doesn't work for me.

It is still my one wish if I had one, but it included protection.

serenity wrote:


I just came across this post. Wow! I see from this the dynamic value of the meetings.

I'm not the nice guy type to argue with your assertion that you aren't honest, but I happen to have always believed that one who searches to find his dishonest tendencies is more honest than one who doesn't.

Took my fifth step tonight. I'm feeling emotional and at the same time I'm feeling a new level of freedom, like a burden has been lifted from me.

Thank you for sharing. I feel so good for you.

It's so exhilarating when a chaver expresses sincere simcha.

Serenity, Mazal tov in 90 days. You should celebrate many more great things and enjoy every step along the way and feel the Aibishter's love, care and guidance always.
Thank you for all your help.
Shlomo

Serenity, thank you so much for thinking of me yesterday when I was being challenged.
With the help of Gd I made it through the evening complete.
I will peruse your message to me with your contact details and see how we can be in touch. I didn't reply yeaterday as by the time you messages me i was going to sleep.

Been having a bit of insanity lately. I'm not working the prayer and meditation portions of the steps, maybe it will help if I do. Spent the day in Dov's SA step workshop today and went to a meeting at night. I'm still not mentally living as sober as I need to be. I think I need to meditate, pray and do steps 7-8.

Thanks guys. Hatzlacha.

The following SA White Book excerpt has many of us written all over it.

Sometimes the program comes harder to those who are "believers" than to those who never had any faith at all or who had lost it. This often holds true for those who have been in other Twelve Step programs before coming to-SA. One might think that previous religious devotion or success in quitting another addiction would make it easier for one to gain sexual sobriety, but this is not necessarily the case. Often, such members find they must start "from square one," as though they had no faith or had never heard of the program. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, the saying goes, and lack of surrender in any of our known defective areas blocks the grace of God and makes it impossible to forge any chain of enduring spiritual and emotional strength. Success in quitting other addictions seduced many of us into believing we were really working the program and had everything together. The unmanageability of our lives proved otherwise. Many of us merely switched addictions. Knowledge and pride were our chief obstacles here. Knowing the Truth, or knowing the program-often being self-styled authorities and even sponsoring others-only kept us from changing our attitudes and righting our wrongs.Knowledge never gave us power. We had left lust, sex, and relationships out of the exposure, surrender, and recovery process, which simply meant we could not fully recover. No wonder we were still uncomfortable! "Half measures availed us nothing." It seems harder for some who have been sober for years from other addictions to admit they are in denial in the sexaholic area than it is for newcomers who have never even heard of the Steps. This is simply one of the realities of our experience. We discovered the hard way that we had to leave our knowledge and pride outside the door when we entered. We could only join with our fellow members and be a part of when we identified on the basis of our current addiction, powerlessness, and distress. We identify with each other at the point of our weaknesses. Our wrongfulness and our wrongs are what bring us together and to God. Many of us have already been through the alcohol, drug, pill, and overeating scenes. We've become aware of our compulsive approach to almost everything in our lives. There's no place left to go except to face the truth about ourselves, stop resorting to other addictions and forms of lust we think we can get away with, and surrender to our God.

Man- So Powerful and Wise

You know I am jealous of the people behind AA Na GA Sa etc.

I recently saw a video someone posted on Facebook. I wanted to link it here, but I'm not sure about the GYE policy on that and out of respect for those of trying to avoid unnecessary clicking I won't. I would like to talk about the video and the lesson I learned from it though.

There is a 4 year old girl tasked with the job of feeding and controlling 6 pitbulls. The food is behind the girl on a counter and the six pits are visibly anxious for it. The little girl instructs them to sit down and continues to do so until they are all sitting. Then she asks them if they are hungry a few times, which they clearly are. She is making them wait and they are reluctantly respecting her established authority over the pack. This tiny four year old girl has established authority over 6 pit bulls and they are antsy. Once she is comfortable that they are in compliance, she puts the food down on the floor and spreads it out for them. They remain sitting and await her further instructions. The makes them wait some more and then she does a countdown and finally gives the instruction that allows them to pounce on the food.

How amazing is that! There are a lot of lessons I can take from this, but I'm focusing on one for now. No sense in overtaxing the brain . This girl is able to control the natural instincts of these dogs. She is able to act as a higher power to them. The fact that she is much weaker than them becomes irrelevant. What becomes relevant is that the dogs have surrendered their power to her. We find in AA that belief in the program or God isn't necessary for the program to work or for God to be our Higher Power. What is necessary that we are willing to believe and that we act on that willingness. For those of us who do have a strong belief in God, how much the more so should we be able to surrender to Him and to place our trust in Him. But that strong belief isn't even necessary, even a pack of pitbulls can control their desires once they surrender to a perceived higher power.

I realize my analysis isn't flawless, so any feedback will be appreciated. I'm more interested in hearing about what we can learn to help our recovery than hearing how this doesn't apply to recovery

The excerpt below is taken from "AA" Dr. Bob's Nightmare page 181 and slightly changed to suit our purposes. I'm not putting it here to infer that specific program is for everyone, but the message is clear. What we have done on the past hasn't worked for us, or we wouldn't be here. Let us put aside our skepticism and our pride, and let us put some effort into our recovery instead of feeling bad about our failures.

"If you think you are ... a skeptic, or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book, I feel sorry for you. If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all, and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when getting another drink.

A little more from Dr. Bob. I hear a lot of people asking if the craving will ever leave. Here is his experience.

"Unlike most of our crowd, I did not get over my craving for liquor much during the first two and one-half years of abstinence. It was almost always with me. But at no time have I been anywhere near yielding."

serenity wrote:


A very important insight here.

A person can live with craving for a significant period of time. Yet, it does not necessarily have any bearing at all in engaging in the kind of behavior the craving is luring you to.
This offsets the argument that a person often finds saying to himself: "Here I go again. I'm lusting. So I know I will eventually have to give in"

Dr. Bob proves otherwise

Powerful Stuff

Alcoholics Anonymous Page 70

"To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache."

The book AA sums up the solution for people like us "If sex is very troublesome" very succinctly as highlighted above in blue. We need to get out of ourselves and the way to do that is by thinking of the needs of others and doing for others.